As a thought to Father's Day, I figured I would share my thoughts on this special day.
I have been truly blessed to have a father in my life to this day. My papa is something special, a one of a kind. :) I feel extremely blessed, as I know many people never met there father, have one, but don't have a relationship with him, or did but has since passed on. I'm grateful for every single year that I get to share with my papa...it's a true blessing in life, the LOVE a father gives.
My papa and I weren't always the best of buds. In fact, to me, more like something I feared. Why? Well, ya see, as I've learned over the last 10 years of my life, him and I are something of the same breed! hahaha. Since we tend to be A LOT alike, we rubbed heads A LOT, more than our fair share of times we both would have liked I'm sure. I remember so many times as a kid how frustrated I got and how I didn't understand how he didn't understand me. hahaha...funny right? My papa and I both are rather strong willed people and we both like to have our way and we both think our way, is the RIGHT and ONLY way. So imagine that all growing up and then for me, as a teen. yeah, YIKES, for everyone involved!
Thankfully, my papa stood beside me through all of this and we realized eventually what it was the rubbed us the wrong way in our relationship. It only took some 20 years, but once I matured a little bit and understood how my life was becoming and once he understood who I was as well, man, it was pure joy for our relationship. Understanding this made a huge difference and I'm so glad that we figured it out.
I have ALWAYS admired my papa and his personality. I like that fact that I take after him and he has taught me SO darn much in life that I can't even say how that has impacted my life. I'm grateful for the work ethic that he instilled in us kids lives. My brothers and me work hard for what we want in life. He taught us to work hard for what you want and if you work hard for what you want, you can get it. Boy, has the proven right in our lives. I see my brothers and the hard workers they are in their jobs and in both of their families. They are both great dads now because of the way my dad was to them. Because he taught us to work hard, my brothers have provided great things for their families. For me, I'm still working hard, and at 28 years old, I'm back in school working hard to get a different degree (and for that matter, should have listened to him 10 years ago to go in the Medical Field, sorry dad!) :)
Just the other day, my manager at work told me that I don't stop and I keep wanting more to do. There was a gal that had just quit, probably about 5 years younger than me. And one of the reasons why she quit was "I'm tired of the BS." My manager and I talked about that and he said it was because she didn't want to work and that "kids" these days think everything should get handed to them and should come easy. I told, geez, I hope you don't think that about me. He stopped me and just said, "o gosh No...you've only been here 2 months and you've worked harder than most have their entire time being employed! You definitely know how to work hard for stuff!" Here is a guy, a manager, that I've only know for less than 2 months and he could pick up on this. I thought of my papa right away and was truly thankful for him because he is the one that taught me this work ethic. Both of my parents taught me and us kids how to work hard for what you want. They NEVER handed us ANYTHING. If we wanted a car, OK, go get a job and then get one. But they weren't paying for it. You want a car, great, you go the $$, now pay for your own gas and to fix it. We won't. I'm SO SO SOOOO glad they did that. As hard and frustrating as it was some days, to see your friends getting handed everything in life from clothes all the time, to cars, to electronics...I'm so glad I never got them without ME working for it. I appreciate the stuff more and I know what it means to get it!
Mostly, I"m so thankful for the love my papa gives me each and every day. Again, my papa and I butted head a lot as I grew up and I didn't always think my papa loved me. I know he did. And vis versa, I'm sure he didn't think I loved him or appreciate him. But I did! I'm thankful for today, and for the love my papa shows through and through. I know it took years for us to figure out HOW to show it to each other, but I'm so blessed to have a father who loves me and cares deeply for me and for my life choices. I couldn't imagine any better papa and I couldn't imagine how I'd be if I didn't have MY papa in my life. My life is how it is because of him. I thank the Lord for the papa I have and the lives my papa has touched, not just mine.
The influence a father has on his children is very impactful. But for those who can't experience the love of a father like my papa has given, know that there is a greater love of the Father, the Lord Jesus Christ. God love is unfailing and always giving. He will never fail you and will never turn from you. Our earthly fathers make mistakes, yes, that's human nature. But if your father has failed you and you can't experience a papas love, the great love you can have is that from the Heavenly Father himself. I know that His love is always there for me and when I feel like everything else around me is terrible and not right, God the Father is always there. My dad can't always be there for me, that's not humanly possible. But God can, and I'm so grateful for the love our Heavenly Father gives us.
