Unfortunately, I have not been true to my word, about posting every day something that God has shown me. It's not that God hasn't shown me things, it's that I got caught up with the craziness and laziness in this world. I have no excuses. However, God has shown me things through this craziness and laziness I've come to the past 2 weeks. I am disappointed in myself for losing the desire to post here every day and not keeping up with it.
There will always be craziness in life, but it's what you do with the craziness that can define many areas of your life. For me, God revealed to me that when the craziness happens...what truly are my priorities in life. It was a rude wake up call to me...that I thought my priorities were where they should have been...But that is what God shows me now...
All I ask is for God's forgiveness and I pray to God that He would instill in me the desire to get my priorities straight. I pray Lord Jesus that I would turn to you and not get caught up in every day craziness that may occur...and that every day you are in front of me guiding me and walking beside and revealing to me the things in this life. I thank you for waking me up and catching me in the craziness.
Lord Jesus, I ask today, for the rest of the day that is to come, that you would reveal to me something I am in need of to learn and something that you desire for me to have revealed to me.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Warning! Snow storm coming...
I've lived in Wisconsin my entire life (except 1 year in North Carolina when I was in 6th grade) and every year we deal with the same thing...the first snow storm of the winter! It's always a fun time to see the snow falling, lots of it, have cancellations and go home early and just sit at home and curl up in a blanket and just watch it snow. I love it.
Well, our first BIG snow storm is SUPPOSE to hit this afternoon and all day tomorrow. There have been cancellations that have started since yesterday! YESTERDAY!! Why? I always have to laugh, because it's 2 days before it suppose to hit and we are already freaking OUT! People are canceling appointments, events, school... Now, don't get me wrong, I do think it's going to happen too, it isn't going to be good. But here is the thing...many times in our winters we hear of these BIG storms coming and they amount to 2 inches of snow, when they had predicted 10. I'm not saying that is going to the case for this one...but here is my point...
We HEAR something from a news channel or a certified weather person, and we think they have all the RIGHT answers. We begin to be like, "o my, did you hear about this storm that is happening? I better cancel all my appointments and run to the grocery store and do this and do that, so I'm PREPARED!" Again, don't get me wrong, I'M GLAD people are preparing and I'm not saying I'm laughing at that part...
Why do we freak out when we hear something and go to all measures to prepare ourselves? Do we do the same thing with our Christian walk with Jesus? Or do you see people running around when they hear about Jesus Christ and that He is going to be coming back someday, and someday soon, at any time and moment? NO! This really bothers me. These same people HEAR the same news from Pastors, from friends & family. But do we find them listening? Not many! Isn't it interesting that they would rather listen to a complete stranger of a news channel or certified weather person(where the predictions tend to be off) then to listen to their CLOSE dear friend or family member?
We should be living everyday as if we have snow storm ahead of us. We should be preparing our hearts and our minds for the return of Jesus Christ...and let me tell you, that will be an amazing snow storm! :) We should be telling others of the "storm" that lies ahead of us as well. Just like everyone is reaching others to warn them of the storm coming today/tomorrow, we need to be reaching people for the Lord Jesus Christ!
O Lord Jesus, I thank you so much for laying this on my heart this morning. I pray right now for this storm we have coming, for the lives of people and the safety you will protect us with. I pray that I may live this day to reach people for you. I pray that we don't get caught up in the storm and the craziness but really dwell on you during this time.
Jesus, I want to reach more people to You. I pray that those opportunities you give me, that I will take them with all my might and hold on to them and use them for what you've given me. Thank you Jesus for all you have done to give me these thoughts Lord.
Well, our first BIG snow storm is SUPPOSE to hit this afternoon and all day tomorrow. There have been cancellations that have started since yesterday! YESTERDAY!! Why? I always have to laugh, because it's 2 days before it suppose to hit and we are already freaking OUT! People are canceling appointments, events, school... Now, don't get me wrong, I do think it's going to happen too, it isn't going to be good. But here is the thing...many times in our winters we hear of these BIG storms coming and they amount to 2 inches of snow, when they had predicted 10. I'm not saying that is going to the case for this one...but here is my point...
We HEAR something from a news channel or a certified weather person, and we think they have all the RIGHT answers. We begin to be like, "o my, did you hear about this storm that is happening? I better cancel all my appointments and run to the grocery store and do this and do that, so I'm PREPARED!" Again, don't get me wrong, I'M GLAD people are preparing and I'm not saying I'm laughing at that part...
Why do we freak out when we hear something and go to all measures to prepare ourselves? Do we do the same thing with our Christian walk with Jesus? Or do you see people running around when they hear about Jesus Christ and that He is going to be coming back someday, and someday soon, at any time and moment? NO! This really bothers me. These same people HEAR the same news from Pastors, from friends & family. But do we find them listening? Not many! Isn't it interesting that they would rather listen to a complete stranger of a news channel or certified weather person(where the predictions tend to be off) then to listen to their CLOSE dear friend or family member?
We should be living everyday as if we have snow storm ahead of us. We should be preparing our hearts and our minds for the return of Jesus Christ...and let me tell you, that will be an amazing snow storm! :) We should be telling others of the "storm" that lies ahead of us as well. Just like everyone is reaching others to warn them of the storm coming today/tomorrow, we need to be reaching people for the Lord Jesus Christ!
O Lord Jesus, I thank you so much for laying this on my heart this morning. I pray right now for this storm we have coming, for the lives of people and the safety you will protect us with. I pray that I may live this day to reach people for you. I pray that we don't get caught up in the storm and the craziness but really dwell on you during this time.
Jesus, I want to reach more people to You. I pray that those opportunities you give me, that I will take them with all my might and hold on to them and use them for what you've given me. Thank you Jesus for all you have done to give me these thoughts Lord.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Over Disciplined?
Is there such a thing as over disciplined? Yesterday at church we had a sermon titled: Lack of Discipline: Mismanagement.
Lack of discipline is just as much a toxin as greed, lying and pride, Lack of self-control hinders Christians from experiencing life to the fullest, as Jesus promised. Lazy people want much but get little, while the diligetn are prospering. (Prov. 13:4)
This sermon made me think in a different direction, which was being over disciplined where it controls my life a different way. If you haven't figure it out about me yet, I'm an organized person, to the point I think I may have a problem! :) I love it so much, I consider it a hobby! hahhahaa...okay, maybe not to that extreme, but I do love to be organized!
The sermon talked about having self-discipline. Healthy self-discipline is the ability to do what should be done. Not necessarily what I want to do, but what I need to do and/or what I should do. You see, for me it's not that I don't want to do them or don't know that I needs to get done...its the matter of I WANT to do them BEFORE I can do anything else.
Then we talked about the multiple responsibilities we have in our lives such as: God, Family, Employer, Neighbors, Personal Development, Friends, Church, Society.
It's what you do with your time that is most important. We are to be careful to time wasters. Everyone is given 24 hrs in a day, how do I spend my 24 hrs? I thought about this all day yesterday after we came back from church form hearing this. My husband wanted to go pheasant hunting, but I kept thinking about all the laundry and cleaning I needed to get done.
Here is where I struggle and think I'm over disciplined. I knew all the things that needed to get done at home and knew that it would take a 1/2 day to a full day to get all of it done. If I didn't do it then, I wouldn't get around to it till Tuesday. I wanted to go with my husband because I knew it would be a fun walk in the woods for the whole day and to spend time together. I was torn. Which do I do?
Well, I ended up staying home and getting ALL my laundry done and cleaning. I kept wondering the whole time if I would have went, what that would have been like. Being I got all my stuff done, I no longer was thinking about it the back of my head...but if I would have went with my husband, I have a feeling I would have been still thinking about and nervous about getting it all done! Which is better? Was it better for me to stay home to get it all done, or would it have been better for me to go with my husband? Did I spend my 24 hrs yesterday wisely?
I know I did some time wasters yesterday as well, becuase I ended up taking a 15 min. nap too, because my back hurt. But I don't see it as a time waster, because if I wouldn't have rested, I wouldn't have been taking care of myself. Right?
This is so much think about it for so many ways this could go.
Lord Jesus, show me ways I need to disciple myself better and show me ways that I may be OVER disciplined. Jesus I thank you for the time I was able to have at home to get all the things I needed to get done and I thank you my husband was able to still go hunting and able to provide for us some more dinners! :) O God, I pray you show my husband and I the balance we need to for each other, but also the balance we need to get things done as well. Help us to help each other out where we need it most during these times and to be understand with each other. I thank you so much for the understanding and loving husband you have given me who is willing to stand by me to figure these things out! Lord Jesus, I want to use my 24 hrs a day to the best I can and the best that will glorify you. I pray you will show and give me opportunities in every day that I won't waste! Help me to be alert and aware of ways I can show your love and care to others.
Lack of discipline is just as much a toxin as greed, lying and pride, Lack of self-control hinders Christians from experiencing life to the fullest, as Jesus promised. Lazy people want much but get little, while the diligetn are prospering. (Prov. 13:4)
This sermon made me think in a different direction, which was being over disciplined where it controls my life a different way. If you haven't figure it out about me yet, I'm an organized person, to the point I think I may have a problem! :) I love it so much, I consider it a hobby! hahhahaa...okay, maybe not to that extreme, but I do love to be organized!
The sermon talked about having self-discipline. Healthy self-discipline is the ability to do what should be done. Not necessarily what I want to do, but what I need to do and/or what I should do. You see, for me it's not that I don't want to do them or don't know that I needs to get done...its the matter of I WANT to do them BEFORE I can do anything else.
Then we talked about the multiple responsibilities we have in our lives such as: God, Family, Employer, Neighbors, Personal Development, Friends, Church, Society.
It's what you do with your time that is most important. We are to be careful to time wasters. Everyone is given 24 hrs in a day, how do I spend my 24 hrs? I thought about this all day yesterday after we came back from church form hearing this. My husband wanted to go pheasant hunting, but I kept thinking about all the laundry and cleaning I needed to get done.
Here is where I struggle and think I'm over disciplined. I knew all the things that needed to get done at home and knew that it would take a 1/2 day to a full day to get all of it done. If I didn't do it then, I wouldn't get around to it till Tuesday. I wanted to go with my husband because I knew it would be a fun walk in the woods for the whole day and to spend time together. I was torn. Which do I do?
Well, I ended up staying home and getting ALL my laundry done and cleaning. I kept wondering the whole time if I would have went, what that would have been like. Being I got all my stuff done, I no longer was thinking about it the back of my head...but if I would have went with my husband, I have a feeling I would have been still thinking about and nervous about getting it all done! Which is better? Was it better for me to stay home to get it all done, or would it have been better for me to go with my husband? Did I spend my 24 hrs yesterday wisely?
