Time will Tell

So I started writing this one last week, on Friday, March 30. Never finished it because of a crazy weekend!

Today, Friday, March 30, marks 1 year of our move to the Northwoods! I think back to what a year was and I'm blown away by what God has done and show BOTH of us. This post isn't going to be anything really inspirational, just inspirational for me and what God has done in a years time...and I like to say, that ONLY time WILL tell...and I'm starting to realize that more and more in life. Life isn't about a quick fix...nothing is a quick fix these days. You need TIME to heal, TIME to grow, and TIME to LET GOD WORK!

• 1 year ago, we left our comfortable duplex and nice neighborhood
• For a place that was TINY and (at first) seemed like a sketchy neighborhood
• We left our friendships that we have developed over the course of 8 years, and many that developed since we had gotten married
• For NO ONE, at least for a long time (it would seem)
• I left a job that I had for 5 years that I grew into and absolutely loved and took pride it what gifts God was giving me through this job!
• For absolutely NO JOB! and no prospects even in sight!
• A church that we loved, grew in and developed our relationship in and through.
• And traded that in for a small, quiet Northwoods church.
• We left the conveniences of life, the simplest of grocery shopping (we love Festival Foods), every day shopping, and many more that we would soon realize.
• For 2 MAIN stores, Walmart and Trigs. Both OK, but NOT what we have been use to.
• We left NOT knowing what sticker shock would soon feel like (prices in La Crosse area, are cheaper)
• For sticker shock the first couple nights we went to the grocery store!!! YIKES!
• A fitness place I grew into and really enjoyed who and what I was working out with.
• For the same place of fitness facility, but run down, and with equipment that was foreign to me and NOT updated whatsoever! And with NO ONE to push me at workout!
• The simplicity of doing laundry AT HOME.
• For our washer and dryer to NOT even CLOSE fit downstairs at our tiny house and to have our washer hooked up in our kitchen with the extra tubing going down the stairs and hooked up (worked for a few months aways) and had the clothes drying outside...and NOW to do laundry at the MAT every week for 2 hours.

I traded all of that, and this is what I gained~

• Rest. Time of refreshing during the months I searched for a job.
• God showed me "Enjoy this Time" and what it meant! (something He showed me in the first month we moved here).
• God showed me an appreciation for the Northwoods, for the nature that exists up here!
• The beautiful Spring
• The MANY Lakes
• The beautiful Rivers
• The amazing amounts of State and County Land that exists for everyone to enjoy!
• The interesting amounts of wildlife (my favorite...moose!), but I've gotta say, seeing bears in person, really a weird feeling and just neat!
• A wonderful neighborhood that has been a joy to walk our dog and going running to the park (that is only 3/4 mile away).
• A church that focuses on "Transforming Lives" and has welcomed us many times over from day one of stepping into that church.
• Men's Bible Study for my husband that has been very encouraging to him
• Accountability Men's groups for my husband that has challenged him and how I've seen him grow ridiculous amounts in only a short amount of time.
• A job that gave me my first "friends" in the Northwoods and has shown me my strengths and weaknesses with management. But has also given me the CHANCE to learn this!
• Another job that allowed me to meet more people and friends and the community better.
• And a job at a church (the one we attend) that has made me feel like "home" and gave me the opportunity all over again to use the gifts God has given me.
• Friends through our church that have reached out to us, encouraged us and want to know us!
• A fitness facility that I've LEARNED to like and now, have established great workout partners that have pushed me more in my workouts than ever before.
• The time at the Laundry Mat to read, to plan meals and THINK. (A hard one for me to admit that spending 2 hours at the laundry mat is actually a blessing).
• A deeper connection with husband than we've ever had before (because all we had for the first 4 months, was each other!)
• I've learned how to plan out meals (during those months of no job and time at the laundry mat) and how to shop WISELY in this crazy sticker shock I've had.
• A Pastor, and fellow co-worker, who has taught me so much about how to handle situations and how God views things about me. He has shown me more about self-worth than anyone I've known.
• The joy of true "winter" in the North
• The fun looking for a house...which turns to struggles, but through that, have learned so much about what God is showing both of us!
• A job my husband loves, appreciates and is growing so much in! He has really find his passion and love with this job and is able to USE it fully! He is HAPPY!
• And most importantly...a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ because these gains wouldn't have existed if I didn't put my trust in Jesus Christ each day we've had knowing that He will see us through it all. And that HE HAS and STILL IS!

