It seems as though, lately, all around me I am hearing things about cancer and death. In the last week, I know 4 deaths that have happened, 2 of which were cancer. My heart has been aching...and I didn't even know hardly any of these people. So why am I hurting...
The one that is hitting me the hardest right now is a 25 year old woman that died Thursday evening after her battle with Leukemia...just a short 6 month battle. This person, I did know. Not on a personal level, but I did go to high school with her, she was actually in my brothers class and my sister in law's (my brothers wife) best friend in high school. My heart is just broken and just stunned. I know God has things happen for a reason. I guess it just really hits home when it someone that is YOUR AGE and someone you KNEW. But not only that...but what I am broken about is the fact that just a year ago, she was perfectly fine! In fact, just 8 months ago she was perfectly fine. And how her world turned upside down in just a very short time. It has made me realize, that not only are we not all guaranteed tomorrow, but we aren't guaranteed even 6 months from now. I bet she thought a year ago certain things, and then all of a sudden, boom...cancer...and boom...battling for her life which ended so fast!
I'm shocked at the fact that it was only a battle for 6 months and I just can't get over that how just 8 months ago, she was fine and never even had that thought of cancer in her life.
I laid in bed Saturday night wide awake thinking about all of this and how God has a plan for ME, for my husband, for my parents, for my co-workers and for my friends. And how so too often we just live every day as if we'll have tomorrow and if we have the whole next year to do that or this. But reality hit, and who knows if I will be or my husband or my parents or a dear friend won't be here 6 months from now and how God can, at any time, turn our paths a different direction...and HAVE US refocus our lives back on Him and what He has planned out for us...HAS OUR BEST INTEREST IN MIND.
It's interesting that our Sermon Series at church is on the book of James. And yesterday spoke of the James 1:2-4
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
I fall to my knees to you Lord Jesus...that through trials that we face, BIG OR SMALL, that we will be testing in our faith. Lord Jesus I don't even know how to think right now as I am so overwhelmed with emotions of fear, of hopelessness, of strength, of courage, of fear and of the unknown and the love you give. It's a wide range of emotions Lord and I am just not sure what to feel towards all of this. I know ALL things that come to happen are nothing I can control...and I pray right now that I may always realize this and that others may see this as well. And that no matter what I may face today, tomorrow, 3 months, 6 months, a year from now...may I consider it pure joy what you have set before me! Lord I know there is more to all of this of what has happened this week in deaths that I haven't even seen yet. I pray that others will see these things from you as well...and that may there be lives changed to You in these happenings!