I know I did some time wasters yesterday as well, becuase I ended up taking a 15 min. nap too, because my back hurt. But I don't see it as a time waster, because if I wouldn't have rested, I wouldn't have been taking care of myself. Right?
This is so much think about it for so many ways this could go.
Lord Jesus, show me ways I need to disciple myself better and show me ways that I may be OVER disciplined. Jesus I thank you for the time I was able to have at home to get all the things I needed to get done and I thank you my husband was able to still go hunting and able to provide for us some more dinners! :) O God, I pray you show my husband and I the balance we need to for each other, but also the balance we need to get things done as well. Help us to help each other out where we need it most during these times and to be understand with each other. I thank you so much for the understanding and loving husband you have given me who is willing to stand by me to figure these things out! Lord Jesus, I want to use my 24 hrs a day to the best I can and the best that will glorify you. I pray you will show and give me opportunities in every day that I won't waste! Help me to be alert and aware of ways I can show your love and care to others.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Communication #2
Just only a few days ago, God had a very cool situation happen with communication. This must be an area I need to work on or something, because it happened again! I think this will always be a life-long thing to learn. ???
This time I learned how lack of communication can catch up to you and bit you in the butt! (to put it plain and simple)
It's probably hard to explain this...
Basically I had just assumed something with Ben and thought...nah I don't have to tell him that is what I am going to do with something, because, eh...I have a right to do it this time. Well...that sure stung me later.
All I know is, from now on, I will communicate about things, because he does with me on this same thing, so why shouldn't I? I feel horrible for how it played out today, but at the same time, I don't regret it because you always learn something from your mistakes.
Lord Jesus, I thank you for revealing to me once again today that this communication thing is very important in a relationship! Thank you for letting me "get caught" and for having Ben and I be able to talk about it, because once again, it probably wouldn't have been a conversation I would have been willing to have, if not forced to. I know you are showing me more and more things with this and I pray you'll continue to reveal to me my flaws in this area and that you "force" us to deal with it right away. Lord Jesus I pray that I will become a better wife through this and that my husband and I will be able to continue to help each other out through this as we figure out the difference from being on our own to now marriage. Even though we've been married over a year, I pray we can continue to learn these things and not let it become an issue. Guide us Lord in the way that honors you!
This time I learned how lack of communication can catch up to you and bit you in the butt! (to put it plain and simple)
It's probably hard to explain this...
Basically I had just assumed something with Ben and thought...nah I don't have to tell him that is what I am going to do with something, because, eh...I have a right to do it this time. Well...that sure stung me later.
All I know is, from now on, I will communicate about things, because he does with me on this same thing, so why shouldn't I? I feel horrible for how it played out today, but at the same time, I don't regret it because you always learn something from your mistakes.
Lord Jesus, I thank you for revealing to me once again today that this communication thing is very important in a relationship! Thank you for letting me "get caught" and for having Ben and I be able to talk about it, because once again, it probably wouldn't have been a conversation I would have been willing to have, if not forced to. I know you are showing me more and more things with this and I pray you'll continue to reveal to me my flaws in this area and that you "force" us to deal with it right away. Lord Jesus I pray that I will become a better wife through this and that my husband and I will be able to continue to help each other out through this as we figure out the difference from being on our own to now marriage. Even though we've been married over a year, I pray we can continue to learn these things and not let it become an issue. Guide us Lord in the way that honors you!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Communication is Joyful
I just learned a great and wonderful thing! I have two things that God has been working on my heart TODAY on, and it's only 1:30pm! That excites me.
I just had a great conversation with my sweet husband. I love it when he calls me thought the day to just say Hi. This conversation went a direction I had prepared for, but one that was NEEDED! :) I've had some built up emotions for about 3 months now. Ya see, my husband is a hunter. He hunts ducks, pheasants, grouse and deer. I think that is all. So since end of September, he has been non stop hunting. I appreciate it so much because it brings a freezer full of delicious dinners that you can't get from the grocery store or from a restaurant (without pay the price). At the same time, it also requires him to be gone out hunting a lot. I don't mind most times, but when it gets to be constant and when he comes home exhausted and then our evening is shot because of him being tired, then it wears on me. Can you see where this is going yet?
I've had this built up for months! When I think about talking about it, for some reason I chicken out and make an excuse for why not to talk to Ben about my concerns. Like, "o he helped me with hanging lights in the basements, so how can I get upset with him". Or stuff like that.
Well today when he called he told me about a trip he wants to take with his dad at the end of December. I immediately sunk! And thought, ah, I thought I wouldn't have to have this conversation, I thought we were going to be OK and I'd be fine till next season. Well, WRONG!
I know this is all because God wanted to teach me a lesson on communication. Yeah see, Communication is VERY important, right?! Well I thought I could get away with communication! :) And you know what, sure our conversation wasn't easy and it took awhile to talk things through, but you know what else? My husband is now aware of my feelings I have been having and will now be able to help me out through them! And that is the best thing...otherwise I'd have it all built up inside me and someday I could just explode and that wouldn't be helpful to anyone!
God also showed me something else through this...
Immediately after talking to my husband, I felt content and peaceful. Not because we just solved a conflict we had, yeah that was part of it. But you see, our communication hasn't been great for the last month, I'll be honest! So it felt good to TALK to him again.
This is exactly like my relationship with God. Many times I feel I just solve things on my own and I don't need to go to God for everything. But you know, I do! Just like with my husband, I need to go to him about the feelings and frustrations I am feeling, the joys and excitements...all of it. As do I need to go to God to TALK to him about my feelings and frustrations, my joys and excitements. The minute I stop, is the minute I feel alone! Just as the minute I loose touch with husband, I feel alone and like I need to defend for myself. But I don't need to! Not only is my husband there for me, even when we loose communication for awhile, but God is ALWAYS there and I need to remember and know that God there with open communication. I have the same feelings when I miss communication with God! I find that amazing! I love that I can tell when I haven't been talking with God how I am use to or should be, because I feel all BLUE inside! So whenever I feel disconnected, I know its because I need to be right on track with my communication with God!
Lord Jesus, first of all I thank you for always being here for me to be able to talk to. Thank you for showing me the love you show and the joy I feel when I do talk with you. Jesus I appreciate so much the opportunity YOU GAVE me today to talk with my husband. I know I needed to have that conversation and you gave it to me! Thank you! Thank you for being there through our conversation and having us both be open to our talk. You continue to show me amazing things in my life and I thank you that I opened to it. I pray I will continue to open to communication with you!
I just had a great conversation with my sweet husband. I love it when he calls me thought the day to just say Hi. This conversation went a direction I had prepared for, but one that was NEEDED! :) I've had some built up emotions for about 3 months now. Ya see, my husband is a hunter. He hunts ducks, pheasants, grouse and deer. I think that is all. So since end of September, he has been non stop hunting. I appreciate it so much because it brings a freezer full of delicious dinners that you can't get from the grocery store or from a restaurant (without pay the price). At the same time, it also requires him to be gone out hunting a lot. I don't mind most times, but when it gets to be constant and when he comes home exhausted and then our evening is shot because of him being tired, then it wears on me. Can you see where this is going yet?
I've had this built up for months! When I think about talking about it, for some reason I chicken out and make an excuse for why not to talk to Ben about my concerns. Like, "o he helped me with hanging lights in the basements, so how can I get upset with him". Or stuff like that.
Well today when he called he told me about a trip he wants to take with his dad at the end of December. I immediately sunk! And thought, ah, I thought I wouldn't have to have this conversation, I thought we were going to be OK and I'd be fine till next season. Well, WRONG!
I know this is all because God wanted to teach me a lesson on communication. Yeah see, Communication is VERY important, right?! Well I thought I could get away with communication! :) And you know what, sure our conversation wasn't easy and it took awhile to talk things through, but you know what else? My husband is now aware of my feelings I have been having and will now be able to help me out through them! And that is the best thing...otherwise I'd have it all built up inside me and someday I could just explode and that wouldn't be helpful to anyone!
God also showed me something else through this...
Immediately after talking to my husband, I felt content and peaceful. Not because we just solved a conflict we had, yeah that was part of it. But you see, our communication hasn't been great for the last month, I'll be honest! So it felt good to TALK to him again.
This is exactly like my relationship with God. Many times I feel I just solve things on my own and I don't need to go to God for everything. But you know, I do! Just like with my husband, I need to go to him about the feelings and frustrations I am feeling, the joys and excitements...all of it. As do I need to go to God to TALK to him about my feelings and frustrations, my joys and excitements. The minute I stop, is the minute I feel alone! Just as the minute I loose touch with husband, I feel alone and like I need to defend for myself. But I don't need to! Not only is my husband there for me, even when we loose communication for awhile, but God is ALWAYS there and I need to remember and know that God there with open communication. I have the same feelings when I miss communication with God! I find that amazing! I love that I can tell when I haven't been talking with God how I am use to or should be, because I feel all BLUE inside! So whenever I feel disconnected, I know its because I need to be right on track with my communication with God!
Lord Jesus, first of all I thank you for always being here for me to be able to talk to. Thank you for showing me the love you show and the joy I feel when I do talk with you. Jesus I appreciate so much the opportunity YOU GAVE me today to talk with my husband. I know I needed to have that conversation and you gave it to me! Thank you! Thank you for being there through our conversation and having us both be open to our talk. You continue to show me amazing things in my life and I thank you that I opened to it. I pray I will continue to open to communication with you!
His Perfect Time...is all things!
I think God is trying to tell me something about being patient. There are a few things going on in our lives right now and all them require patients! Hmmm...
Yep, teaching me patients!
My husband has been looking for permanent full time employment for about 2 years now. It hasn't been easy, more so for him than me. I'm content where we are, partially because I love my job and I don't really want to leave it and I love the area we live in. But at the same time I am not content because it sure would be nice to know where we are going to end up and live for a longer period of time, probably...and so we get steady income and better income for that matter. Well, my husband applied for a job a couple days ago. Every time he tells me he applied for a job, we get all excited about it (especially one that we THINK he is REALLY qualified for!) and think something will actually happen with this one! Well, that has happened to us a could number of times, needless to say nothing great has come out of it, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be writing about this. Well, we both find ourselves this week with the same feelings we have every time this happens. We CAN'T wait to hear something!!! We are so IMPATIENT!
Then, there are other opportunities that we face and I just think...ah I wish time would fly by so I know what God wants for us! Well, it doesn't work that way does it?! NOPE! Again, I'm impatient!
