There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient.
When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Fighter
My life has been consumed with nothing, NOTHING, but school...studying that is. I honestly don't like that my life has completely changed. I knew this was going to be hard and I knew it would take a lot of work, but I didn't expect it to run my life.
I'm only 1 1/2 months into this semester and it seems to be going by so SLOW. Every day I go to class (Monday, Wednesday, Friday), I keep saying, is it December yet?
I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I didn't realize my life would be turned upside down.
I've learned to adjust, some days.
The other days I'm just a mess.
Have I wanted to quit, YES. But that would be too easy to do and I would NEVER let myself forget that I quit. That is just not an option for me...I'm not a quitter and those that know me best, know I go down with a fight! hahaha I hope to fuel those emotions to get through this semester.
The funny this is that I've started out really strong in one of my classes and really terrible in the other. How is that possible? I really don't have an answer. But what I've learned in the last month and half is how much I am capable of. I've honestly thought back to my high school days and thought, WOW, so this is what studying could have been like and wow, what would I have been like if I would have applied myself this much in high school?! It honestly makes me sad, but you can't re due the past, you have to just focus on what you have in front of you now. I wish I could re due high school, very much so. Because now I wonder that if I would have actually studied at night and read the chapters, instead of cramming every single night right before a test and really not getting it... I really think I would have been a much smarter person. hahaha...in theory. But again, that is the past.
I'm excited for what I've already learned and it's truly amazing how I've been able to do this. I am tired, I'm burnt out, I'm deprived. I love that I study like I do, but I don't like what it has done either. I am so tired, as I wake up, go to work, go workout, study study study. Repeat x5 days/week. On weekends I wake up, study study study, workout, study study study...MAYBE do a load of laundry as I can remember. I don't see anyone anymore or for that matter, talk to anyone...that is where I'm deprived. Our neighbors, the other day, saw me for the first time in 5 weeks and they were like "ooo you do still live here!" Because before, I was always outside or out and about with my husband constantly. Now all I do is sit inside and read and study.
Last weekend I had a little break down. I was so frustrated with the material, not necessarily because it's hard, it's just SO much you have to learn in SO little time. One chapter alone had over 100 terms I needed to memorize (in 1 weeks time), plus add 2 other chapters on top of that, who also have about 50 terms each to memorize. You get my picture, maybe. Plus on top of that, doing other charts and diagrams for this class too. But I was frustrated because I didn't understand how one person can memorize so much in so little time. And not only that, we had people that wanted to "hang out" with us on Saturday and on Sunday, different people for each days/nights. Ah, I had to tell my husband we couldn't and he completely understood, but I didn't like that it happened. Where was my life? And then on Sunday my husband, after hunting all day, decided to have our neighbors over to grill the ducks/birds they just go...which ended up being a 3 hour extravaganza! :( I was loving having people over, but as soon as they left, at 9:30pm, I FREAKED out and broke down and just was like, "I just wasted 3 hours of time to study!!!!" SERIOUSLY, THAT IS WHAT I SAID.
I wasn't happy with MYSELF that I even would say such a thing. I cried so much that night because I felt like everything has changed so much and I don't think I was ready for this to be this way. I basically made a huge sacrifice by committing to going back to school. I just didn't realize it would mean everything. :(
Here is the thing:
Just like my sacrifice for school and doing homework...I have made the same "sacrifice" to follow Jesus Christ...the difference, I don't see it as a sacrifice, plus I've been following Jesus Christ for 16 years now. I hope I make this point right.
When you, or I have, decided to follow Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and allowed Him into my life and to work in my life as He so desires, I made a sacrifice that my OLD self would DIE and my new self would come alive in Christ.
I died to old ways, ways of this world. I knew my life would be different. I knew I wouldn't be the person that many people out there are. I knew I would make decisions in a different way than many others look at decisions or make those decisions, because with everything in my life comes the same common thing...Jesus Christ. Everything I do, I live and breath Jesus Christ....or least I try to. We are all human and we all make mistakes, I AM NOT PERFECT, NO SINGLE PERSON IS...
This whole back to school thing made me realize what a life changing thing this is, you have to conform to a new way of living. You have to say No to things that aren't good for you. You have to focus and learn what the Bible says (in my school case, what the Human Body says). You read it, you learn it, you MAKE it apart of your daily life. You have "tests". However, I don't really like the word "test" when it comes to "God testing you". I believe he allows things to happen and you have a choice...and no matter what choice you make, God will be with you. But God still puts things in front of you to see how you will react or what path you will choose. Same with school, I have tests. If I don't study, I will probably not be going down a good path. If I don't study the Bible, I probably will make poor decisions and go down a wrong a path. It is VERY important in both cases to study your material and be prepared for what may fall at you.