I thank you Lord Jesus for the love you given all of us. I thank you for blessing me with such an incredible, loving papa for all 28 years of MY life. He has touched so many peoples loves, I thank you for what you have done in his life to make him who he is today as a papa, a husband, a friend, a brother...Thank you for my papa and what he has taught me. Thank you that when I can't be with my papa all the time, that you will ALWAYS provide me with the ultimate love a Father can give. I feel so blessed to have my papa in my life. I pray that you continue to give him wisdom and guidance in his life. Give him peace and joy and give him courage when he needs it most. There is so much that weighs heavy on a fathers shoulders with all the decisions in life, I pray that you continue to guide him and continue to poor your love onto my papa. Thank you for him and what he means to me in my life.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Weeding Your Garden
Today I took some time and tended to my very own, first garden of my life. I have been waiting for this Spring/Summer for years, so that I could finally plant my own garden and tend to it and watch it grown and enjoy the benefits from it.
Since we bought our house last year at the end of May and didn't really move in til end of June, we didn't have time to make up a garden. I've been planning all Winter for where it should go (we had to actually make a spot for it, no existing one), and what all I wanted to grow in it.
Once the time was right, we spend an entire day just rotatilling the location of the land. It was actually rather fun, but yet, I wasn't the one doing the HARD work. :) My poor husband.
Anyways...
here is what the process has been for us...
We planted:
Green Peppers
Cucumbers
4 different Tomatoes
Jalapeno Peppers
Lettuce
Carrots
I'm using this year as a trial year to see how things go with the location and soil we have first, and then I plan on making adjustments.
So when I went to go see my garden tonight after work, I realized I have been failing to upkeep my poor little guys growing. Sure they have been watered, but they needed so much more than that. They needed some good ol' TLC.
Here is what my garden looked like:
Pretty sad, right? Yeah, I was sad. I finally had the time and NEEDED to clean up my garden for my poor little veggies to grow!
I started out, thinking, ah, this will be a cinch; it'll only take me a 1/2 hour to do this MAX.
As I started and worked my way through, I soon realized that if I wanted to truly care for these plants, I needed to till up the ground a little and really get everything out for them. There was some little rocks mixed in, weeds, old roots, and other odds things. I thought to myself, "I don't remember the soil being this bad and mix with odd things like this when I planted this stuff!" At any rate, I started to think about this.
My life, Your life, is no different than this garden.
I am a pepper plant, lets say, and I'm newly planted and trying to take off on this journey and produce some awesome "fruits" as they say and blossom in this world. In my peppers case, trying to produce some amazingly delicious peppers for me. :)
But along the way, along your journey of GETTING planting, you run into some weeds or some things get you off track. You might still be there and alive, but you aren't truly able to spread out and blossom, because there is debre in your life that needs to get cleaned up. My garden had a LOT of debre and things in the soil that I didn't think was there, but somehow was. Doesn't matter where or how it got there, it was there, and I needed to tend to it and clean it up.
God does that for us. He cleans up our lives, IF we let Him. Junk might sit in your life for days, weeks, months...and it will hinder your walk and hinder your journey that you are suppose to be on. If you don't allow the caretaker to get ride of the rocks and weeds in your life, your roots won't get firmly planted and you won't be able to produce what God is trying to do in your life. He might have something BIG for you and you don't even know it. But are you allowing Him to work in your life and tend to your life so that you can?
It really hit me when I was weeding and pulling little rocks out of the soil. I just thought, man, how could I let my garden get like this, it hasn't even been that long since I planted it. But the truth is, you might think your soil is rich and well nourished, but until you dig out past the surface, will the true colors of the soil be revealed.
Honestly, right now my life (my soil) isn't very rich. It needs to get some weeds and rocks out of it.
The 1/2 hour I thought it would take me MAX to weed my garden, wasn't even close. It took me nearly 2 hours to complete such a small garden. I looked at that once I got done and thought. huh...here I thought it would be a quick weed and it would be over with for a little while. Just like in my life, sometimes the weeds take weeks or months to get ride of. It takes time to refine your life. Some things might not take too much time, but the reality is, the more time you tend to your garden, the more rich your soil will become and the happier your plants will be.
How much time am I tending to my life, to my spiritual life right now? How rich is it because of that?