God is teaching me to be patient is BIG THINGS, like my husbands job & our living situation. And God is teaching me to be patient is small things (a opportunity I am exploring for a hobby). And I'm realizing that God cares about those, big or small, important or non important. God knows all and He knows we get impatient about the littlest things...
But He also teaches us things through those things. For me, yeah, I'm learning just play SLOW DOWN KELLY!!!! I tend to get excited about something and I just RUN with it!!!!!!! and FAST!!! I can't do that right now, because things are holding me up, but I know there is a reason why things are holding me up, its God. He wants me to just slow down and research and take it easy...because He has our best interest in mind! And I feel at peace just knowing that!!
Lord Jesus, I know I am not done with this one. I know you are still teaching me and having me process this one through! I pray that you continue to show me what you are showing me through being patient. I thank you for this opportunity that you have set before us, that we can lean on you and trust you to bring us to the next place you have for us. May you give us both peace and continued patients in this all.
Yep, teaching me patients!
My husband has been looking for permanent full time employment for about 2 years now. It hasn't been easy, more so for him than me. I'm content where we are, partially because I love my job and I don't really want to leave it and I love the area we live in. But at the same time I am not content because it sure would be nice to know where we are going to end up and live for a longer period of time, probably...and so we get steady income and better income for that matter. Well, my husband applied for a job a couple days ago. Every time he tells me he applied for a job, we get all excited about it (especially one that we THINK he is REALLY qualified for!) and think something will actually happen with this one! Well, that has happened to us a could number of times, needless to say nothing great has come out of it, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be writing about this. Well, we both find ourselves this week with the same feelings we have every time this happens. We CAN'T wait to hear something!!! We are so IMPATIENT!
Then, there are other opportunities that we face and I just think...ah I wish time would fly by so I know what God wants for us! Well, it doesn't work that way does it?! NOPE! Again, I'm impatient!
God is teaching me to be patient is BIG THINGS, like my husbands job & our living situation. And God is teaching me to be patient is small things (a opportunity I am exploring for a hobby). And I'm realizing that God cares about those, big or small, important or non important. God knows all and He knows we get impatient about the littlest things...
But He also teaches us things through those things. For me, yeah, I'm learning just play SLOW DOWN KELLY!!!! I tend to get excited about something and I just RUN with it!!!!!!! and FAST!!! I can't do that right now, because things are holding me up, but I know there is a reason why things are holding me up, its God. He wants me to just slow down and research and take it easy...because He has our best interest in mind! And I feel at peace just knowing that!!
Lord Jesus, I know I am not done with this one. I know you are still teaching me and having me process this one through! I pray that you continue to show me what you are showing me through being patient. I thank you for this opportunity that you have set before us, that we can lean on you and trust you to bring us to the next place you have for us. May you give us both peace and continued patients in this all.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Envy vs. Jealousy
On Sunday, Pastor Andy Hahn had a message at our church called "Greener Grass: The Toxin of Envy".
I knew this would be a good one, because we all fall short when it comes to Envy. I knew God would speak to me with something through this.
I know I'm an envious person, but what I didn't know was that there are different forms of Envy, which are:
Material - things
Relational - people
Positional - status
And that they different forms of envy all are in the 10 commandments, in one verse, Exodus 20:17...
"You shall not covet your neighbors house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
What I realized was Envy is a condition of the heart. And how do we develope a heart of peace? Well, we need to start with the heart first! Interesting, huh?
It makes me thinking about where did this develope and how and when did it start to reside in me? I need to remember to cultivate a heart of thanksgiving. Which goes back to a couple blogs ago when I talked about Thanksgiving should be everyday! Hum....
Am I thankful today?
I think the hardest part about all of this is to learn to rejoice in the well-being of others (to not be jealous). I think that is where it all starts for us all, that it becomes a factor that we dwell on and think how did that happen and not to me...we not only become Envious, but we become Jealous. And when Jealous eats us up, our heart becomes bitter and sour, and then we start to ACT that way towards people and to the person that we are jealous or envious of...and do they deserve that?
This makes me think about being satisfied with what God has given me. We all tend to get restless in our lives. I have felt that in the last 6 months probably, and maybe longer. Ben and I so badly want a house, but even before that, we desire to be a in place were we know we are going to live (meaning Ben gets a full time job!!). But we need that before we can get a house...so we tend to get anxious. Now is anxious different than being envious? I guess if I were envious of people that had a full time job and new were they were going to live for awhile. But you see, I don't think I am. I think its just more we desire to have that, becaust at the same time we are content we're we are too. But that is something I need to pray about and see what God is showing me more there.
But I need to be satisfied with were we are. Sure Ben might not have his full-time permanent job just yet, but he has a job and we live in a nice place and area that God has provided for us. There are many out there who don't even have a job, which forces them to move to a different place. I'm thankful for this!
I'm thankful for the wonderful husband I have!
Lord Jesus, I ask you now to search my heart and search my life of areas I need to be shown with Envy. I pray that you would continue to show me areas in my life that I need to work out and through and look at my heart and see that it is Christ-centered. Show me the areas in my life which are not! I thank you Jesus for the things you have show me through the message on Sunday. May this dwell in me and may I search more in depth to what you will show me!
I knew this would be a good one, because we all fall short when it comes to Envy. I knew God would speak to me with something through this.
I know I'm an envious person, but what I didn't know was that there are different forms of Envy, which are:
Material - things
Relational - people
Positional - status
And that they different forms of envy all are in the 10 commandments, in one verse, Exodus 20:17...
"You shall not covet your neighbors house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
What I realized was Envy is a condition of the heart. And how do we develope a heart of peace? Well, we need to start with the heart first! Interesting, huh?
It makes me thinking about where did this develope and how and when did it start to reside in me? I need to remember to cultivate a heart of thanksgiving. Which goes back to a couple blogs ago when I talked about Thanksgiving should be everyday! Hum....
Am I thankful today?
I think the hardest part about all of this is to learn to rejoice in the well-being of others (to not be jealous). I think that is where it all starts for us all, that it becomes a factor that we dwell on and think how did that happen and not to me...we not only become Envious, but we become Jealous. And when Jealous eats us up, our heart becomes bitter and sour, and then we start to ACT that way towards people and to the person that we are jealous or envious of...and do they deserve that?
This makes me think about being satisfied with what God has given me. We all tend to get restless in our lives. I have felt that in the last 6 months probably, and maybe longer. Ben and I so badly want a house, but even before that, we desire to be a in place were we know we are going to live (meaning Ben gets a full time job!!). But we need that before we can get a house...so we tend to get anxious. Now is anxious different than being envious? I guess if I were envious of people that had a full time job and new were they were going to live for awhile. But you see, I don't think I am. I think its just more we desire to have that, becaust at the same time we are content we're we are too. But that is something I need to pray about and see what God is showing me more there.
But I need to be satisfied with were we are. Sure Ben might not have his full-time permanent job just yet, but he has a job and we live in a nice place and area that God has provided for us. There are many out there who don't even have a job, which forces them to move to a different place. I'm thankful for this!
I'm thankful for the wonderful husband I have!
Lord Jesus, I ask you now to search my heart and search my life of areas I need to be shown with Envy. I pray that you would continue to show me areas in my life that I need to work out and through and look at my heart and see that it is Christ-centered. Show me the areas in my life which are not! I thank you Jesus for the things you have show me through the message on Sunday. May this dwell in me and may I search more in depth to what you will show me!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Show Love
Yesterday I learned that you should not give up on people. I've had a trouble-some situation that I just haven't been able to really understand. And yesterday God showed me about not giving up and about not forgetting about people.
I don't really want to mention the whole story...
but I got a phone call for a loved one that came out of the blue. I had known this person had just left to go back to a certain thing, and was thinking all Thanskgiving how rude and how disappointing I was in the fact I wasn't able to communicate well with this person. And low and behold, here I get a phone call from this person, the least thing I expected from this person. It was a pleasent surprise and we had a great phone converations for 45 min. After I got off the phone I had realized that I was stubborn and that i had just and an amazing converstation with someone that I loved and care for, so why would I EVER think to give up on this person? Why would I be like "fine, you obviously don't want to see me, so I'll just not talk to you either."
That is the wrong attitude to have (obviously)! I was ready to give up on this person. I should never do this, because ultimately, this person probably still loves and cares for me as well, but we just go through things in our lives that make us not want to discuss things with certain people or something like that. I've learned to be more understanding and to just LOVE on people. That is ultimately what this person wanted, I do believe, and I think everyone would.
Even if you think someone isn't loveable or wanting to be loved, they might just call you and throw you for a loop!
And at the end of the converstation, and you say, "I love you _____________" and to hear "I love you too Kelly, keep praying for me!"
Is probably the best thing I could ask for! To know that someone wants me to pray for them and they do love me and care, makes me just know that what I am here on earth for is a vaulable mission! God didn't want me to give up on this dear, and I won't! I've learned that it won't be easy, but that doesn't mean we should give up! God wouldn't give up on us, so why should I give up on others?!
Thank you Jesus so much for the love and understanding you showed me. Thank you for the wonderful phone call I recieved and how you showed me that I am not to give up! I pray for this dear friend of mine, that where this person is going that you show this person LOVE and CARE and YOU!!! May this perosn come across people that will also show this person YOU! May we be able to continue this friendship we've had and may we be able to restore this bond we've always had. Thank you again Jesus, for the love you showed me and may I be able to show this person the same love!
I don't really want to mention the whole story...
but I got a phone call for a loved one that came out of the blue. I had known this person had just left to go back to a certain thing, and was thinking all Thanskgiving how rude and how disappointing I was in the fact I wasn't able to communicate well with this person. And low and behold, here I get a phone call from this person, the least thing I expected from this person. It was a pleasent surprise and we had a great phone converations for 45 min. After I got off the phone I had realized that I was stubborn and that i had just and an amazing converstation with someone that I loved and care for, so why would I EVER think to give up on this person? Why would I be like "fine, you obviously don't want to see me, so I'll just not talk to you either."
That is the wrong attitude to have (obviously)! I was ready to give up on this person. I should never do this, because ultimately, this person probably still loves and cares for me as well, but we just go through things in our lives that make us not want to discuss things with certain people or something like that. I've learned to be more understanding and to just LOVE on people. That is ultimately what this person wanted, I do believe, and I think everyone would.
Even if you think someone isn't loveable or wanting to be loved, they might just call you and throw you for a loop!
And at the end of the converstation, and you say, "I love you _____________" and to hear "I love you too Kelly, keep praying for me!"