I feel blessed to have moved and for how God has worked in our lives during this year! I'm in tears thinking about a year ago and how much pain I felt that day we pulled out with the Uhaul truck and then that first night in our new place. The tears aren't because it makes me sad again, its tears because of what we've gone through in the year and what we've gained because of it!!! How did we get so blessed to learn all of this and realize all of this stuff?!

Thank you SO MUCH Lord Jesus for bring us to where we are. Thank you for the pain I felt, for the loneliness, because in that loneliness, I had you! You are all I needed and that is exactly what you were showing me! Thank you! Thank you for a job my husband LOVES! thank you for providing us each and every day with what we've needed! I pray that you continue to show us and guide us on this adventure. For an adventure doesn't stop at 1 year, it continues. So i pray that even though we've hit that milestone of a year...it continues on in all that things you are doing in our lives!

I praise you Lord Jesus for this time!

You Can't Do It Alone

Short and sweet...
You just simply can't do life alone without God in your life! I've always know this, but actually living it is different. Why?
Well, let me ask you this...
Do you include Him (meaning God Himself) in your daily life? And I don't mean just that you think about God and somewhat act in a "Christian" way.
But do you ACTUALLY include Him in your daily life? Do you talk to Him about your joys, about your struggles, about your nerves, about your frustrations, about your excitement?
Do you?
I know I don't!
A lot of times I think people think that because they are "A Believer" or "A Christian", then yeah, duh, God is with me all the time. Yeah, He is, but do you actually ACT like it?
Take for example.
My husband...he is apart of my life, I wake up with him, I go to sleep with him, I converse with him over email or through the phone through the day, and on good days, we get to have dinner together. And then at night, we get to relax together, share how our day was, and go to bed.
Your relationship with God Himself, so be NO different, in fact, it should be MORE.
I go to my husband for almost everything!!! Even the silliest of things that he probably thinks I'm a weirdo for. But you know why I do? Because I want to share my weirdo life with my husband...whether he likes it or not! God is the same way. He wants to know if you had an awesome time having lunch with someone that day. He wants to know that you struggled during an activity. He wants to hear the excitement when you accomplished a goal. He wants to know your frustration you had at work that day. Yeah, He knows all, but are you actually talking with Him about it?
It would be like me and my husband...he is always there...but if I don't INCLUDE him in what is going on in my life, what is the point of this relationship anyways? To run to him when I've finally fallen apart and need him. No, that isn't how a marriage works and neither does your relationship with Jesus Christ!
You still need to include Him in your DAILY life!
If you give ALL to Jesus Christ and let Him take care of your joys, struggles, frustrations, worries, anxieties, and so on...life would be so much easier. But you need to give it to Him and let him carry the burden for you. I know a lot of times when I talk with my husband about things, all of a sudden I feel like he is there and carrying that weight with me...IMAGINE if we did that with everything and took it to God as well! Wehew!
That's what I say, WHEW!

O Lord Jesus, help me to include you in my everyday. Why is it so hard for us to do that? I keep thinking, I include my husband in most everything, why is it so hard for me to not turn to with everything as well? I pray that I can turn to you with my joys, my excitement, my frustrations, my concerns, my anxieties, and o SO much more!
I thank you, that you are always there...I just want to turn to you more Lord.

Outreach

Here is something that bothered me last night. I meant to write this on here last night, but didn't get home till later and by the time I was home, I was exhausted from another long day.

I guess you could call it a pet-peeve of mine with "religion". And I don't even like to use the word "religion" because I don't feel I have a religion, I have a relationship. But most see it as what religion you are or what not. So I'll just use that word. So here is my pet-peeve.