I'll answer...my time for God is minimal. I have excuses, but those mean NOTHING. I'm doing NOTHING right now in my life to make my soil rich. In fact, I feel like I'm LETTING weeds grow right now. Why? Good question, I have no idea. The funny, sad thing is...I know how rich my soil should be and can be. But yet I'm choosing to let my soil go for a period of time.
I know it will take time, even as I write this, to tend to myself and let God weed me out. I'm asking for that right now, for God, will you please weed me? I need some weeds pulled because they are causing me to not grow and they are causing my surroundings to suffer as well.
I want my soil and my life to be rich for you. It might take weeks or months for you Lord to work in my life to get these weeds out, maybe not. But I'm here and willing to take that time with you and asking for your help. Please be patience with me as the weeds might be not want to come out right away.
I hope that in the end...I can have an end result like this:
Since we bought our house last year at the end of May and didn't really move in til end of June, we didn't have time to make up a garden. I've been planning all Winter for where it should go (we had to actually make a spot for it, no existing one), and what all I wanted to grow in it.
Once the time was right, we spend an entire day just rotatilling the location of the land. It was actually rather fun, but yet, I wasn't the one doing the HARD work. :) My poor husband.
Anyways...
here is what the process has been for us...
We planted:
Green Peppers
Cucumbers
4 different Tomatoes
Jalapeno Peppers
Lettuce
Carrots
I'm using this year as a trial year to see how things go with the location and soil we have first, and then I plan on making adjustments.
So when I went to go see my garden tonight after work, I realized I have been failing to upkeep my poor little guys growing. Sure they have been watered, but they needed so much more than that. They needed some good ol' TLC.
Here is what my garden looked like:
I started out, thinking, ah, this will be a cinch; it'll only take me a 1/2 hour to do this MAX.
As I started and worked my way through, I soon realized that if I wanted to truly care for these plants, I needed to till up the ground a little and really get everything out for them. There was some little rocks mixed in, weeds, old roots, and other odds things. I thought to myself, "I don't remember the soil being this bad and mix with odd things like this when I planted this stuff!" At any rate, I started to think about this.
My life, Your life, is no different than this garden.
I am a pepper plant, lets say, and I'm newly planted and trying to take off on this journey and produce some awesome "fruits" as they say and blossom in this world. In my peppers case, trying to produce some amazingly delicious peppers for me. :)
But along the way, along your journey of GETTING planting, you run into some weeds or some things get you off track. You might still be there and alive, but you aren't truly able to spread out and blossom, because there is debre in your life that needs to get cleaned up. My garden had a LOT of debre and things in the soil that I didn't think was there, but somehow was. Doesn't matter where or how it got there, it was there, and I needed to tend to it and clean it up.
God does that for us. He cleans up our lives, IF we let Him. Junk might sit in your life for days, weeks, months...and it will hinder your walk and hinder your journey that you are suppose to be on. If you don't allow the caretaker to get ride of the rocks and weeds in your life, your roots won't get firmly planted and you won't be able to produce what God is trying to do in your life. He might have something BIG for you and you don't even know it. But are you allowing Him to work in your life and tend to your life so that you can?
It really hit me when I was weeding and pulling little rocks out of the soil. I just thought, man, how could I let my garden get like this, it hasn't even been that long since I planted it. But the truth is, you might think your soil is rich and well nourished, but until you dig out past the surface, will the true colors of the soil be revealed.
Honestly, right now my life (my soil) isn't very rich. It needs to get some weeds and rocks out of it.
The 1/2 hour I thought it would take me MAX to weed my garden, wasn't even close. It took me nearly 2 hours to complete such a small garden. I looked at that once I got done and thought. huh...here I thought it would be a quick weed and it would be over with for a little while. Just like in my life, sometimes the weeds take weeks or months to get ride of. It takes time to refine your life. Some things might not take too much time, but the reality is, the more time you tend to your garden, the more rich your soil will become and the happier your plants will be.
How much time am I tending to my life, to my spiritual life right now? How rich is it because of that?
I'll answer...my time for God is minimal. I have excuses, but those mean NOTHING. I'm doing NOTHING right now in my life to make my soil rich. In fact, I feel like I'm LETTING weeds grow right now. Why? Good question, I have no idea. The funny, sad thing is...I know how rich my soil should be and can be. But yet I'm choosing to let my soil go for a period of time.