Is probably the best thing I could ask for! To know that someone wants me to pray for them and they do love me and care, makes me just know that what I am here on earth for is a vaulable mission! God didn't want me to give up on this dear, and I won't! I've learned that it won't be easy, but that doesn't mean we should give up! God wouldn't give up on us, so why should I give up on others?!
Thank you Jesus so much for the love and understanding you showed me. Thank you for the wonderful phone call I recieved and how you showed me that I am not to give up! I pray for this dear friend of mine, that where this person is going that you show this person LOVE and CARE and YOU!!! May this perosn come across people that will also show this person YOU! May we be able to continue this friendship we've had and may we be able to restore this bond we've always had. Thank you again Jesus, for the love you showed me and may I be able to show this person the same love!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving, should be everyday!
All day today, families and friends are getting together to celebrate "thanks", or as some people say "Turkey Day". Do we really know the meaning behind this day?
In case you didn't know, today is/was Thanksgiving.
More and more as the years go by, I see it as just another day and a great way to get together with family. Yes, don't get me wrong, I'm thankful. But it's one of those holidays where I feel it shouldn't be ONE day out of the year were everyone is like...
"I'm Thankful", "Be thankful today!" or so on so forth.
And if you know me at all, or eventually I will write about this on another certain holiday, I have a very STRONG OPINION about Valentines day too, and it's like that to me more and more every year. I don't mean to be a "grouch" or a party bummer. But sometimes it just really stuns me to think that we have to have a "Holiday" to make us think about this past year and what we are thankful for. I feel we should be thankful every day, because every day is ANOTHER day that God has given us, and even if it wasn't a good day, He is still beside you guiding you to help you through the situation at hand, and that is something to be thankful for in itself.
Now, don't get me wrong, today I'm VERY thankful to be in Wisconsin Rapids at my parents new house that they just moved to from West Salem 3 weeks ago. It's so nice to be with them and my brother & sister in law and their beautiful baby girl Hailey, who wasn't even her last year.
I'm thankful for many other things...
*A great husband who continues to stand by me every day
*A husband who brings food to the table during this fall/winter season
*An adorable puppy dog who is always wagging his tale when he is by us.
*and for O.P.'s (our dog) hunting abilities
*Parents who are healthy and living
*Brothers who have wonderful families and love THIS family
*My inlaws who are always there for us as well and LOVE unconditionally to me.
*A job that I have been at for 3 1/2 years that has grown me into the working adult that I am.
*for another job, that God has provided me with, that I can gain more experience in another field of work.
*for a husband who continues to get work and for safe travel as he has traveled there all year
*for great health in the past year for Ben and I, and all family!
*wonderful friends that God has provided for us to be able to grow and share our lives together.
*Fellowship and Growth at church
How can we possibly say everything we are thankful in ONE DAY???
See what I mean? The list could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on....
All I know, is this a good reminder to me, that I should be thankful everyday for what God has done in my life at that moment and not to save it all for a year later.
Thank you Jesus for a great day to be here and for the time spent with my family. Thank you for showing me today, that this is a day that should be every day, not just today. I thank you for everything you have shown me in my life and everything you continue to show me. Mostly what I am thankful for, is the relationship I have with you! Thank you for always being by myside ALL THE TIME and the comfort you show me and give me.
In case you didn't know, today is/was Thanksgiving.
More and more as the years go by, I see it as just another day and a great way to get together with family. Yes, don't get me wrong, I'm thankful. But it's one of those holidays where I feel it shouldn't be ONE day out of the year were everyone is like...
"I'm Thankful", "Be thankful today!" or so on so forth.
And if you know me at all, or eventually I will write about this on another certain holiday, I have a very STRONG OPINION about Valentines day too, and it's like that to me more and more every year. I don't mean to be a "grouch" or a party bummer. But sometimes it just really stuns me to think that we have to have a "Holiday" to make us think about this past year and what we are thankful for. I feel we should be thankful every day, because every day is ANOTHER day that God has given us, and even if it wasn't a good day, He is still beside you guiding you to help you through the situation at hand, and that is something to be thankful for in itself.
Now, don't get me wrong, today I'm VERY thankful to be in Wisconsin Rapids at my parents new house that they just moved to from West Salem 3 weeks ago. It's so nice to be with them and my brother & sister in law and their beautiful baby girl Hailey, who wasn't even her last year.
I'm thankful for many other things...
*A great husband who continues to stand by me every day
*A husband who brings food to the table during this fall/winter season
*An adorable puppy dog who is always wagging his tale when he is by us.
*and for O.P.'s (our dog) hunting abilities
*Parents who are healthy and living
*Brothers who have wonderful families and love THIS family
*My inlaws who are always there for us as well and LOVE unconditionally to me.
*A job that I have been at for 3 1/2 years that has grown me into the working adult that I am.
*for another job, that God has provided me with, that I can gain more experience in another field of work.
*for a husband who continues to get work and for safe travel as he has traveled there all year
*for great health in the past year for Ben and I, and all family!
*wonderful friends that God has provided for us to be able to grow and share our lives together.
*Fellowship and Growth at church
How can we possibly say everything we are thankful in ONE DAY???
See what I mean? The list could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on....
All I know, is this a good reminder to me, that I should be thankful everyday for what God has done in my life at that moment and not to save it all for a year later.
Thank you Jesus for a great day to be here and for the time spent with my family. Thank you for showing me today, that this is a day that should be every day, not just today. I thank you for everything you have shown me in my life and everything you continue to show me. Mostly what I am thankful for, is the relationship I have with you! Thank you for always being by myside ALL THE TIME and the comfort you show me and give me.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Running Around
I'm not even quite sure what this day has led to. I've picked up on a few things...
The day before thanksgiving is always a crazy time in town, it seems. There are tons of people out at grocery stores and traveling to their holiday destination. I for one, was one of those at the grocery store, not planned that way, I actually try to avoid the grocery store the day before thanksgiving. Ben and I were on our way out of town to travel to Wis. Rapids and we stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items I would need to make a few things for dinner tomorrow.
I knew the store was going to be a zoo, so I prepared for jammed isle and long lines of waiting. Its always funny to see people rushing around at the last minute (myself included) to get their last dressing, veggies and turkey. We know Thanksgiving falls the same every year...but why do we always put it off?! Interesting thought, huh?
Well, God brought a few things to mind to me, and even now while I am typing this?
First off...
I could almost compare this to the Christian life and even non-Christian life.
For Christians, if we know in our heart that Jesus is coming back again, then we should live every day to the fullest that God would want us to. Meaning we should live every day for Him and Him alone. We should do our best to honor God and glorify Him. So many times we wait for something to happen, even stuff we know is coming, to act on living the right life. We know Jesus is coming back again someday, that we don't know when it will be, but we shouldn't be running around on the DAY BEFORE to figure out where our life should be. We should be living each day to how we would want it to be if Jesus were to come NOW or TOMORROW. Obviously we probably won't know until THAT MOMENT, but my point is, we should be living for NOW, not tomorrow. We should be running around at the last minute and trying to figure out what to do with our lives for God then, we should be already living our life for God in our daily walk with Him.
Second...
For non-Christians, it made me realize how many people there are out there that don't know the Lord. And that at the end of time when Jesus does come back, how many of them will be running around at that last minute trying to figure out what went wrong or what they didn't know!! If you ask me, I'd rather get my stuff in order BEFORE hand, which I know I know Jesus. But think of all those that don't, and then think of them running around, like in a grocery store, trying to figure out where they are going and what they are doing and rushing around like they don't know what hit them. That is a lot of grocery stores to think about, people! It makes my heart ache for those that will be running around. I don't like it as it, the day before thanksgiving with a lot of craziness...think about when that happens!!
It makes me realize that we need to do much as fellow Christians to live TODAY for Jesus and to Live today to SAVE those that would be running around. We need to take one day at a time, one hour a time.
Lord Jesus, I ask that you give me BOLD strength to save those that are running around Lord. I pray I can have the right attitude to show them YOU. I ask that you help me take one day at a time and one hour at a time to be able to listen to you for when you show me opportunties to help people. I ask that you do give me opportunities and that I wouldn't let them slip away from me just because "I'm nervous". Lord Jesus, I want to better live for TODAY and not for tomorrow. I want you to be my focus of every day and every hour of my life. Thank you Jesus for the things you continue to show me daily.
And Lord, I also ask that you give me peace tonight, as I'm already anxious for tomorrow with the fear that seems to be grabbing hold of me again as it did the other day. I ask that you give me peace and comfort for tomorrow and that you would guide and protect my dad, brother & husband as they are out hunting. I'm not sure Jesus why I always get anxious in this...but you are greater than this and You will be with them, just as you are with me and comforting me. Lord Jesus, give me peace right now! I ask that tomorrow would be a refreshing day for my family, a time of togetherness and relaxing. I thank you so much that we are all able to be together, thank you for bringing us together.
Thank you Jesus, thank you for the peace and comfort that is neverending!
The day before thanksgiving is always a crazy time in town, it seems. There are tons of people out at grocery stores and traveling to their holiday destination. I for one, was one of those at the grocery store, not planned that way, I actually try to avoid the grocery store the day before thanksgiving. Ben and I were on our way out of town to travel to Wis. Rapids and we stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items I would need to make a few things for dinner tomorrow.
I knew the store was going to be a zoo, so I prepared for jammed isle and long lines of waiting. Its always funny to see people rushing around at the last minute (myself included) to get their last dressing, veggies and turkey. We know Thanksgiving falls the same every year...but why do we always put it off?! Interesting thought, huh?
Well, God brought a few things to mind to me, and even now while I am typing this?
First off...
I could almost compare this to the Christian life and even non-Christian life.
For Christians, if we know in our heart that Jesus is coming back again, then we should live every day to the fullest that God would want us to. Meaning we should live every day for Him and Him alone. We should do our best to honor God and glorify Him. So many times we wait for something to happen, even stuff we know is coming, to act on living the right life. We know Jesus is coming back again someday, that we don't know when it will be, but we shouldn't be running around on the DAY BEFORE to figure out where our life should be. We should be living each day to how we would want it to be if Jesus were to come NOW or TOMORROW. Obviously we probably won't know until THAT MOMENT, but my point is, we should be living for NOW, not tomorrow. We should be running around at the last minute and trying to figure out what to do with our lives for God then, we should be already living our life for God in our daily walk with Him.
Second...
For non-Christians, it made me realize how many people there are out there that don't know the Lord. And that at the end of time when Jesus does come back, how many of them will be running around at that last minute trying to figure out what went wrong or what they didn't know!! If you ask me, I'd rather get my stuff in order BEFORE hand, which I know I know Jesus. But think of all those that don't, and then think of them running around, like in a grocery store, trying to figure out where they are going and what they are doing and rushing around like they don't know what hit them. That is a lot of grocery stores to think about, people! It makes my heart ache for those that will be running around. I don't like it as it, the day before thanksgiving with a lot of craziness...think about when that happens!!