So this whole school thing...and me freaking out. Yeah, hasn't been fun. But thing of it is, it was MY choice and my choice alone. I am the one that goes to school each day I need to, I'm the one that comprehends the material, I am the one that seeks out the help. No one made me do it, no one is doing it for me. My Faith in Jesus Christ...I MADE the decision to follow Jesus Christ, and I alone came to that decision that I needed Him in my life and believed I will go to Heaven someday because of my faith and trust in Jesus Christ. No one has forced me to make that decision. You will always have people in your life that will encourage you and help you and help you understand what it all means (just like with school, I have a great support system who are my cheerleaders!) :) BUT, on both sides of that, I have people who bring you down. There will be people in your life that make fun of you for your Christian Faith, who say you are "religious" (which, don't get me started on "religious", your faith isn't a religion, it's a relationship!!!) or who mock you or tear you down. I have those same in school who say "just quit if its too hard, or yeah see, you can't do it". But who do I choose to listen to? I CHOOSE to get those people OUT of my life and focus on what I know I can do. I know school is fine, and I also know that those people in my life, that mock my Faith, aren't helping me or encouraging me, so I just pray that God is working in their lives. I will not shun them, but I simple choose to seek different encouragement in my life. I don't need that negativity!
Anyways...times gets rough, but how strong are you to pull through? How strong are you in your Faith? Nothing is meant to be easy...nothing. Not even the Christian Faith, but at least you have someone on your side fighting for you and encouraging you!!! :)
I'm only 1 1/2 months into this semester and it seems to be going by so SLOW. Every day I go to class (Monday, Wednesday, Friday), I keep saying, is it December yet?
I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I didn't realize my life would be turned upside down.
I've learned to adjust, some days.
The other days I'm just a mess.
Have I wanted to quit, YES. But that would be too easy to do and I would NEVER let myself forget that I quit. That is just not an option for me...I'm not a quitter and those that know me best, know I go down with a fight! hahaha I hope to fuel those emotions to get through this semester.
The funny this is that I've started out really strong in one of my classes and really terrible in the other. How is that possible? I really don't have an answer. But what I've learned in the last month and half is how much I am capable of. I've honestly thought back to my high school days and thought, WOW, so this is what studying could have been like and wow, what would I have been like if I would have applied myself this much in high school?! It honestly makes me sad, but you can't re due the past, you have to just focus on what you have in front of you now. I wish I could re due high school, very much so. Because now I wonder that if I would have actually studied at night and read the chapters, instead of cramming every single night right before a test and really not getting it... I really think I would have been a much smarter person. hahaha...in theory. But again, that is the past.
I'm excited for what I've already learned and it's truly amazing how I've been able to do this. I am tired, I'm burnt out, I'm deprived. I love that I study like I do, but I don't like what it has done either. I am so tired, as I wake up, go to work, go workout, study study study. Repeat x5 days/week. On weekends I wake up, study study study, workout, study study study...MAYBE do a load of laundry as I can remember. I don't see anyone anymore or for that matter, talk to anyone...that is where I'm deprived. Our neighbors, the other day, saw me for the first time in 5 weeks and they were like "ooo you do still live here!" Because before, I was always outside or out and about with my husband constantly. Now all I do is sit inside and read and study.
Last weekend I had a little break down. I was so frustrated with the material, not necessarily because it's hard, it's just SO much you have to learn in SO little time. One chapter alone had over 100 terms I needed to memorize (in 1 weeks time), plus add 2 other chapters on top of that, who also have about 50 terms each to memorize. You get my picture, maybe. Plus on top of that, doing other charts and diagrams for this class too. But I was frustrated because I didn't understand how one person can memorize so much in so little time. And not only that, we had people that wanted to "hang out" with us on Saturday and on Sunday, different people for each days/nights. Ah, I had to tell my husband we couldn't and he completely understood, but I didn't like that it happened. Where was my life? And then on Sunday my husband, after hunting all day, decided to have our neighbors over to grill the ducks/birds they just go...which ended up being a 3 hour extravaganza! :( I was loving having people over, but as soon as they left, at 9:30pm, I FREAKED out and broke down and just was like, "I just wasted 3 hours of time to study!!!!" SERIOUSLY, THAT IS WHAT I SAID.
I wasn't happy with MYSELF that I even would say such a thing. I cried so much that night because I felt like everything has changed so much and I don't think I was ready for this to be this way. I basically made a huge sacrifice by committing to going back to school. I just didn't realize it would mean everything. :(
Here is the thing:
Just like my sacrifice for school and doing homework...I have made the same "sacrifice" to follow Jesus Christ...the difference, I don't see it as a sacrifice, plus I've been following Jesus Christ for 16 years now. I hope I make this point right.