Outreach. What does that mean? And how is suppose to do it? I have many thoughts about this area, probably not what most would agree with, and I'm OK with that. Because what I believe, is in my heart, and I know that God has given me this passion on outreach.

Outreach to me, means reaching out to those in need. Now when I say "in need" I don't mean those that are homeless on the streets. Sure, that is part of it, but to people who have struggles with finances, with relationships, with housing, with medical problems. So on. My heart has been called to "outreach" to those people, to seek them out and build a relationship with these people, maybe be people I know very well, or it may be people I met only once. It might be my neighbor, it might be someone far far away. Either way, I feel it my heart to outreach.
But here is my pet-peeve...why WAIT to outreach to someone. Meaning, so many times people think that the CHURCH need to outreach to people. Why? Who says the church has to do anything? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO DO IT?! Why do we have to wait for the church to create a "program" so that we can then outreach. I'm sorry, but nothing is stopping me from outreaching to those that I feel called to outreach to. If you have kids in your neighborhood that you want to "outreach to", DO IT? Why wait until there is something called "VBS" at your local church in the summer to go do it? If you have a neighbor who you just found out was a Buddhist, why wait for the church to come up with something to outreach to Buddhist, NO, you outreach to them on your own. The church does play a role in this, YES! To me, that is EQUIPPING YOU! The church is there for you to equip you and give you the knowledge so that when you HAVE those opportunities to "outreach" you do it!
Outreach is an EVERYDAY thing, not just an "event". I feel outreach is to my co-workers in the secular world. It's to the lady at subway who makes my sandwich every time I go in (who now has it memorized what I get and starts making it as soon as I walk in the door). :) see... RIGHT THERE...I'm BUILDING a relationship with this and when God gives the right time, I simple outreach to that person in normal every day life!
I struggle so much with this one, because I just don't understand why people have to wait for the church to do things. JUST DO IT. No where in the Bible (to my knowledge) does it say that "the church", "the church", "the church" does this or this...YOU ARE THE CHURCH...so do it!
If you have a neighbor or a friend who needs help because they are laid up or without work, o goodness, yeah, it's nice to come to the church to ask what to do...but why EXPECT the church to do something? Aren't you apart of the church? I sure hope so, so than wouldn't that be YOU doing something? If you can't do it all to help this person, bring along your other church friends and do it together...that right there is an INCREDIBLE OUTREACH!

The church isn't stopping you from doing anything...you are stopping yourself!
Ask God where you can be used, and HE WILL show you. Please don't wait for an event or activity to then find that as a way to outreach...those are just tools to help you. Don't use it as the ONLY way!

O Lord Jesus, this is heavy on my heart today. I feel like crying out and asking why so many people live in a way that is in a box and stuck on what they desire, but don't look to what they can do. I know their intentions are there, but Lord, I just pray that these people can see YOU in all areas, not just in programs. I don't like that people get frustrated with "the church" not doing anything, but are they doing anything to help that? I hate that I feel they are using the church as a crutch, or an excuse for them not doing anything! I pray people would just do it...I pray that you would work in peoples lives to see it as an everyday ministry! Lord, take this weight I feel about this and just carry it for me. thank you for what you've laid on my heart and I thank you for giving me the heart to help people. I pray that you continue to show me ways in which I can be used, big or small. It's a scary thing, but I'm so excited for what you can do through me! Ah Lord, take this weight.

Common word: Trust

A lot of things I've been reading or coming across lately has one common word: TRUST

Um...you think God is trying to tell me something, perhaps! :)

I have a verse of the day that always pops up in my email, and today I opened my email and I read this:

Jeremiah 17:7-8
"But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.";


I smile!