It makes me realize that we need to do much as fellow Christians to live TODAY for Jesus and to Live today to SAVE those that would be running around. We need to take one day at a time, one hour a time.
Lord Jesus, I ask that you give me BOLD strength to save those that are running around Lord. I pray I can have the right attitude to show them YOU. I ask that you help me take one day at a time and one hour at a time to be able to listen to you for when you show me opportunties to help people. I ask that you do give me opportunities and that I wouldn't let them slip away from me just because "I'm nervous". Lord Jesus, I want to better live for TODAY and not for tomorrow. I want you to be my focus of every day and every hour of my life. Thank you Jesus for the things you continue to show me daily.
And Lord, I also ask that you give me peace tonight, as I'm already anxious for tomorrow with the fear that seems to be grabbing hold of me again as it did the other day. I ask that you give me peace and comfort for tomorrow and that you would guide and protect my dad, brother & husband as they are out hunting. I'm not sure Jesus why I always get anxious in this...but you are greater than this and You will be with them, just as you are with me and comforting me. Lord Jesus, give me peace right now! I ask that tomorrow would be a refreshing day for my family, a time of togetherness and relaxing. I thank you so much that we are all able to be together, thank you for bringing us together.
Thank you Jesus, thank you for the peace and comfort that is neverending!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Test
God was teaching me something from the very start today, it started at 6:00am!! My life history and past has proven over and over again how much I FEAR and have lack of trust. Its frustrating to me that I can't seem to grasp what God keeps showing me...or maybe it is that I do, but God TESTS me to see how I am doing? Is that right?
I have always had a "worry" problem in my life...and for some reason, it kicked in HIGH gear this morning. Ben left for work and can in to say goodbye and gave me a hug & kiss before he left. He does this every morning, which I just love. But for some reason this morning something struck inside of me and made me fear...fear what? well...that might just be another long story. Needless to say, I found myself wide awake...and all I could do was break down to God and ask him to help me find the faith to trust in Him to know that God is in control of everything that happens. And that whatever does happen on a day to day basis is all because of God. He has a purpose and plan for EVERY LITTLE thing that goes on. I've found that when I break down to God and talk to Him INSTANTLY when I feel this way...He comforts me in a way I feel so loved and protected!
Surprising enough I ended up falling back asleep for a little bit longer!
So what did God teach me? Well it was a FEW reminders to me that God is always there. I have NO idea what I felt so struck this morning by something, but what I do care about is that I knew God had a reason for it and a reason for me to fall on my knees to Him. I felt the comfort I probably was not feeling in awhile...
I also looked back to one of my blogs I had a few weeks ago. About finding purpose in pain. I still fear that God will teach me something soon about purpose in pain I go through, so maybe this morning the strick I felt was just my fear of that itself and the devil knowing I have that and trying to get at me.
Either way, I know my God is bigger than all my fears...and that He can help me over come them all. And if I do have pain...that God will show me purpose through it.
Lord Jesus, first of all, thank you so much for showing me your comfort today when I felt the weakest. Thank you for giving me the feeling I did because it makes me realize each time that you are here and that I can always turn to you no matter what is going on or time it is...and how amazing you have shown me that you can help me through it. Thank you Jesus! I pray that you would continue to work these fears out with me. I know things don't get fixed completely, but make me aware of the things I need to know and how to realize the fears I have and come to you with them. Thank you for the love and comfort you give. I pray to continue to guide and protect each and everyone of us that no matter what we go through, through pain or through joy, I pray that we would realize that you have a hand IN EVERYTHING...
I have always had a "worry" problem in my life...and for some reason, it kicked in HIGH gear this morning. Ben left for work and can in to say goodbye and gave me a hug & kiss before he left. He does this every morning, which I just love. But for some reason this morning something struck inside of me and made me fear...fear what? well...that might just be another long story. Needless to say, I found myself wide awake...and all I could do was break down to God and ask him to help me find the faith to trust in Him to know that God is in control of everything that happens. And that whatever does happen on a day to day basis is all because of God. He has a purpose and plan for EVERY LITTLE thing that goes on. I've found that when I break down to God and talk to Him INSTANTLY when I feel this way...He comforts me in a way I feel so loved and protected!
Surprising enough I ended up falling back asleep for a little bit longer!
So what did God teach me? Well it was a FEW reminders to me that God is always there. I have NO idea what I felt so struck this morning by something, but what I do care about is that I knew God had a reason for it and a reason for me to fall on my knees to Him. I felt the comfort I probably was not feeling in awhile...
I also looked back to one of my blogs I had a few weeks ago. About finding purpose in pain. I still fear that God will teach me something soon about purpose in pain I go through, so maybe this morning the strick I felt was just my fear of that itself and the devil knowing I have that and trying to get at me.
Either way, I know my God is bigger than all my fears...and that He can help me over come them all. And if I do have pain...that God will show me purpose through it.
Lord Jesus, first of all, thank you so much for showing me your comfort today when I felt the weakest. Thank you for giving me the feeling I did because it makes me realize each time that you are here and that I can always turn to you no matter what is going on or time it is...and how amazing you have shown me that you can help me through it. Thank you Jesus! I pray that you would continue to work these fears out with me. I know things don't get fixed completely, but make me aware of the things I need to know and how to realize the fears I have and come to you with them. Thank you for the love and comfort you give. I pray to continue to guide and protect each and everyone of us that no matter what we go through, through pain or through joy, I pray that we would realize that you have a hand IN EVERYTHING...
Thursday, November 19, 2009
At the Foot of the Cross
At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received
And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart
Now I can
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross
At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death You bore for me
And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart
Now I can
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross
I Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross
And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart
Now I can
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross
I'm laying every burden down
I'm laying every burden down
-Kathryn Scott
This has become one of my absolute favorite songs over this last year! It is a constant reminder to lay every burden down and the Jesus is there with you...
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received
And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart
Now I can
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross
At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death You bore for me
And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart
Now I can
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross
I Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross
And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart
Now I can
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross
I'm laying every burden down
I'm laying every burden down
-Kathryn Scott
This has become one of my absolute favorite songs over this last year! It is a constant reminder to lay every burden down and the Jesus is there with you...
This is Good!
This post goes for yesterday, Wednesday November 18th.
Even though I may be a youth leader on Wednesday nights at the church we attend, I myself can still learn from the lessons we teach the kids. And that I did.
I'll be honest in this, I really didn't want to be at youth last night. I had just gone home for about 45 min before I had to be back for youth and I just didn't want to drive back. Ben had gotten home and I just felt like having dinner with him and going to sleep. Really exciting, right? I felt blah yesterday, the whole day actually, and I know it was because of a few frustrations Ben and I have been facing in the last 4 months probably. So my blah day, just wanted to stay blah at home with Ben, who was also feeling blah.
But I trucked off to Youth...little did I know God would speak to me about the very blah feeling I was having.
This is Good!
Our lesson for the evening was "Knowing Jesus is like Thanksgiving". Lisa talked about the things we take for granted (like toilet paper, or your eye lashes), History of teenaged Pilgrims provides perspective, Positive attitude, and God promises to work things out for our good.
This is Good!
At the end of the lesson, Lisa gave a time when the kids could write down on a sheet of paper a situation or something in their life that seems hopeless or impossible or a struggle. Then the kids took them forward and placed them in a jar, to represent they were giving them completely over to God to carry the burden with us.
This is Good!
Wow, how many times in my life do I just think I can do it on my own!? Um...a million every day! This was an incredible reminder to me that I need to be constantly giving all my situations over to God and having Him help me through it instead of me trying to figure out how this is going to work out!
Give these things to God and TO BE THANKFUL for these cirucumstances at the same time! Can I really do that? Wow, that takes some serious trust in God to know that I can be thankful even when this could be rough. But like Lisa said, be thankful in the little things, and also in the big things. Ben and I struggle with finances because of some car issues we had this summer, but I can now be thankful we do have money and we do have cars to get us places. And even though Ben may not have a job that gets paid well or is what he wants to do and it's not permanent just yet, at least he does have a job at this time in life and I'm VERY greatful to God for that! And in His time, God will provide us with just those things we need...but in the meantime, God is growing us and stretching us...and I am thankful for that!
This is Good!
Even though I may be a youth leader on Wednesday nights at the church we attend, I myself can still learn from the lessons we teach the kids. And that I did.
I'll be honest in this, I really didn't want to be at youth last night. I had just gone home for about 45 min before I had to be back for youth and I just didn't want to drive back. Ben had gotten home and I just felt like having dinner with him and going to sleep. Really exciting, right? I felt blah yesterday, the whole day actually, and I know it was because of a few frustrations Ben and I have been facing in the last 4 months probably. So my blah day, just wanted to stay blah at home with Ben, who was also feeling blah.
But I trucked off to Youth...little did I know God would speak to me about the very blah feeling I was having.
This is Good!
Our lesson for the evening was "Knowing Jesus is like Thanksgiving". Lisa talked about the things we take for granted (like toilet paper, or your eye lashes), History of teenaged Pilgrims provides perspective, Positive attitude, and God promises to work things out for our good.
This is Good!
At the end of the lesson, Lisa gave a time when the kids could write down on a sheet of paper a situation or something in their life that seems hopeless or impossible or a struggle. Then the kids took them forward and placed them in a jar, to represent they were giving them completely over to God to carry the burden with us.
This is Good!
Wow, how many times in my life do I just think I can do it on my own!? Um...a million every day! This was an incredible reminder to me that I need to be constantly giving all my situations over to God and having Him help me through it instead of me trying to figure out how this is going to work out!
Give these things to God and TO BE THANKFUL for these cirucumstances at the same time! Can I really do that? Wow, that takes some serious trust in God to know that I can be thankful even when this could be rough. But like Lisa said, be thankful in the little things, and also in the big things. Ben and I struggle with finances because of some car issues we had this summer, but I can now be thankful we do have money and we do have cars to get us places. And even though Ben may not have a job that gets paid well or is what he wants to do and it's not permanent just yet, at least he does have a job at this time in life and I'm VERY greatful to God for that! And in His time, God will provide us with just those things we need...but in the meantime, God is growing us and stretching us...and I am thankful for that!
This is Good!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Remembering
This post goes for both Sunday & Monday, November 15 & 16.
Sunday's sermon at church talked about Pride. At the end of the message he gave us all a challenge...