I know it will take time, even as I write this, to tend to myself and let God weed me out. I'm asking for that right now, for God, will you please weed me? I need some weeds pulled because they are causing me to not grow and they are causing my surroundings to suffer as well.
I want my soil and my life to be rich for you. It might take weeks or months for you Lord to work in my life to get these weeds out, maybe not. But I'm here and willing to take that time with you and asking for your help. Please be patience with me as the weeds might be not want to come out right away.
I hope that in the end...I can have an end result like this:
Monday, February 18, 2013
Where God has you
The last few weeks have been nothing short of amazing. I've had the hardest last couple of weeks but also the most incredible weeks in a long time.
The most incredible part of the week came personally at home. We've been remodeling our bathroom since December 31. And it was slooooowwww going up until this weekend. My husband is amazing and I just love seeing him work on this bathroom. He is so detailed and specific on things. It really makes me appreciate his talents and mind that God has given him all that much more by seeing him use them here. It's just interesting. I'm NOT gifted in those areas of math and you need good math skills when you are remodeling, we'll just say that. So thankful for my husband and how God has made him! :)
But anyways. He finally got the floor put in on Friday and then from there everything happened fast. Not only was the floor put in, but the walls got re-framed out for the new walls, restructure of the bathroom. Our neighbor came over to help all weekend, from Friday - Sunday. He and his wife are amazing people and we are so thankful for them as neighbors. We've gotten to know them very well over the year by random projects around the yard and times spent together here and there. We had thanksgiving dinner together this past year because neither of us went anywhere. They are not our age, they are probably in their 50's. But we see them as dear friends of ours.
I was telling Ben on Friday morning that I miss them because we haven't had them around in like 2 weeks. yeah, just 2 weeks! hahaha. We consider them dear close friends of ours who we love to share life with.
Well this weekend was amazing and God revealed so much to all of us it was tearfully amazing! By Saturday night, with their wonderful help all Friday and Saturday, I made us all some dinner. As we ate dinner that night we just had some neat conversations about life. Nothing out of the ordinary by any means, but it all started when we they were actually going to get up from the table to leave. B said "well, when you guys going to church tomorrow" (because he was going to come over again on Sunday to help some more on the bathroom). So Ben and I just looked at each other, because that was a rather good question. We've been trying to figure out a different church for about 3 months now and we keep going back and forth between 2 of them and I knew which one i wanted to go to on Sunday and I knew Ben would agree, so we just said "we haven't really talked about that" and they could tell there was more behind it so we shared with them some of what was going on. They already knew we weren't attending the church where we were going. And they knew we were going to other ones. So that sparked up a conversation and B just let everything out and was very open about some struggles in their lives and could completely relate to us and what we were going through. It was awesome. And the wife shared how that is why they liked us so much because we are "you". and no one else. And my hubby and I just looked at each other and said, "yeah, what you see is what you get! We are going to be as real as it comes. We don't hide much emotional or anything. We want to share our life with others but many times sharing a life with others is a front." And we've struggled with this so much in the past 2 years. So our neighbors GOT IT and they just said that is why they like us so much because we are real and not fake and they could tell that from the beginning of meeting us!
Not only that, we share a lot of the same struggles in life right now. It's actually neat that we do! :)
The most interesting thing came when they both expressed how for 25 years they've lived here on the corner and not once did anyone reach out to them! They explained it a little more. But they said, no one really ever cared enough like you two have. I wanted to cry, but I was so thankful at the same time. It was in that moment that I knew exactly where God had us and WHY!
And we actually said that and talked about that with them. They know the house stories we had when we were looking to buy a house and somehow God placed us in this little house in the middle of town for some reason. At first, Ben and I were a little discouraged that those other house never worked out and even after buying this current house we were a little sad, but at the same time, we knew we loved this house and God was going to bless us for making the wiser decision that we did make.
And this weekend, to me, showed that. For 25 years NO ONE reached out to them or not only that, cared enough to talk to them like we have. I told my hubby later that night after they left, "ya know, we were the ones that outreached to them, and that is what they noticed. No one every did that with them, we would see them in the yard and talk all the time with them. and one thing after another led to another and we started sharing life together."
Hold on, the COOLEST part of the night came when us 4 were then talking about Faith and churches. B opened up about how they don't go to a church because of blah blah blah. (a lot of the reasons we struggle with it too). And we were able to share our thoughts on that and our struggles and it was just refreshing FOR THEM to hear our point of view. But not only that, ti was so cool to hear B open up about his faith and his struggles and how it matched up so much with ours as well!