When you, or I have, decided to follow Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and allowed Him into my life and to work in my life as He so desires, I made a sacrifice that my OLD self would DIE and my new self would come alive in Christ.
I died to old ways, ways of this world. I knew my life would be different. I knew I wouldn't be the person that many people out there are. I knew I would make decisions in a different way than many others look at decisions or make those decisions, because with everything in my life comes the same common thing...Jesus Christ. Everything I do, I live and breath Jesus Christ....or least I try to. We are all human and we all make mistakes, I AM NOT PERFECT, NO SINGLE PERSON IS...
This whole back to school thing made me realize what a life changing thing this is, you have to conform to a new way of living. You have to say No to things that aren't good for you. You have to focus and learn what the Bible says (in my school case, what the Human Body says). You read it, you learn it, you MAKE it apart of your daily life. You have "tests". However, I don't really like the word "test" when it comes to "God testing you". I believe he allows things to happen and you have a choice...and no matter what choice you make, God will be with you. But God still puts things in front of you to see how you will react or what path you will choose. Same with school, I have tests. If I don't study, I will probably not be going down a good path. If I don't study the Bible, I probably will make poor decisions and go down a wrong a path. It is VERY important in both cases to study your material and be prepared for what may fall at you.
So this whole school thing...and me freaking out. Yeah, hasn't been fun. But thing of it is, it was MY choice and my choice alone. I am the one that goes to school each day I need to, I'm the one that comprehends the material, I am the one that seeks out the help. No one made me do it, no one is doing it for me. My Faith in Jesus Christ...I MADE the decision to follow Jesus Christ, and I alone came to that decision that I needed Him in my life and believed I will go to Heaven someday because of my faith and trust in Jesus Christ. No one has forced me to make that decision. You will always have people in your life that will encourage you and help you and help you understand what it all means (just like with school, I have a great support system who are my cheerleaders!) :) BUT, on both sides of that, I have people who bring you down. There will be people in your life that make fun of you for your Christian Faith, who say you are "religious" (which, don't get me started on "religious", your faith isn't a religion, it's a relationship!!!) or who mock you or tear you down. I have those same in school who say "just quit if its too hard, or yeah see, you can't do it". But who do I choose to listen to? I CHOOSE to get those people OUT of my life and focus on what I know I can do. I know school is fine, and I also know that those people in my life, that mock my Faith, aren't helping me or encouraging me, so I just pray that God is working in their lives. I will not shun them, but I simple choose to seek different encouragement in my life. I don't need that negativity!
Anyways...times gets rough, but how strong are you to pull through? How strong are you in your Faith? Nothing is meant to be easy...nothing. Not even the Christian Faith, but at least you have someone on your side fighting for you and encouraging you!!! :)
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Where is your heart?
Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value
others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to
the interests of the others.”
This could go on the lines of complaining that I talked about the other day. If you are complaining about others, you are not holding others above yourself.
I'm having a rough time with this one and this has been a real challenge for me lately. I feel like my life is filled with hearing complaints. I get them from/at work, I get them with school, I get them from home. When life is filled with so many complaints, how is someone suppose to look positive in that. Like I said the other day...when you surround yourself with complaints, you will complain. I'm trying so hard to get away from it, but I keep getting hit with them. My boss/Pastor yesterday even told me, "now Kelly, think positive that they will have a good attitude about this!" So I thought, ya, you are right Jeff, I'll change my attitude and think positive! And I was!! I thought, OK, this is alright. If you start thinking positive about things people may surprise you.
Well, I was doing well up until 8:30 this morning when I received a rather complaining phone call about the exact matter that I was talking to Pastor about yesterday. I crumbled! And I just thought, really? Why Lord? Why?! How are you suppose to think positive and give people a chance when I KNEW it would turn this way AND IT DID! I'd like to say, my point made! But I won't. :) THIS is why I struggle so much to be positive and not complain myself. I know that not everyone is like this and it could have turned out different. I know that. I also know that God is showing me something through this and I instant turn to Him and say, "Ok God, what now? Now what do I do and how do I take this?" I don't expect Him to answer today, but I know that my attitude will turn positive and I'll move on. I know that one thing won't bring me down, as much as I wanted it to this morning.
What can change this? ME. I can BE positive and NOT complain and pray that when those around me complain, I can have deaf ears.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value
others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to
the interests of the others.”
This could go on the lines of complaining that I talked about the other day. If you are complaining about others, you are not holding others above yourself.