To think back to ALL my talents, and then think about who helped you get there to be able to accomplish those talents you have. We were to make a list and then try to thank them this next week. Then also, think about all those things you are good at, and Thank GOD for them.
It was interesting to me, because its so easy to say, "o I don't have any talents!"..and that is exactly what I found myself thinking as he was telling us to do these challenges this week. I'm thinking to myself...I have no talents! I know I am wrong...but I guess I'll put it this way...I have NO OBVIOUS talents, right?! I know...I'm wrong again! Obvious meaning, musically talents (I never was, I tried Piano, but was unsuccessful in that task), I WAS a ballet dancer and a figure skater, but maybe there is a reason I'm still not doing that stuff today...haha (no talent, just the dream!) :) haha
But seriously...this is a real issue for me...because I know I have talents, we all do, but I guess mine just don't seem like the obvious ones (musically talented). These are the things I come up with so far:
*Organized
*administrative skills (as I'm told by some fellow coworkers, who I asked about this)
*attention to details
*baker, not cook, baker!
*drive to work and work well
*somewhat crafty...
*good dresser (again, told by some fellow coworkers, and I said that seemed like I was a shallow person)
Anyways...my struggle with doing this is first of all, I feel the attention is put on me and I'm bragging about myself, which is probably were the pride would come in, right?! And then second, I really just struggle with figuring out what I'm good at. I don't feel there are any obvious things, just every day life things. I know people would go, ooo whatever Kelly, you are talented is o many ways...but to me, I just feel some of that is common sense or just every day life stuff, does that really take talent?!
I know God is working in my life this way, because on the flip side of this...I have ALWAYS wanted to talented at music/singer or as a dancer or something to that matter...I guess something that was obvious...hm...does that mean I'd be prideful in it if I was? Maybe God is showing me I can't handle those things because I'd be prideful. ???
Lord Jesus, what are you showing me right now, as I write this?! Are you revealing things to my heart right now as to how my heart is and how I respond to things? Lord Jesus I ask you to show me these things and be open to accepting what you may show me. I want to be used for you and the talents you did give me. I ask for the knowledge to know I am being used and to know when I can use these talents as well to better serve you and glorify you Jesus. Help me know, to go back through this list and to keep thinking about this and even able to track down how it all started and to thank those who helped contribute to those talents that You Jesus gave me. Thank you for how you created me, as an individual,unique person. Thank you!
Sunday's sermon at church talked about Pride. At the end of the message he gave us all a challenge...
To think back to ALL my talents, and then think about who helped you get there to be able to accomplish those talents you have. We were to make a list and then try to thank them this next week. Then also, think about all those things you are good at, and Thank GOD for them.
It was interesting to me, because its so easy to say, "o I don't have any talents!"..and that is exactly what I found myself thinking as he was telling us to do these challenges this week. I'm thinking to myself...I have no talents! I know I am wrong...but I guess I'll put it this way...I have NO OBVIOUS talents, right?! I know...I'm wrong again! Obvious meaning, musically talents (I never was, I tried Piano, but was unsuccessful in that task), I WAS a ballet dancer and a figure skater, but maybe there is a reason I'm still not doing that stuff today...haha (no talent, just the dream!) :) haha
But seriously...this is a real issue for me...because I know I have talents, we all do, but I guess mine just don't seem like the obvious ones (musically talented). These are the things I come up with so far:
*Organized
*administrative skills (as I'm told by some fellow coworkers, who I asked about this)
*attention to details
*baker, not cook, baker!
*drive to work and work well
*somewhat crafty...
*good dresser (again, told by some fellow coworkers, and I said that seemed like I was a shallow person)
Anyways...my struggle with doing this is first of all, I feel the attention is put on me and I'm bragging about myself, which is probably were the pride would come in, right?! And then second, I really just struggle with figuring out what I'm good at. I don't feel there are any obvious things, just every day life things. I know people would go, ooo whatever Kelly, you are talented is o many ways...but to me, I just feel some of that is common sense or just every day life stuff, does that really take talent?!
I know God is working in my life this way, because on the flip side of this...I have ALWAYS wanted to talented at music/singer or as a dancer or something to that matter...I guess something that was obvious...hm...does that mean I'd be prideful in it if I was? Maybe God is showing me I can't handle those things because I'd be prideful. ???
Lord Jesus, what are you showing me right now, as I write this?! Are you revealing things to my heart right now as to how my heart is and how I respond to things? Lord Jesus I ask you to show me these things and be open to accepting what you may show me. I want to be used for you and the talents you did give me. I ask for the knowledge to know I am being used and to know when I can use these talents as well to better serve you and glorify you Jesus. Help me know, to go back through this list and to keep thinking about this and even able to track down how it all started and to thank those who helped contribute to those talents that You Jesus gave me. Thank you for how you created me, as an individual,unique person. Thank you!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Research
I spent most of my evening tonight researching facts and history on the Green Bay Packers. Here is the scoop: First of all, if you know anything about me, you know that I am a huge football fan and LOVE the Green Bay Packers. I've been a fan since I can remember and how my dad and I would watch any football game together. He taught me everything I know about football, which is some of my greatest memories with my dad. Second of all, reason I was doing research? Well, because it was part of my job this week! Tough work, I tell ya! :) I had to put together trivia in a PowerPoint presentation for tomorrows Packers vs Cowboys game. Church (which is my job also) is having the Packer/Cowboy game held at church if you want to come to watch it on big screens. The trivia and facts I am doing will be put up during commercial breaks.
Thankfully I was able to bring this home and work on it outside of the office. I've had the most fun researching things and learning even so much more about my favorite team! :) There was so much fun and interesting facts and history I didn't even know about.
As I finished up tonight I was thinking about my blog actually. I had a pretty quiet day today and thought, I have nothing to put on here. And lo and behold, God put this into my thoughts! :) I LOVE how He does that!
God showed me tonight, that with all the research I've done and the things I've learned and time invested in just a short time, that I can do the same thing with the Bible. I have always been intimidated by the Bible and how much INFORMATION there is...that it is overwhelming. But wow, when I was on the Green Bay Packers website this week, now that was overwhelming. They have so many facts and stats and history that I seriously started to get a headache from looking at so intensely.
I realized through this, that I need to be investing that same time into the Bible and into knowing Jesus so much more. I want to know the facts and the history behind the Bible and Jesus. Just like with the Packers, I knew some, but when I really looked into it, I realize I didn't know as much as I thought I did!! Same thing with the Bible...I know some, but I KNOW I don't know as much as I should! And even if it feels overwhelming, I still need to get the research done...
Lord Jesus, I ask that you help me get past the intimidation and to find the time and will to sit down and really dive into researching more about you and the Bible. I desire the joy and fascination to have with this as we all do with things in our life that we find appealing. Jesus Thank you for showing me how important it is to know you more and how these devine ways you show us will not be forgotten. I ask also that you continue to show me and guide me to the attention I want to give to You.
Thankfully I was able to bring this home and work on it outside of the office. I've had the most fun researching things and learning even so much more about my favorite team! :) There was so much fun and interesting facts and history I didn't even know about.
As I finished up tonight I was thinking about my blog actually. I had a pretty quiet day today and thought, I have nothing to put on here. And lo and behold, God put this into my thoughts! :) I LOVE how He does that!
God showed me tonight, that with all the research I've done and the things I've learned and time invested in just a short time, that I can do the same thing with the Bible. I have always been intimidated by the Bible and how much INFORMATION there is...that it is overwhelming. But wow, when I was on the Green Bay Packers website this week, now that was overwhelming. They have so many facts and stats and history that I seriously started to get a headache from looking at so intensely.
I realized through this, that I need to be investing that same time into the Bible and into knowing Jesus so much more. I want to know the facts and the history behind the Bible and Jesus. Just like with the Packers, I knew some, but when I really looked into it, I realize I didn't know as much as I thought I did!! Same thing with the Bible...I know some, but I KNOW I don't know as much as I should! And even if it feels overwhelming, I still need to get the research done...
Lord Jesus, I ask that you help me get past the intimidation and to find the time and will to sit down and really dive into researching more about you and the Bible. I desire the joy and fascination to have with this as we all do with things in our life that we find appealing. Jesus Thank you for showing me how important it is to know you more and how these devine ways you show us will not be forgotten. I ask also that you continue to show me and guide me to the attention I want to give to You.
Friday, November 13, 2009
I need Attention!
I was ready to go to bed just a little bit ago, and I decided to sit here and actually POST on the actually night I was suppose. As I was getting my computer up and started, I looked at my puppy dog who was pacing back and forth from the living room to the kitchen just wining and looking at Ben and I....
I had just sat down and Ben had been playing the Xbox (a game) on the TV. As I am waiting to get this up to start typing, I was thinking to myself "hum, what am I going to say tonight?" I had a few things in my head, but didn't really hit me as something I saw God really showing me.
I get my blog up and I realize, huh? I think God is showing me something RIGHT now! O.P. (our lab puppy dog), like I said, had been pacing back and forth, wining at the same time. I asked Ben, "what is wrong with him, what does he want? He just went outside (meaning bathroom)!" Ben was said, "He just wants attention!" Then it hit me...
O.P. was Jesus for that short time for me to realize (well actually O.P has been this way all week!) that we get so focused in what we are doing in life, or in an activity or in anything; that sometimes, or many times, God needs to catch our attention by making it know to us that we need to do something WITH HIM! We need to stop what we are doing and just talk to him or comfort him (or in Jesus case, get to Jesus by being comforted in Him through the Bible). And the neat part to me, He'll keep this up, no matter what you tell him ("lay down O.P."). God will not rest until you listen to Him, He wants to guide you through life, even in the small ways too. I know I tend to forget that.
Lord Jesus, I know there is so much more I need to realize about this situation you place before me tonight in such a short time. I thank you so much for the wonderful evening of fellowship Ben and I had with new people we were able to met. I thank you for what you have shown me through that but also through what you set before me here as I started up my computer. Lord please keep this in my mind as I ponder more on what you have to tell me through this.
I had just sat down and Ben had been playing the Xbox (a game) on the TV. As I am waiting to get this up to start typing, I was thinking to myself "hum, what am I going to say tonight?" I had a few things in my head, but didn't really hit me as something I saw God really showing me.
I get my blog up and I realize, huh? I think God is showing me something RIGHT now! O.P. (our lab puppy dog), like I said, had been pacing back and forth, wining at the same time. I asked Ben, "what is wrong with him, what does he want? He just went outside (meaning bathroom)!" Ben was said, "He just wants attention!" Then it hit me...