Another neat thing...I've been reading a book I received when I was probably 6. I don't know, I just remember be small, and my best friend at the time had given it to me. I remember my mom reading stories to my brother and I out of it when I had first gotten it. I have kept this book all my life, this book of Bible stories. I don't know, as a kid, if I ever read all of them. My guess is NOT. My husband laughs at me and gives me grief about how I keep things and hold onto things. If you look at our bookshelves right now, you will see that half of the books on there are from my childhood. Why? Well, one reason is I didn't want them boxed up, getting musty and moldy in our current housing situation. But you know, since I have had them out and on the bookshelves, I've probably picked up about 4-6 of them and read them! Who says you have to be a kid to read these?
And that brings me back to this book. I have 2 children's Bible Story books that I have on my bookshelf and they have been starring at me for a few months now. There have been a few conversations that I've been in, that I hear someone talk about a story in the Bible, and I have NO CLUE what they are talking about. And I think to myself, WHY do I not know this and how stupid that I don't know this, as I have been in a relationship with Jesus Christ since I was 12 years old....thats around 15 years ago!! It has made me said. And so I think to myself, HOW do I figure these stories out. Then I work at a church, and there are little kids that know more about the Bible, than I do! That is AWESOME, but I just feel like a complete idiot. Yes, I do.
But you see, I never grew up with going to Sunday School or going to Awana. And that is where the majority of these kids get their stories, their foundation. I feel I never really had that foundation. The only foundation I have, is just my faith and trust and relationship I have with Jesus Christ. Sure, that is VERY important...but you still need to KNOW God.
So that brings me back to picking up this Children's book. I figure, I'll be a kid again, I'll learn like a kid learns, because that seems to really work!! Other things I've tired, just hasn't connect with me. I"ve tried "adult" books and even picking up the Bible itself and trying to read through it. But I get lost.
So I figured, lets get that kid foundation! :)

And last night, I read about the "First Crime" (Genesis 4) and when Cain kills Abel. I knew this story, but what hit me last night was this. Cain and Abel had sinful hearts, just like Adam & Eve (their parents). One day, Cain brought a gift to the Lord. It was some of his fruits. It was only a gift of fruit; there was no real thanks in his heart. Abel brought a little lamb from his flock. He offered the lamb to God with true thankfulness and trust in God's promise. He knew that he was sinful, and did not deserve the blessings of God.
**God can see ever man's heart. He is not interested in your gifts unless you bring them with a thankful and a trusting heart. God accepted Abel's gift, but He did not accept Cain's. When Cain saw that Abel's gift was accepted, but his was not, his face grew black with anger. God says if you bring an offering in the right spirit, your offering with be accepted too. Do not allow these angry thoughts to fill your mind. Sin is like a wild animal. It is always waiting to jump on you and choke you! You might know what happens, and that is that Cain killed Abel because of his jealousy of his brother Abel.
O my goodness...so SO so much has come out of this for me. First of all. That I need to have a thankful heart to God in the blessings He has given me and that when I give back, it is NOT to come because we "have to" or we "should" or we feel guilted to because of this. It's out of true thankfulness! And God knows when we have that and when we do not. So check your heart, check my heart, before you offer up to God. If your heart isn't in it, then why are you doing it? So many times we are just in a routine of writing out a check as part of our monthly expenses. It's NOT an expense...It should be the FIRST thing you give to God, not the last. And after that is when comes the trust and faith.
Second of all...jealous. Holy Moly can this eat you alive! Right?! Did you not read what I wrote...Cain did not listen to God's warning. He was jealous of his brother. Am I aware of my jealous I have in life? Yes, but what am I doing about it? I know I am aware of it and I am listening to God about the warning from this...so what do I do about it?! I take what God is telling me and I do it! Simple right? Sure. But what hit me was the fact that sin (jealousy) is like a wild animal. It is always waiting to jump on you and choke you! These issues I have, are choking me alive! And how will I respond? I ask God to take the sinful heart of mine and work in my heart and let me breath. He will. Ask long as I ask God to help me with this.
Thirdly...Trust! Do I trust God? I sure do. But do I always live it out that way. No, none of us do. We are all sinful. But then I read Jeremiah 17:7-8 this morning and I just smiled. God is once again showing me TRUST. I hear God saying, "Trust me Kelly. Trust me that I will help you get through some of this struggles you are facing. Trust me that I will provide for you. Trust me that I will allow things to happen in my time. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. I am here for you Kelly, just come to me."
yeah...that is exactly how I hear it. I just hear God and I feel his comfort in this. It's an overwhelming feeling and I feel so incredible blessed by this. I am blessed that this children's Bible stories I am reading over is blessing me. I thank God that He has this book in my life, over all these years. I know I remember some of it from when I was little, but I am thankful that now today, after 15 years, I am still seeing these kids stories more impactful than anything else. I don't think it matters where it comes from, as long as God is speaking to you and teaching you. And that is just what is happening! Thank you God for bringing this back into my life. I pray Lord Jesus, that these word I read, that they would dwell in my heart. Thank you that this is a way that you are speaking to me! Thank you! I pray that I can change my heart towards things and that you can work in my life and help me. I need you to help me get through them. Thank you Lord Jesus!