I'm having a rough time with this one and this has been a real challenge for me lately. I feel like my life is filled with hearing complaints. I get them from/at work, I get them with school, I get them from home. When life is filled with so many complaints, how is someone suppose to look positive in that. Like I said the other day...when you surround yourself with complaints, you will complain. I'm trying so hard to get away from it, but I keep getting hit with them. My boss/Pastor yesterday even told me, "now Kelly, think positive that they will have a good attitude about this!" So I thought, ya, you are right Jeff, I'll change my attitude and think positive! And I was!! I thought, OK, this is alright. If you start thinking positive about things people may surprise you.
Well, I was doing well up until 8:30 this morning when I received a rather complaining phone call about the exact matter that I was talking to Pastor about yesterday. I crumbled! And I just thought, really? Why Lord? Why?! How are you suppose to think positive and give people a chance when I KNEW it would turn this way AND IT DID! I'd like to say, my point made! But I won't. :) THIS is why I struggle so much to be positive and not complain myself. I know that not everyone is like this and it could have turned out different. I know that. I also know that God is showing me something through this and I instant turn to Him and say, "Ok God, what now? Now what do I do and how do I take this?" I don't expect Him to answer today, but I know that my attitude will turn positive and I'll move on. I know that one thing won't bring me down, as much as I wanted it to this morning.
What can change this? ME. I can BE positive and NOT complain and pray that when those around me complain, I can have deaf ears.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Complaining
I've been learning a lot about what dedication and perseverance means. I listened to a great message last night while I was running and it talked about complaining...which is actually the second message of this. It's fitting for some struggles I'm going through regarding my work situation. I love my job I do and I love where I work. My biggest struggle is LISTENING to the complaining. What I've noticed is that when you hear complaining and are constantly around negative things in your life, it starts to pull you down.
Well, that is what has been happening to me. These negative "complaining" comments keep bringing me down, to the point where I have started to complain as well. This is something I learned from the message:
If you are complaining, you are not allowing God to WORK in the situation. You are actually hindering his ability to work in the situation. Interesting. So if you continually complain about something, ITS NEVER GOING TO GET FIXED because God isn't able to work in YOUR life to either see you see a different perspective or vs versa.
Interesting...
So instead of complaining about a job, or people, or bad decisions others have made that effect outcomes (no, I'm not referring to football with the refs). Maybe instead be THANKFUL for what you do have? Your life needs to be in CONSTANT thanksgiving! Not just on Thanksgiving, BUT CONSTANTLY IN THANKSGIVING.
I find this funny and neat, because a week ago I was having a conversation with our Pastor about how I get caught up in the why "worldly" people think and it brings me down just with that. I told him that I'm not jealous of things others have or anything like that, because I honestly, fully heartily LOVE the life I have. So why do I want to pick on others with their life or why do I even look at others lives and compare them? He said... "are you truly thankful for what you have?" He just said in order to change your attitude you need to be in constant thankfulness for what you do have, just like you are telling me now. You say you are thankful, but are you truly thankful every day for the circumstances God has given you? woah...interesting thought!
So I went home and made a little poster that says "Blessings from God" and hung it on our fridge. And every time we are "thankful" or "blessed" for/by something, we write it down. I LOVE IT. My husband has really gotten into doing this (because we've both struggled with this) and it's been a blast to see what we've come up with.
But this is the point...CONSTANT thanksgiving WILL change your attitude about stuff and will result in LESS if not NO complaining! I don't know about you, but I want POSITIVE things in my life, I don't want to hear complaining.
A verse stuck out to me and it has nothing to do with complaining or thanksgiving....BUT it will help you "persevere" through those times! :)
Romans 5:3-4
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that
suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character,
hope.”
Well, that is what has been happening to me. These negative "complaining" comments keep bringing me down, to the point where I have started to complain as well. This is something I learned from the message:
If you are complaining, you are not allowing God to WORK in the situation. You are actually hindering his ability to work in the situation. Interesting. So if you continually complain about something, ITS NEVER GOING TO GET FIXED because God isn't able to work in YOUR life to either see you see a different perspective or vs versa.
Interesting...
So instead of complaining about a job, or people, or bad decisions others have made that effect outcomes (no, I'm not referring to football with the refs). Maybe instead be THANKFUL for what you do have? Your life needs to be in CONSTANT thanksgiving! Not just on Thanksgiving, BUT CONSTANTLY IN THANKSGIVING.
I find this funny and neat, because a week ago I was having a conversation with our Pastor about how I get caught up in the why "worldly" people think and it brings me down just with that. I told him that I'm not jealous of things others have or anything like that, because I honestly, fully heartily LOVE the life I have. So why do I want to pick on others with their life or why do I even look at others lives and compare them? He said... "are you truly thankful for what you have?" He just said in order to change your attitude you need to be in constant thankfulness for what you do have, just like you are telling me now. You say you are thankful, but are you truly thankful every day for the circumstances God has given you? woah...interesting thought!
