Mute

God showed me some last night as I laid in bed frustrated. There was a reason I was frustrated, but as soon as I prayed about the situation I was dealing with, God had me realize that the same thing I was frustrated with, was the same thing I (we) do to HIM. I wept in the thought of the frustration and pain God goes through with us! How could I be so selfish to want something resolved, when I am just as guilty of a person for doing this to someone else (God, himself).

Sometimes I feel like my husband and I live in different houses together. Ever hear that saying? :) ha...
Well, it's not as terrible as it might sound. My husband is a rather quiet soul. He has few words. I've grown to learn how my husband is and how to understand his silent ways, but sometimes when you NEED that someone to say something, when you need it most, you'd like it, and you just aren't getting it. Well, that was me the past couple of days, yes DAYS. I finally gave up and thought fine, you don't talk to me, i won't talk to you! Terrible!!!!!!!! I know!!!!

And that is where I started this story, with then going to bed last night thinking, ah, really? And now today (Monday), we go a WHOLE day without seeing each other and even speaking a single word to each other (or if you count text, speaking, then we did that way. But even that was minimal). But like I said, as soon as I laid in bed frustrated with what to do and giving it all up God to help change my attitude with this whole thing, God immediately had me thinking of how it is like when we don't talk to God for hours or DAYS or in some cases, WEEKS or MONTHS. I wept! I can't stand that this is going on with me with someone I live with for just A DAY...I can't imagine the patients and the sorrow God feels when we ignore Him and don't talk to Him.

I feel terrible, but I feel so wonderful to know what God must go through and THEN SOME. I can't imagine. But at the same time, He is so quick to forgive and move on. Me, not so much, I'm still holding this in so tight.

I ask for forgiveness Lord Jesus...I am so sorry I forget you and don't talk to you about every day life things like you want to hear...JUST like I want to hear them as well. I thank you so much for showing me this last night and having me realize how important communication not only is in a marriage, but in our relationship as well! You are my bridegroom and I need to be doing more communicating with you than I do with anyone else!
Lord Jesus I ask that you give me the ways and understanding on how to do this more often and daily with you. That it becomes more of a natural thing than a "o, I better do this...".
I am so blessed to have you in my Life Lord Jesus...I want to keep our relationship strong and beautiful! Thank you for what you daily show me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is Well...

...is an easy thing to say...but is it really "well" with you?

When peace...
When sorrow...
Whatever happens.

It is Well, through the storm, I am held.
It is well with my soul.

Though Satan..
Though trials...
will come, Christ shed His blood.

IT IS WELL...is something I am praying for lately. I finally downloaded THIS song, It Is Well by Todd Fields, off of iTunes a few days ago. I've had it on my list to buy for like 6 months. The timing of it couldn't be better.
Last night, after putting it on my ipod, I finally was able to listen to this song while I did my work out. It was one of the best work outs I've had in months and one of the toughest I've mentally fought through...because of THIS song.

I was running at the time this song played. My run was absolutely amazing to begin with and it just got better listening to it. It hit me while listening to this song that no matter what I am struggling with, which seems to be a few things lately, God is going to be there and not only that, but it is going to be OK.

I've been praying lately for me to have an OK attitude with certain things going on in life right now. I don't want share specifics, so i know this is pretty general and vague. But God is answering my prayers little at a time with my attitude of "being OK". I almost broke out into tears as I was running. I felt like jumping off the treadmill and falling to my knees to Jesus. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord! It will be Well, and it will be well with my soul of what you have in my life.

I am still praying and asking people to pray for me for me to have an OK attitude and a heart of understanding with what the Lord planning out for our lives. He is always working and changing things in your life, are you going to be well with what God has planned out for you, through the storms, through the sorrow, through the peace?
I want to be well and be able to say "OK God!"