O.P. was Jesus for that short time for me to realize (well actually O.P has been this way all week!) that we get so focused in what we are doing in life, or in an activity or in anything; that sometimes, or many times, God needs to catch our attention by making it know to us that we need to do something WITH HIM! We need to stop what we are doing and just talk to him or comfort him (or in Jesus case, get to Jesus by being comforted in Him through the Bible). And the neat part to me, He'll keep this up, no matter what you tell him ("lay down O.P."). God will not rest until you listen to Him, He wants to guide you through life, even in the small ways too. I know I tend to forget that.
Lord Jesus, I know there is so much more I need to realize about this situation you place before me tonight in such a short time. I thank you so much for the wonderful evening of fellowship Ben and I had with new people we were able to met. I thank you for what you have shown me through that but also through what you set before me here as I started up my computer. Lord please keep this in my mind as I ponder more on what you have to tell me through this.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Careful what you say!
Again, this post is actually for Wednesday, Nov. 11th. I need to get better at posting at night, it tends to get taken over by catching up with Ben and resting.
I realized something Wednesday as I was going about my day. There tending to be a trend with things I was noticing through the day in conversations. There was a lot of hush hush type of conversations going on. Why? It always has bothered me when people would talk in front of someone in "code" or something, and I just think to myself..."just tell me to leave already, or excuse yourself from the area!" It bothers me because its obviously information I'm not suppose to know, so then why are you making it known I'm not suppose to know anything?! Make sense yet?
This happened a lot yesterday and I'm still trying to figure out why that is needed or why it is that people do that.
Then I got into a conversation when I was nervous for what I was to say...meaning I really cautious for things I was saying, wondering if it would damage things or if someone would ready too much into what I was saying.
Why have I felt all of a sudden that I must watch everything I say? Is it a good thing or a bad thing that this is going on? Is it purely gossip or what? If it is gossip then that is a total difference. I'm really struggling with this, Jesus. I want to be pure in my conversations and the thoughts of what "is being said in code", to not bother me or hinder things as well. Lord God I ask that you give me clear direction as to know when to step out of conversations and when to know what to say and to have it come only from you and no one else or of human nature.
Then in youth group with my 6th grade girls, I found us on a conversation piece that went TOO far! It was a great conversation to be had, but probably not the best place to be having it at the same time. It just was interesting to me that after an entire day of dealing with conversations that seemed to lead in a direction that wasn't planned, it yet again happened, but with a group of girls you wouldn't expect it to happen with.
I sure think God was telling me things yesterday about the importance of conversations and how it can affect certain situations and people.
This is a growing point for me, I do believe!
I realized something Wednesday as I was going about my day. There tending to be a trend with things I was noticing through the day in conversations. There was a lot of hush hush type of conversations going on. Why? It always has bothered me when people would talk in front of someone in "code" or something, and I just think to myself..."just tell me to leave already, or excuse yourself from the area!" It bothers me because its obviously information I'm not suppose to know, so then why are you making it known I'm not suppose to know anything?! Make sense yet?
This happened a lot yesterday and I'm still trying to figure out why that is needed or why it is that people do that.
Then I got into a conversation when I was nervous for what I was to say...meaning I really cautious for things I was saying, wondering if it would damage things or if someone would ready too much into what I was saying.
Why have I felt all of a sudden that I must watch everything I say? Is it a good thing or a bad thing that this is going on? Is it purely gossip or what? If it is gossip then that is a total difference. I'm really struggling with this, Jesus. I want to be pure in my conversations and the thoughts of what "is being said in code", to not bother me or hinder things as well. Lord God I ask that you give me clear direction as to know when to step out of conversations and when to know what to say and to have it come only from you and no one else or of human nature.
Then in youth group with my 6th grade girls, I found us on a conversation piece that went TOO far! It was a great conversation to be had, but probably not the best place to be having it at the same time. It just was interesting to me that after an entire day of dealing with conversations that seemed to lead in a direction that wasn't planned, it yet again happened, but with a group of girls you wouldn't expect it to happen with.
I sure think God was telling me things yesterday about the importance of conversations and how it can affect certain situations and people.
This is a growing point for me, I do believe!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Purpose in Pain
I didn't have time to post this last night, so this is for Tuesday, actually.
I read a devotional yesterday that was called Finding Purpose in Pain. It used the verse...
"But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren." Deuteronomy 4:9
Often it is during times of prosperity that we will forget God. Prosperity has a tendency to make people proud and self sufficient. We don't think we need God when we have our salary and our investments and our career and our home and our health and our family. But when the economy goes south or a stock market crashed or a home burns down, then hopefully we turn to God and are reminded of what really matters. Adversity levels us and keeps us humble.
Why is it that whenever pain hits, when tragedy strikes, we pray - we pray a lot! I know pain reminds us of a deeper need: the need for God in our lives.
This all struck me yesterday for MANY reason: first of all, I had a great conversation with a dear friend who is currently going through a divorce. She has been on a roller coaster ride for the past 9 or 10 months with this whole ordeal. I look at her and I am amazed at the faith and love of God SHE STILL carries with her. Many times we could find people giving up on the hope of God to bring them through this pain of suffering. She looks the other way, she has continually looked to God for guidance and has never stopped praying daily, that God would somehow bring her and her 2 children through this pain they are feeling.
Then...I see on TV and on the Internet about the horrible tragedy that took place last Thursday with the shooting at Fort Hood with the soldiers. Today, Tuesday actually, they had the memorial for it and I was able to see parts of it through the Internet. It just brought pain to me to see the horrible things that can happen, when we think we are safe! Yeah, it made me worry for my life and for the ones I love. Are we ever really safe?
So then I think to myself? I feel VERY blessed today! I have no family things going on that are tragedy, like a divorce or disease or death. All I have going on is my parents moving away, but that isn't even that bad when I think about the other things I could be facing. Ben and I have a great marriage of only 1 year and 3 months, but we are happy. Sure our finances could be better, but so could every body else. God is still providing with food each day and a place to stay, as well as a few treats every so often. We both have jobs! And right now in this world, that is a HUGE blessing, if you ask me.
Whats the point of me writing this? Well, it's more for me to see that I am blessed and that even when things are going well, I need to be talking and praising God for those things. Now, on the other side, it makes me wonder what God has in store sometimes. I can't imagine going through some things that people I know are going through. Is there something coming up that God is preparing me for? Or is it just simply that God is showing me daily we need to be trusting God and looking to Him in EVERYTHING?
Well, I think it is just that, I think God is showing me how no matter what you might be facing, God has a purpose in the pain and also a purpose in the joy!
I read a devotional yesterday that was called Finding Purpose in Pain. It used the verse...
"But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren." Deuteronomy 4:9
Often it is during times of prosperity that we will forget God. Prosperity has a tendency to make people proud and self sufficient. We don't think we need God when we have our salary and our investments and our career and our home and our health and our family. But when the economy goes south or a stock market crashed or a home burns down, then hopefully we turn to God and are reminded of what really matters. Adversity levels us and keeps us humble.
Why is it that whenever pain hits, when tragedy strikes, we pray - we pray a lot! I know pain reminds us of a deeper need: the need for God in our lives.
This all struck me yesterday for MANY reason: first of all, I had a great conversation with a dear friend who is currently going through a divorce. She has been on a roller coaster ride for the past 9 or 10 months with this whole ordeal. I look at her and I am amazed at the faith and love of God SHE STILL carries with her. Many times we could find people giving up on the hope of God to bring them through this pain of suffering. She looks the other way, she has continually looked to God for guidance and has never stopped praying daily, that God would somehow bring her and her 2 children through this pain they are feeling.
Then...I see on TV and on the Internet about the horrible tragedy that took place last Thursday with the shooting at Fort Hood with the soldiers. Today, Tuesday actually, they had the memorial for it and I was able to see parts of it through the Internet. It just brought pain to me to see the horrible things that can happen, when we think we are safe! Yeah, it made me worry for my life and for the ones I love. Are we ever really safe?
So then I think to myself? I feel VERY blessed today! I have no family things going on that are tragedy, like a divorce or disease or death. All I have going on is my parents moving away, but that isn't even that bad when I think about the other things I could be facing. Ben and I have a great marriage of only 1 year and 3 months, but we are happy. Sure our finances could be better, but so could every body else. God is still providing with food each day and a place to stay, as well as a few treats every so often. We both have jobs! And right now in this world, that is a HUGE blessing, if you ask me.
Whats the point of me writing this? Well, it's more for me to see that I am blessed and that even when things are going well, I need to be talking and praising God for those things. Now, on the other side, it makes me wonder what God has in store sometimes. I can't imagine going through some things that people I know are going through. Is there something coming up that God is preparing me for? Or is it just simply that God is showing me daily we need to be trusting God and looking to Him in EVERYTHING?
Well, I think it is just that, I think God is showing me how no matter what you might be facing, God has a purpose in the pain and also a purpose in the joy!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Confidence
I got a boost of confidence today and it was only because of God that it happened. I have been nervous for this day for about a couple of months now, not really dreading it, but just nervous for it. Today was my first day ALL BY MYSELF at my job at the eye clinic. I have been there since August and been working along side Sandy, the full time Optician at the clinic. She is on vacation this week. I knew I would be all by myself, since like September and was always scared for this day to arrive.
Before I went to work I prayed to God to give me the confidence to know the things I needed to know in this job for tonight. I knew I could do it, but I was nervous I'd freak out and the Dr. would realize I'm not too smart when I'm not by myself, or that I'd realize myself that I am really struggling or that this job really wasn't what I should be doing. I knew God was going to show me something through tonight, and He sure did!!
Praying before anything, has proven over and over again that it truly helps in ALL situations! I went in 2 hours earlier than I normally do and the Dr. and I were able to sit down and chat about something before the evening appointments started. I was honest with him about some of my feelings and I was so impressed with how he explained some things to me and took time to really chat with me about my concerns and frustrations. (I told him I was nervous for this day, so that is what we talked about).
I started off just doing daily things, but then I had some time before exams started to get some random things done. I was very amazed at myself of the things that I remembered from what Sandy has briefly showed me over the course of a few months. (I only work one day a week, so it's kind of hard to get things once a week!).