So I went home and made a little poster that says "Blessings from God" and hung it on our fridge. And every time we are "thankful" or "blessed" for/by something, we write it down. I LOVE IT. My husband has really gotten into doing this (because we've both struggled with this) and it's been a blast to see what we've come up with.
But this is the point...CONSTANT thanksgiving WILL change your attitude about stuff and will result in LESS if not NO complaining! I don't know about you, but I want POSITIVE things in my life, I don't want to hear complaining.
A verse stuck out to me and it has nothing to do with complaining or thanksgiving....BUT it will help you "persevere" through those times! :)
Romans 5:3-4
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that
suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character,
hope.”
Monday, September 24, 2012
There are days
Hebrews 10:35-36
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to
persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he
has promised.”
There are many days lately when I just feel like giving up and just going back to normal. Meaning...school is rough...but I know I can do it. It is hard and it takes so much out of me and the easy solution would be, ahhh...I just want to have a normal life again, where not every night is constant studying and reading. But I'm learning this is the new lifestyle I need to adjust to and that if this is God's will for me to be back in school, then I will have the confidence when I grow weary. I will persevere through the hard nights of frustration.
There have been times during that last few weeks that I have questions that if this is really what God wants me to do. It's rough, but God never said that HIS WILL will be easy. So I know that just because this is HARD, doesn't mean I'm in the wrong Will of God. But I tell ya, I really have doubted on days, if I'm down the right path I thought God was telling me to go down. I keep plugging along and doing the best that I know I can. I give it my all and trust that is good enough and well enough to make it through. I absolutely LOVE what I am learning, as rough and intense as the information gets, I love what I am finding out about US as human beings. It's incredible how our bodies are made, how GOD made them! It's absolutely spectacular!
Lord, thank you for this verse today. I feel like you are telling me that I'm doing again, just keep pressing on to finish. It seems like this semester is so far away from being done...and I already feel like I need a break from constant studying. But Lord, I know you will give me the strength and energy to keep at it every single day! I ask that you do give me the guidance and strength when I grow weary and have the thoughts of "this is too hard." Lord, thank you for what I'm learning and I pray that I can retain this information and truly understand what it all means. I want so bad to completely understand it and not to just skim by in these classes! Its so awesome the stuff I'm learning, but its so in depth that it's hard to figure it all out at the same time or to retain that information. I ask that you help me figure that part of it out. Thank you again Lord for these struggles in this and thank you for what you are doing in my life!
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to
persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he
has promised.”
There are many days lately when I just feel like giving up and just going back to normal. Meaning...school is rough...but I know I can do it. It is hard and it takes so much out of me and the easy solution would be, ahhh...I just want to have a normal life again, where not every night is constant studying and reading. But I'm learning this is the new lifestyle I need to adjust to and that if this is God's will for me to be back in school, then I will have the confidence when I grow weary. I will persevere through the hard nights of frustration.
There have been times during that last few weeks that I have questions that if this is really what God wants me to do. It's rough, but God never said that HIS WILL will be easy. So I know that just because this is HARD, doesn't mean I'm in the wrong Will of God. But I tell ya, I really have doubted on days, if I'm down the right path I thought God was telling me to go down. I keep plugging along and doing the best that I know I can. I give it my all and trust that is good enough and well enough to make it through. I absolutely LOVE what I am learning, as rough and intense as the information gets, I love what I am finding out about US as human beings. It's incredible how our bodies are made, how GOD made them! It's absolutely spectacular!
Lord, thank you for this verse today. I feel like you are telling me that I'm doing again, just keep pressing on to finish. It seems like this semester is so far away from being done...and I already feel like I need a break from constant studying. But Lord, I know you will give me the strength and energy to keep at it every single day! I ask that you do give me the guidance and strength when I grow weary and have the thoughts of "this is too hard." Lord, thank you for what I'm learning and I pray that I can retain this information and truly understand what it all means. I want so bad to completely understand it and not to just skim by in these classes! Its so awesome the stuff I'm learning, but its so in depth that it's hard to figure it all out at the same time or to retain that information. I ask that you help me figure that part of it out. Thank you again Lord for these struggles in this and thank you for what you are doing in my life!
Friday, September 21, 2012
I'll Admit
Yesterday I did something that I knew wasn't good, but did it anyways. Well, later that night, I paid the consequences for my poor decision.