It's Not Mine

I had someone special and dear to me ask me yesterday for some perspective. I was honored that they asked me what I thought of the situation.
As I wrote my perspective out, I realized more and more how we all need this perspective on life, in no matter WHAT situation we are in.

This person has been dealing with some struggles with things piling up, one after another, and not understanding why. I will NEVER know why! First problems with things in their house, then another major problem with something in their house and now medical bills for something that problem seems like it shouldn't have happened...but it still did.
Here is what I told this person:


I feel like I can relate because of"PERSEVERANCE". Sometimes I feel like the struggles I face, with finding a house, with family struggles, with finances, yes. I feel like through it, every time it comes to do I trust God? Do I trust that God will lead us to a house, YES, i firmly do. But why isn't anything happening...BECAUSE He is shaping both of us through this long and frustrating process. We have learned through it that we are blessed to just BE IN A HOUSE, even if it is
renting...we've been learning a lot about each other and we've seen God work in our hearts regarding OUR finances.
Then with family struggles...this is a funny one. Because the things I struggle with with family things, are things that just have to do with ME. And its GOD showing me how areas of my life need more work, or how he stretches me to build my trust in Him and how I need to continually LET THINGS GO. And God knows how much I struggle with holding onto things in my life and
NOT letting HIM take it...let HIM take the burden. I have a hard time letting God handle my burden, when he specifically has told us to give it to Him. So through those things...even with the house too, God is teaching me to give those up to Him and not dwell on the situation and to take the time to reflect on what God has in this situation to grow me and mature me and shape me. Very humbling...

And then with finances...we struggle, just like you. Just when we feel we are getting ahead on something, something happens, mostly medical things, or car issues. But what I’ve learned through it as well, is how much do I trust God that He will provide for us during that. It could have been worse, and that is how I feel God has shown me things through finances. When a
medical bill comes across, i grumble and think, "my stupid jaw, can't i just have a new mouth!" hahaha...but no...God created me this way and I'm thankful for it. At least I can eat! It could be worse. And I TRUST God that IN TIME, He will provide for us. And as much as i hate payments and hate that i have that lingering on in my heart and head...I do know that in time, God will
provide us with money to pay it off...and in the meantime, i make payments for what I can!

I've also learned that God is teaching me things about finances through it. It's HIS money, not ours. And He doesn't mean for these things to happen, but I do believe He teaches us things about "our" money and how we are using "our/his" money. I'm not saying that you guys are frugal with your money, i know you are not. Maybe this is a way of God bringing you back to Him WITH your finances. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW the study you guys went through and how that changed your perspective on how you give...BUT DON'T look at it that way. Don’t look at it in a way of why? Look at it in a way of OK God, what are you showing me here in my life that I need to work on more? HE KNOWS you give and give and give...and that is awesome!! But maybe He is showing you something else with your finances. Maybe he is trying to show you that ALL your money is His...not just that, that you give to others. I know you know this...