I was able to do all the computer work and exam visits in the computer with little to NO problems at all! I didn't think I'd even be able to put in a visit, actually, and I did ALL OF THEM! I even did dictations today, that I just started doing once before this...(they aren't very easy...lots of terminology of the eye and such and listening to the Dr. in his language and trying to type it down as you listen. I did SEVEN of them tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was on a role and really enjoying tonight. When we closed up for the night, I told the Dr. I had some dictations on the screen he could check over later and he asked how many I did, and I looked and I'm like, "I did 7!" (saying it like I was shocking myself, because I was!). He just said, "7! And you did all the normal stuff in between patients and helping others?!??!"....he couldn't believe it...and well neither could I! I had no doubt in my mind all this possible because of God! I could have never done this if I would have never ask God to help me through the night to know that this job was where I was suppose to be. I feel confident only because God just gave me the confidence tonight! Now I know this job is possible for me to do and now I feel God will help me in anything I can do, even in the littlest of things...we always seem to forget that in daily life and I was reminded of it once again today!
Thank you Jesus for the confidence and grace you gave me today.
Before I went to work I prayed to God to give me the confidence to know the things I needed to know in this job for tonight. I knew I could do it, but I was nervous I'd freak out and the Dr. would realize I'm not too smart when I'm not by myself, or that I'd realize myself that I am really struggling or that this job really wasn't what I should be doing. I knew God was going to show me something through tonight, and He sure did!!
Praying before anything, has proven over and over again that it truly helps in ALL situations! I went in 2 hours earlier than I normally do and the Dr. and I were able to sit down and chat about something before the evening appointments started. I was honest with him about some of my feelings and I was so impressed with how he explained some things to me and took time to really chat with me about my concerns and frustrations. (I told him I was nervous for this day, so that is what we talked about).
I started off just doing daily things, but then I had some time before exams started to get some random things done. I was very amazed at myself of the things that I remembered from what Sandy has briefly showed me over the course of a few months. (I only work one day a week, so it's kind of hard to get things once a week!).
I was able to do all the computer work and exam visits in the computer with little to NO problems at all! I didn't think I'd even be able to put in a visit, actually, and I did ALL OF THEM! I even did dictations today, that I just started doing once before this...(they aren't very easy...lots of terminology of the eye and such and listening to the Dr. in his language and trying to type it down as you listen. I did SEVEN of them tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was on a role and really enjoying tonight. When we closed up for the night, I told the Dr. I had some dictations on the screen he could check over later and he asked how many I did, and I looked and I'm like, "I did 7!" (saying it like I was shocking myself, because I was!). He just said, "7! And you did all the normal stuff in between patients and helping others?!??!"....he couldn't believe it...and well neither could I! I had no doubt in my mind all this possible because of God! I could have never done this if I would have never ask God to help me through the night to know that this job was where I was suppose to be. I feel confident only because God just gave me the confidence tonight! Now I know this job is possible for me to do and now I feel God will help me in anything I can do, even in the littlest of things...we always seem to forget that in daily life and I was reminded of it once again today!
Thank you Jesus for the confidence and grace you gave me today.
whirlwind weekend?
I guess this was a bad week/weekend to start this blog...no Internet access since Friday. I was unable to post on here every night like I had said I wanted to. I thought about it a lot and was kicking myself for not being able to do what I was devoting myself to do...especially after JUST starting.
There were a lot of things God showed me this weekend. I guess I'll sum up the last few days/weekend all in one post, this time.
I was shown a lot of love when I felt lonely and I was shown strength when I felt weak. This weekend I went to Wisconsin Rapids to help my parents move into their new house. I had known for a week that they were closing on Friday and I knew right away that I wanted to go to Rapids and help them out. I had no idea what Ben was going to do, I just knew I really wanted to go and help. Needless to say, this weekend I spent by myself with my parents in Rapids. Now, I wasn't BY MYSELF, I was with people, but I was alone from my husband, and it wasn't something I was too excited about. It's something I always seem to struggle with...being alone. No one likes to be alone, right? Well I don't anyways. Again, I was with my parents and I stayed with them, but I was alone from my husband.
For me it's always been a struggle to let go of something...or to be alone. I find myself always needing to fill a void, almost like. I've learned a lot about this in the past year from a great mentor that I have. I've grown to realize a lot about myself through this person. I'm DEFINITELY aware of when I am doing things now days...and this weekend, I was definitely aware that my alone feeling was WRONG. You see, because when I feel alone, I really am not. God is always with me and HE is the one I should always be turning to and filling the VOID with. So many times I find myself filling my alone filling with people or things. Is that right? I don't think so. Because God should already be the person that you put your full trust in, He should be the one that comforts you when you feel sad, or is there for you when you succeed. You should always be going to God in EVERYTHING...not just when you need him or when you are down. What I'm trying to say is...I was very well aware this weekend that I was doing just that...I was feeling lost and I turned to God...but yet, at my happy times in life, I tend to forget to thank God for what just happened or talking to Him about it.
So this weekend, I found myself sad and down, because I really wanted Ben to be with me this weekend and he wasn't. I felt like I had no one to talk to or be comforted by. Well, it didn't take long for me to realize this...so as I lay awake at my empty parents house with just a few things in their home, I lay awake in the middle of the night with tears of asking for forgiveness that I always tend to go this way in my life! I STILL don't get it...as to why our human nature can't grasp the fact that God is ALWAYS going to be there and that we NEED to TRUST Him that everything else in your life is going to be OK and that He will take care of you.
Then...when I felt weak in this situation, I soon felt a burst of energy to get through the weekend by taking advantage of the amazing time I was having with my parents and helping them move. There were times I felt like just going home so I could be by myself (ironically!), but then I thought, why am I sulking in the fact that I feel alone, when I'm not really.? I had this amazing amount of energy this weekend, when I should have felt exhausted!!! (not only physically, but mentally).
I'm still at a lost from this weekend. I don't know if I'll ever solve this problem I have with feeling alone and knowing God is truly there. I think it comes with maturity in Christ and me giving myself daily over to Him (which is also part of the reason I wanted to do this blog too).
God, I ask you now, show me more from this weekend...show me why it is that I get this way and show me your love and your comfort daily. I desire so much to be wrapped in your arms and to be content with JUST THAT!! Thank you Jesus for the strength you have given me to this day.
There were a lot of things God showed me this weekend. I guess I'll sum up the last few days/weekend all in one post, this time.
I was shown a lot of love when I felt lonely and I was shown strength when I felt weak. This weekend I went to Wisconsin Rapids to help my parents move into their new house. I had known for a week that they were closing on Friday and I knew right away that I wanted to go to Rapids and help them out. I had no idea what Ben was going to do, I just knew I really wanted to go and help. Needless to say, this weekend I spent by myself with my parents in Rapids. Now, I wasn't BY MYSELF, I was with people, but I was alone from my husband, and it wasn't something I was too excited about. It's something I always seem to struggle with...being alone. No one likes to be alone, right? Well I don't anyways. Again, I was with my parents and I stayed with them, but I was alone from my husband.
For me it's always been a struggle to let go of something...or to be alone. I find myself always needing to fill a void, almost like. I've learned a lot about this in the past year from a great mentor that I have. I've grown to realize a lot about myself through this person. I'm DEFINITELY aware of when I am doing things now days...and this weekend, I was definitely aware that my alone feeling was WRONG. You see, because when I feel alone, I really am not. God is always with me and HE is the one I should always be turning to and filling the VOID with. So many times I find myself filling my alone filling with people or things. Is that right? I don't think so. Because God should already be the person that you put your full trust in, He should be the one that comforts you when you feel sad, or is there for you when you succeed. You should always be going to God in EVERYTHING...not just when you need him or when you are down. What I'm trying to say is...I was very well aware this weekend that I was doing just that...I was feeling lost and I turned to God...but yet, at my happy times in life, I tend to forget to thank God for what just happened or talking to Him about it.
So this weekend, I found myself sad and down, because I really wanted Ben to be with me this weekend and he wasn't. I felt like I had no one to talk to or be comforted by. Well, it didn't take long for me to realize this...so as I lay awake at my empty parents house with just a few things in their home, I lay awake in the middle of the night with tears of asking for forgiveness that I always tend to go this way in my life! I STILL don't get it...as to why our human nature can't grasp the fact that God is ALWAYS going to be there and that we NEED to TRUST Him that everything else in your life is going to be OK and that He will take care of you.
Then...when I felt weak in this situation, I soon felt a burst of energy to get through the weekend by taking advantage of the amazing time I was having with my parents and helping them move. There were times I felt like just going home so I could be by myself (ironically!), but then I thought, why am I sulking in the fact that I feel alone, when I'm not really.? I had this amazing amount of energy this weekend, when I should have felt exhausted!!! (not only physically, but mentally).
I'm still at a lost from this weekend. I don't know if I'll ever solve this problem I have with feeling alone and knowing God is truly there. I think it comes with maturity in Christ and me giving myself daily over to Him (which is also part of the reason I wanted to do this blog too).
God, I ask you now, show me more from this weekend...show me why it is that I get this way and show me your love and your comfort daily. I desire so much to be wrapped in your arms and to be content with JUST THAT!! Thank you Jesus for the strength you have given me to this day.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Footprints
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. Lord you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
This is a famous poem, and I've seen multiple variations of this, by other authors. This one is by Carolyn Carty, 1963.
I start of this blog with Footprints, because not only is God refining me, but He is also carrying me through those times of being refined. There are many things that God places on my heart through a given day. I am disappointed in myself that I don't write things down or talk to someone about it. I decided this week that I would start a blog on it, as my way of doing a journal. I've always been bad at this in the past, with keeping journals...but this time, it's done on a computer, so maybe that is the trick...we'll see. But I want this to be a place that I can come to every day to share what God was teaching me that day or showed me or had me deal with. There is SOMETHING every day that God CAN teach us...my prayer is that there WILL BE something everyday that I KEEP my EYES & EARS open to God showing me those things.
Jesus, you are with me every step of this journey in my life. I ask that you show me ways to be open to what you have to bring on my heart. I do pray that this can be a reflective time for me to see what you are doing in my life and to use it for your glory.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. Lord you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
This is a famous poem, and I've seen multiple variations of this, by other authors. This one is by Carolyn Carty, 1963.
I start of this blog with Footprints, because not only is God refining me, but He is also carrying me through those times of being refined. There are many things that God places on my heart through a given day. I am disappointed in myself that I don't write things down or talk to someone about it. I decided this week that I would start a blog on it, as my way of doing a journal. I've always been bad at this in the past, with keeping journals...but this time, it's done on a computer, so maybe that is the trick...we'll see. But I want this to be a place that I can come to every day to share what God was teaching me that day or showed me or had me deal with. There is SOMETHING every day that God CAN teach us...my prayer is that there WILL BE something everyday that I KEEP my EYES & EARS open to God showing me those things.
Jesus, you are with me every step of this journey in my life. I ask that you show me ways to be open to what you have to bring on my heart. I do pray that this can be a reflective time for me to see what you are doing in my life and to use it for your glory.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)