Well, I'll admit that yesterday was a low day for me, in the fact that I ate some things that I haven't in about a month or so. I ate Skittles...and 2 donut holes (that were absolutely out of this world, home made, freshly made...yah, need I say more). Ok...most will probably think, seriously...no big deal. Well, right, normally. But I've been SO good at watching what I've been eating, because I'm trying to learn a healthier approach to some things in life, so I've really cut out some of those NON nutritious foods in my life. TO ME...that means I START with those junk foods like Soda, candy, very salty things, major sweets. I start there and work my way to a different level as I get use to even this. Well, so for 2 months almost, I've done pretty well. I haven't had a lick or sip of Soda at all! :) BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ME...and going strong! I've had some little pieces of candy here and there, but nothing major. And as far as other sweets, we'll, I still like my cookies, there is nothing wrong with still have treats, its all in moderation. You get my point.
So I had some Skittles and some Donut holes (because Pastors wife and kids brought them in for us as a random appreciation). Here is the thing, I knew eating the Skittles (the entire bag) wasn't a good idea. I knew it wasn't the right track for me, but I decided I NEEDED them for some odd reason. And then you add on top of that donut holes (2 big ones that were incredible, did I say that already) :)
Well, by 1:00 my gut felt nasty...seriously. And I knew it was because of it. I thought, serves me right. Well, what do I do 2 hours later, top off the bag of skittles. Really Kelly? Didn't you learn from the first time? I have no idea what was going on with me! :(
Here is the situation...
I go to work out later that night, around 6:30pm. I started out with the weights, as a warm up, and then I decided to move onto the treadmill to do my normal 45 min run. I thought I was doing well, 2 minutes into it, and then around minute 5, I felt nasty! I really didn't think I would even make it to 10 minutes and I thought to myself...STUPID KELLY...THOSE DARN SKITTLES AND DONUTS...STUPID STUPID STUPID!!
I was NOT happy with myself.
I trudged along and finally made it to 10 minutes and I decided to stop running (I never do this, ahh, was that a blow to my self esteem at first) and I decided to walk for a little bit so this gut-wrenching pain can stop. I walked for about 20 minutes and as I did that, this is what came to me:
Sometimes in life we make poor decisions and when we FEED ourselves with unhealthy things, it slows us down in the direction we want to go. If we feed ourselves with gossip, with lies, with addictions, with fiction stories/books, with profanity...ok, the list could go on and on. If we are trying to live a better life or better yet, a life that is Christ-centered, these things in our life will only slow you down from seeing believing what God has in store for you. If I wouldn't have eaten those skittles and donuts, I would have been able to run the race that I HAD intended to run that night. But instead, my race was held back because I choose to eat unhealthy things...therefore effecting my body which resulted in effecting my race.
When you make those decisions and it causes you to slow down and maybe grow weary of this run, you slow down to figure it out and regain what you lost. You use that time to learn from those mistakes. Mistakes will happen, it's HUMAN nature. But its how you recover from that, that matters. Am I just going to keep filling my body (mind) with unhealthy things in life? I sure hope not. But again, I learn from these and I get stronger because of it.
Last night, I walked for a period of time and then I started running. I used the walking period to figure out where I went wrong and to regain the strength my body needed (feeding it back with healthy things) so that I could pick back up and start running again after a period of time.
Lord, I thank you that I ate poor things yesterday so that I could realize how bad that was for my body to experience. Why would I want to do that again? I'm sure I'll make those mistakes again, but what I love is your grace and forgiveness each time we make them. I thank you for the illustration it brought to mind of how those same things can effect us in our Spiritual life/walk. Thank you for what you are doing in my life and I ask for continued strength and guidance at where I am going for you guidance continually.
Well, I'll admit that yesterday was a low day for me, in the fact that I ate some things that I haven't in about a month or so. I ate Skittles...and 2 donut holes (that were absolutely out of this world, home made, freshly made...yah, need I say more). Ok...most will probably think, seriously...no big deal. Well, right, normally. But I've been SO good at watching what I've been eating, because I'm trying to learn a healthier approach to some things in life, so I've really cut out some of those NON nutritious foods in my life. TO ME...that means I START with those junk foods like Soda, candy, very salty things, major sweets. I start there and work my way to a different level as I get use to even this. Well, so for 2 months almost, I've done pretty well. I haven't had a lick or sip of Soda at all! :) BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ME...and going strong! I've had some little pieces of candy here and there, but nothing major. And as far as other sweets, we'll, I still like my cookies, there is nothing wrong with still have treats, its all in moderation. You get my point.
So I had some Skittles and some Donut holes (because Pastors wife and kids brought them in for us as a random appreciation). Here is the thing, I knew eating the Skittles (the entire bag) wasn't a good idea. I knew it wasn't the right track for me, but I decided I NEEDED them for some odd reason. And then you add on top of that donut holes (2 big ones that were incredible, did I say that already) :)
Well, by 1:00 my gut felt nasty...seriously. And I knew it was because of it. I thought, serves me right. Well, what do I do 2 hours later, top off the bag of skittles. Really Kelly? Didn't you learn from the first time? I have no idea what was going on with me! :(
Here is the situation...