He wants you to trust him in all things...even this. He will provide to you...but will you trust that He will? Don’t look at it as a huge bill, look at it as YOU ARE HEATHY and NOT more seriously hurt than that. Goodness...I know this is hard. Because i think that same way...and think, OMG
how will i get through this bill!!!!???!! but you know what...YOU DO WHAT YOU CAN, and you will be blessed by God, maybe not right away, but you never know how God will bless you through this. God never said things would be easy or that we wouldn't have struggles. He says we will have struggles...it's a matter of how you respond to them. So I ask that you respond to God rejoicing, and ask Him for help through this. Ask Him to show you what He wants to show you
through this!

I write this and think to myself...goodness...I know I will face something like this someday too, and i wonder how I would respond. And I pray I would respond just how i am talking to you. Harder when you are on the opposite end. So maybe this is a good lesson for me as well, for the
future...or even currently with some of things I’m battling with! :)
Funny how that works out.

O Lord Jesus...I pray for my **********. What a sweet soul this person is and how they just wants to do what you desire for their life. I pray that in this situation at hand that you take there fears and frustrations and anxieties away right now. I pray that they turn to you and seek you out for
how to handle this and how to rejoice in you for this. I pray that they find comfort knowing that you are in control and that you WILL see them through on this financial burden they feel!!! It's
not a burden for them to carry and I pray that they see that and don't feel it as a burden from you. Lord, bless them and give them comfort. I thank you Jesus that ********* was not hurt more than this! How scary and to think it was only a big lip and sore tooth. It could have been head damage and so much more. Thank you for protecting and watching over. I pray they see it as a blessing and not as a problem. Lord Jesus, I ask that you bless them beyond what they can even imagine right now. Maybe not financially, but in other ways Lord. Thank you for keeping them health and having them in my life. Please give comfort and I know they are struggling to figure out why! As I am as well. But we don't need to know why this stuff happens, we just need to trust you. I pray they trust you and give it up to you!

Too many questions?

I had one of those fabulous days today when you see people do things and you wonder, how is this even possible? Ha...
And after the day is said and done, the only thing that comes to mind is...well, I will SOMEHOW find it in, to forget that and love that person anyways, a complete stranger.
And actually, this situation, this person, who I was just in awe of how this situation could get more frustrating and complicated and plain ANNOYING...made me actually learn something from it today.
First off, thank you Jesus for that

So here it is, the wonderful, fabulous day of mine.
Basically, I worked 9:30am-7:30pm today, with no break what-so-over. Reason, there were only 2 of us scheduled today at work and when you are as busy as we were today that means you really can't do anything about, but suck it up and keep working. And that is just what me and my co-worker did today.
What didn't help our crazy day, was crazy people! I laugh now and THINK that possibly our day could have gone a little smoother or better had these 3 things not happened, right in a row.

First of all, I had a lady ask if we could shorten her jeans. Really, now we are seamstress? But what she really meant, was to get them shipped back and shorted and then shipped back to the store? really? really? did I just hear that right? We did some other things with this lady to see if we could "find her size", but nothing was working for that either...and on top of this, we were SWAMPED with other customers. Not that I didn't have the time for this customer, but I just was in awe of the requests that were asked...when clearly this lady could see we were busy.

Then...RIGHT after that, right after I thought I escaped a messy situation...another lady asks if we can special order some things. Thankfully, that one was manageable, but still VERY time consuming.
Then...RIGHT after that, ANOTHER one is wondering about a different size and wondering if we can ship in a different size. I thought, really? How am I getting ALL of these!! really? I was about ready to just scream at that point...because I felt like I was barely able to tread my water around the cash registers with everyone else too.
And THAT one, was the kicker for me today. This lady, with ONE pair of capris, managed to ask about 15 questions and had different issues on top of that WITH this ONE pair of capris. How is this even possible. O believe me...it was done.
First, she wanted to see if we could even special order then, then she wondered if they came in different colors, then she wondered what size was best, then she wanted to know if that TYPE of style was anywhere else in the store, so she could SEE what size she would even need to order, then we managed to walk around the entire store showing here every other possible capri in the store only to have her ask, "so there are no other ones?" I wanted to say so bad, "o yeah, we have a secret store in the ground that we keep THOSE at!" But I managed somehow to keep my cool. And just said, no sorry, that is ALL we have (about 20 different ones in the store). So then we go back to the register and I had already given her about 3 other options for her with these ONE pair of capri's And once again came the questions. And SO THEN when we finally started checking her stuff out, more questions came. I just thought, really? is this person EVER going to go away and UNDERSTAND that what I am saying, is just really what is true?
blah blah blah, more happened...and in the end, she ended up complete questioning HOW I rang her up! I thought, you've GOT to be kidding, now I can't ring her up right?!
Finally my other associate stepped in and tried to bring some sense to this whole thing, and still didn't really work. I really even now, don't know how it all ended. I know we finished, but I don't remember how we got there.

As I've been thinking tonight about my lovely long day I've had. That is when it came to me...Each one of these ladies needed some help. Yes. Each one of them had a special request that they CAME to me FOR. Yes. There were other people in the store, yes, and did they need those "special" requests? No, or maybe they just didn't KNOW they could ask.
Where I am going with this..
Well, take it this way...
In our Christian walk, in this "religious talk", SOME of us go to God with this "special request" and ask of Him some help or some guidance to what they are really seeking out. Some of us try to get to the bottom of things to understand what life is about...just like those ladies. They were trying to get to the bottom of things to see what we could OFFER them. Sometimes those requests may seem strange (like the lady that wanted us to hem her pants), and we look like "what, is that even being asked". And others, maybe a simple request and is an easy one to "handle". Then other requests might take longer to dig through and to help with. But they are still asking and seeking. And God is ALWAYS there. He doesn't react how I DID today...and just want to get rid of these people because the situation TOOK TOO LONG or was too many questions and too complicated. NO, God takes His TIME with EACH one of us no matter what requests or questions we may have. And not only that, He gets thousands upon thousands of millions requests daily...and even who knows how many. He handles them ALL at the same time. He cares SO MUCH about us that He takes that time to help us figure those situations out, those questions He answers! How else in this life cares that much about you? I can't think of anyone that would be THAT BUSY and STILL be listening to ALL my struggles and frustrations and all my questions about life! But I know I can always count on God!
Isn't that interesting to think about? That He never wants to get rid of you, or never lets the fact that He has many other people to help in this world, that He takes that time WITH YOU, and YOU PERSONALLY?
Do you have that kind of relationship with God? You can? He is always going to be there you, in all those situations. When you have so many questions about life or about something, you can ask so many different ODD questions and that won't matter...HE will STILL help you and have time for you.
I don't know about you...but I'd rather have God in my life, than someone like ME, who gets flustered and annoyed when those things happen.

O Lord Jesus, I sit here wanting to weep, because I feel like I could take more time...more time to love people. I know I'm NOT GOD or can care for people like you do...but what I do know is, that my attitude could be different towards it. I could look at today and see that I need to realize that person is my main focus as that time, and whatever else is going on...still be aware, but focus on them and give them the attention that they are looking for. Just like so many of us look for in someone...and all we need to do is turn to YOU for that attention. O Lord, I pray that people can see this and realize that all they need for attention is you! And not only that Lord, but I pray that those people, EVEN me, that we would come to you with ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, big or small, one question or a million questions. That we wouldn't be afraid to SEEK YOU OUT!!

Thank You for the love and care you show us all. Thank you for showing me this today and the many other things that I just can't even express right now!
I pray you continue to dig deep into my life to reveal these things to me.
Wow...