I go to work out later that night, around 6:30pm. I started out with the weights, as a warm up, and then I decided to move onto the treadmill to do my normal 45 min run. I thought I was doing well, 2 minutes into it, and then around minute 5, I felt nasty! I really didn't think I would even make it to 10 minutes and I thought to myself...STUPID KELLY...THOSE DARN SKITTLES AND DONUTS...STUPID STUPID STUPID!!
I was NOT happy with myself.
I trudged along and finally made it to 10 minutes and I decided to stop running (I never do this, ahh, was that a blow to my self esteem at first) and I decided to walk for a little bit so this gut-wrenching pain can stop. I walked for about 20 minutes and as I did that, this is what came to me:
Sometimes in life we make poor decisions and when we FEED ourselves with unhealthy things, it slows us down in the direction we want to go. If we feed ourselves with gossip, with lies, with addictions, with fiction stories/books, with profanity...ok, the list could go on and on. If we are trying to live a better life or better yet, a life that is Christ-centered, these things in our life will only slow you down from seeing believing what God has in store for you. If I wouldn't have eaten those skittles and donuts, I would have been able to run the race that I HAD intended to run that night. But instead, my race was held back because I choose to eat unhealthy things...therefore effecting my body which resulted in effecting my race.
When you make those decisions and it causes you to slow down and maybe grow weary of this run, you slow down to figure it out and regain what you lost. You use that time to learn from those mistakes. Mistakes will happen, it's HUMAN nature. But its how you recover from that, that matters. Am I just going to keep filling my body (mind) with unhealthy things in life? I sure hope not. But again, I learn from these and I get stronger because of it.
Last night, I walked for a period of time and then I started running. I used the walking period to figure out where I went wrong and to regain the strength my body needed (feeding it back with healthy things) so that I could pick back up and start running again after a period of time.
Lord, I thank you that I ate poor things yesterday so that I could realize how bad that was for my body to experience. Why would I want to do that again? I'm sure I'll make those mistakes again, but what I love is your grace and forgiveness each time we make them. I thank you for the illustration it brought to mind of how those same things can effect us in our Spiritual life/walk. Thank you for what you are doing in my life and I ask for continued strength and guidance at where I am going for you guidance continually.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Special Day
Today is my husband Birthday. :)
I feel so incredibly blessed that I know this man and not only that, but that God created him in such a unique way and a way that both him and I fit so well together. I'm one blessed girl to have this man in my life!
I was thinking about it the other day when I was looking at Ben and admiring the man he is...I just kept thinking about how cool he is! :) hehehe
He has such a love and passion for so many things and he always puts his ALL into everything he does. I never see him give less than 100% on something. I look up to him in so many ways. He is such a hard work, a great leader, a wonderful encourager, expresses his love and care, (the list could go on)...I"ll spare you.
This week has been extra special for me. Since I've gone back to school and had to figure out the whole study thing over again, I've been able to witness some really neat things and I know it's God showing me stuff all over again. This week has been rough, challenging, exciting, and very knowledgeable. I've seen my husband give me the support he has said from day one he would give me when we decided I would go back to school. I didn't even have to ask him to help me, he jumped right in to help me as I was reading a chapter in my book. I loved that! :) And to sit and listen to him try to explain to me what a cation and an anion are/is...was rather...o what's the word...beautiful. In that moment is when I realized how deep his passion and knowledge goes for things! He's a smart cookie! :) But I sat back and listened to him explain this stuff to me and I couldn't help but NOT listen to the content and instead I was listening to the passion that God has GIVEN him! "Who honestly gets this stuff? and not only that, but who cares?"...well MY HUSBAND! :) But its SOOO COOL to me how he GETS IT and HE WANTS ME TO GET IT! God has given him the amazing talent to teach others...my husband is SOOO patient!
Also in this week I've realize through my Human Body class just how ridiculously awesome our bodies are! I've been able to understand this stuff a lot better than I did in high school, but it is just mind blowing at how our bodies operate! Seriously...ridiculous! And all I could think about was "what an awesome creator we have!"
How else does our body just function the way it does? It can't. God specifically created a cell, tissue, organs and each of them function separately, but together. It's mind boggling how some can think that this just APPEARED. It's like when someone made the computer...do you think it just BOOM appeared for us all to use and work on...NO...someone spent numerous amount of time and materials to create such a machine. Our bodies are no different. God spent his time ON YOU, on US, on ME. And not only that, we are all so unique in our own ways and gave us all our own little passions and desires and thoughts. Why? So that we could all help each other out and work together!