change of heart

What a great weekend spending with old friends and wonderful fellowship. So grateful for the time spent and being back to our old "home". It was a beautiful thing being surrounded by the people that know us, care for us, have concern for us, help us, guide us and love us. It was just what we needed. I'm blown away by the friendships that we still have even after a year a being moved away. Why did I doubt that. Some of which we haven't seen or talked to in months and it was the greatest feeling to just love on each other and pick right back up where we left.
Hard to leave? YES...but I found myself ready to go "home".
I loved every minute I had...and when I knew it was time to go home, I was ready to go and come back. I knew where my place in life was, and that was in the North woods. I love everyone so much but I realized this weekend that my heart is in a different place. My heart loves our friends and missing them and their families terribly, but I also know that God has me in the North woods for this time in our life and it was re-affirming this weekend that we are in the exact place we are called to be and I'm so grateful that I'm able to say that. I was fearful that I would find myself this weekend wishing I was still back "home" and with everyone. and yes, i do, but when it comes down to it, would I move if I had a choice RIGHT now....i don't think i would. O goodness, that is hard...but I think of the wonderful friendships we DO have down there and how refreshing it was to be back with them ALL. Why would I want to stay up here if I had a choice...because THIS is where God has CALLED us to and it makes it that much easier for me to say that. God has worked in my life in the past year and wow, I just don't understand what I did to have God change me so much and take that much in a year to change me, mold me, grow me. I"m blown away at how JUST a year ago, the person I was...and the person I am today. I'm blessed.
My life isn't there anymore and that was NOT a sad reality for me, I was excited for where God has and what He is doing in my life. yeah, I'm sad because it once was and do long for that time in my life I had, but if I wouldn't be where I am currently, I wouldn't be the person I am today that God is working on.
How cool is that?

And I look at where I am currently and the struggles I'm facing in life right now. I'm trying to look at those things the same way I'm looking at this past year. I know it will come to pass, but it's always a process. It won't be fixed in a day, or a week, or a month, or a year. And that is what I'm trying to focus on. God is once again, shaping me, molding, stretching me, guiding me and during it, loving me. As frustrated as I can me, I know I have a change of heart through my current situation and that change of heart happened through this weekend through a year of changes of heart. If that makes any sense what so ever. I know that if what I went through this past year, if I can go through those struggles and come out of it to say THANK YOU LORD, i know I can face these things in the same way and know that God's hand is with me, every step of the way.

Lord, I know that you are always here and always have been. I thank for such an amazing weekend with friends and family and the beautiful fellowship you've given us this past weekend. What a blessing. Thank you for showing us both so many things and guiding us. We know that your hands are with us during this time and that you will continue to reveal to us things, but only in your time. That is what keeps me going Lord Jesus, knowing its all in your hands. Take this weight off my shoulders Lord Jesus, take it off and let me breathe knowing that you will reveal things to us, in your time, not ours. Just like you did to us a year ago. What a cool year it has been and I'm excited for the coming years and what cool things you will work on in our lives as well.
You are changing my heart Lord, to so many things that I have been so scared to face. I pray that you continue to working my life and change my heart. I want a heart change and I want to feel your love, support, guidance and care. I know you do, but i want to truly understand that when I face these heart changes, that it's not scary...IT'S A BLESSING!

How do you know which voice?

I don't even know where to begin. I'm stuck in a hard place, at least that is how it feels. I feel like I'm (we) are being torn into 2 different directions and the thing is...at one point, I thought God was clearly showing us one direction and now...I just feel like maybe that isn't the case and maybe He is showing us something else.
That brings me to the question...How do you know which voice is from God and which voice is from Evil. I feel like both could be God and very well could be. I know decisions aren't suppose to be easy to make, especially big decisions.
But I feel like when it's God's voice, it should be clear, at easy, no rushed...and so many other things. And I did feel that, at first. But now it's not so clear, or maybe is it that we just aren't making it clear.
I just want to be in the will of God and to do what He desires us to do. How can you know when that is or when that ISN'T?

Lord Jesus, no one will understand what is really behind this post, and that is fine. I know you do and I just pray that during this questioning time that I find relaxation in YOU and what you are trying to show us. I know we will learn something from this in which ever way this comes about. Lord Jesus, I don't ask for you to answer my questions or to point blank show us what you mean. I just ask that you can help to keep seeking this out and seeking YOU out during this time and to listen to YOUR voice and what you are telling us. Help me to know its your voice. Speak wisdom and understanding into us and we figure out what we are suppose to do. I thank you for guiding us this entire time and I know that you continually will, with no matter what outcome happens.
Lord Jesus, give us the peace to know its from YOU.