If we all were "cells", we wouldn't accomplish anything. For example... if we were all engineers, we would have a lot of stuff made, but we wouldn't have anyone else in this world to use it (heal us - (doctors). If we were all doctors, we wouldn't have anyone to make the equipment the doctors use - (engineers).
And when I look at my husband and how God specifically created him...I just smile! Because what his passion and love is, is not mine. (he loves science, I can't figure it out). But God created him with that knowledge and now he is able to HELP me with it. God created me with a passion to organize (my husband sometimes is not organized)...so I help him out and make sure things are in the right place for him.
This week has been so cool to realize how our bodies work and what makes us tick and not tick.
Today, and everyday, I'm so thankful for my gifted husband. I'm blessed at how God created him and not only that but that God decided to put us two together to experience life together. What a blessing and a gift we have! I appreciate so much the love and passion and joy my husband has more so today and this week than I have ever had in the 7 years I have known him. I thank you Jesus for showing me that this week, and of all weeks on his Birthday! Thank you for the caring person he is and for the example he is to MANY around him of what Christs LOVE is. Thank you for his kind heart and giving heart! Thank you Lord Jesus for this sweet sweet man! I pray I can continue to love and appreciate this man while you have given him to us here on earth!
Happy Birthday duck!
I feel so incredibly blessed that I know this man and not only that, but that God created him in such a unique way and a way that both him and I fit so well together. I'm one blessed girl to have this man in my life!
I was thinking about it the other day when I was looking at Ben and admiring the man he is...I just kept thinking about how cool he is! :) hehehe
He has such a love and passion for so many things and he always puts his ALL into everything he does. I never see him give less than 100% on something. I look up to him in so many ways. He is such a hard work, a great leader, a wonderful encourager, expresses his love and care, (the list could go on)...I"ll spare you.
This week has been extra special for me. Since I've gone back to school and had to figure out the whole study thing over again, I've been able to witness some really neat things and I know it's God showing me stuff all over again. This week has been rough, challenging, exciting, and very knowledgeable. I've seen my husband give me the support he has said from day one he would give me when we decided I would go back to school. I didn't even have to ask him to help me, he jumped right in to help me as I was reading a chapter in my book. I loved that! :) And to sit and listen to him try to explain to me what a cation and an anion are/is...was rather...o what's the word...beautiful. In that moment is when I realized how deep his passion and knowledge goes for things! He's a smart cookie! :) But I sat back and listened to him explain this stuff to me and I couldn't help but NOT listen to the content and instead I was listening to the passion that God has GIVEN him! "Who honestly gets this stuff? and not only that, but who cares?"...well MY HUSBAND! :) But its SOOO COOL to me how he GETS IT and HE WANTS ME TO GET IT! God has given him the amazing talent to teach others...my husband is SOOO patient!
Also in this week I've realize through my Human Body class just how ridiculously awesome our bodies are! I've been able to understand this stuff a lot better than I did in high school, but it is just mind blowing at how our bodies operate! Seriously...ridiculous! And all I could think about was "what an awesome creator we have!"
How else does our body just function the way it does? It can't. God specifically created a cell, tissue, organs and each of them function separately, but together. It's mind boggling how some can think that this just APPEARED. It's like when someone made the computer...do you think it just BOOM appeared for us all to use and work on...NO...someone spent numerous amount of time and materials to create such a machine. Our bodies are no different. God spent his time ON YOU, on US, on ME. And not only that, we are all so unique in our own ways and gave us all our own little passions and desires and thoughts. Why? So that we could all help each other out and work together!
If we all were "cells", we wouldn't accomplish anything. For example... if we were all engineers, we would have a lot of stuff made, but we wouldn't have anyone else in this world to use it (heal us - (doctors). If we were all doctors, we wouldn't have anyone to make the equipment the doctors use - (engineers).
And when I look at my husband and how God specifically created him...I just smile! Because what his passion and love is, is not mine. (he loves science, I can't figure it out). But God created him with that knowledge and now he is able to HELP me with it. God created me with a passion to organize (my husband sometimes is not organized)...so I help him out and make sure things are in the right place for him.
This week has been so cool to realize how our bodies work and what makes us tick and not tick.
Today, and everyday, I'm so thankful for my gifted husband. I'm blessed at how God created him and not only that but that God decided to put us two together to experience life together. What a blessing and a gift we have! I appreciate so much the love and passion and joy my husband has more so today and this week than I have ever had in the 7 years I have known him. I thank you Jesus for showing me that this week, and of all weeks on his Birthday! Thank you for the caring person he is and for the example he is to MANY around him of what Christs LOVE is. Thank you for his kind heart and giving heart! Thank you Lord Jesus for this sweet sweet man! I pray I can continue to love and appreciate this man while you have given him to us here on earth!
Happy Birthday duck!
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