We ended the night with a time of prayer and thanksgiving, holding hands and sharing that moment is something I will never forget!!
I weep with JOY knowing how God has used my husband and I to share and speak love and truth into their lives! I weep for Joy knowing that God placed us in this exact house for a reason! I know that God has US exactly where we are suppose to be and I'm so blessed and over joyed with those thoughts!
The last 2 years (it's been 2 years to this date that Ben accepted the job here in Rhinelander!) have been rough and I've questioned many times over what are we doing and I"ve had heart break after heart break of situations. I've had heart break of missing some dear friends back where we moved from and I've wondered if I'll EVER find that (those) again!! God showed me this weekend that no matter that heartbreak and the pain I"ve had the past 2 years, that MOMENT alone made everything so perfect! And in that moment and in the days to come, I know that place here is exactly where I'm suppose to be!! God has me where I'm suppose to be...but here is the thing...I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF IT AND HE USED ME BECAUSE OF I DID WHAT I WAS SUPPOSE TO DO! Are you taking advantage of where God has you? Or are you just sitting their waiting for something to happen?! Ya see, I had NO IDEA that God was actually using us in those times...but I didn't sit aside and let life happen, I happened to life! We gave life to our neighbors and we didn't even know it!
What does that show you? You NEVER know who you can touch or befriend. So don't miss those times...don't let life pass you by. Take those moments and be YOU...and no one else. BE YOU! When you are YOU...that is when life happens and when you can show who you are to many others. Don't put on a front or make you someone you aren't, that actually turns people away. It turned us away from some people...so don't let us be turned away, we all need each other as YOU.
I thank the Lord Jesus for where we are and what God has done in our lives the past 9 months of owning this house. Thank you for where you directed us and have us Jesus. Thank you for our wonderful blessing of neighbors we have. Thank you for their openness with us and the life we share with them. May we remember to me US and no one else. May we shine the light in the darkest of times and may we speak the truth of who we are and what you are!
Thank you for the joy we share because of this past weekend. Thank you for the blessings you have given us!
The most incredible part of the week came personally at home. We've been remodeling our bathroom since December 31. And it was slooooowwww going up until this weekend. My husband is amazing and I just love seeing him work on this bathroom. He is so detailed and specific on things. It really makes me appreciate his talents and mind that God has given him all that much more by seeing him use them here. It's just interesting. I'm NOT gifted in those areas of math and you need good math skills when you are remodeling, we'll just say that. So thankful for my husband and how God has made him! :)
But anyways. He finally got the floor put in on Friday and then from there everything happened fast. Not only was the floor put in, but the walls got re-framed out for the new walls, restructure of the bathroom. Our neighbor came over to help all weekend, from Friday - Sunday. He and his wife are amazing people and we are so thankful for them as neighbors. We've gotten to know them very well over the year by random projects around the yard and times spent together here and there. We had thanksgiving dinner together this past year because neither of us went anywhere. They are not our age, they are probably in their 50's. But we see them as dear friends of ours.
I was telling Ben on Friday morning that I miss them because we haven't had them around in like 2 weeks. yeah, just 2 weeks! hahaha. We consider them dear close friends of ours who we love to share life with.
Well this weekend was amazing and God revealed so much to all of us it was tearfully amazing! By Saturday night, with their wonderful help all Friday and Saturday, I made us all some dinner. As we ate dinner that night we just had some neat conversations about life. Nothing out of the ordinary by any means, but it all started when we they were actually going to get up from the table to leave. B said "well, when you guys going to church tomorrow" (because he was going to come over again on Sunday to help some more on the bathroom). So Ben and I just looked at each other, because that was a rather good question. We've been trying to figure out a different church for about 3 months now and we keep going back and forth between 2 of them and I knew which one i wanted to go to on Sunday and I knew Ben would agree, so we just said "we haven't really talked about that" and they could tell there was more behind it so we shared with them some of what was going on. They already knew we weren't attending the church where we were going. And they knew we were going to other ones. So that sparked up a conversation and B just let everything out and was very open about some struggles in their lives and could completely relate to us and what we were going through. It was awesome. And the wife shared how that is why they liked us so much because we are "you". and no one else. And my hubby and I just looked at each other and said, "yeah, what you see is what you get! We are going to be as real as it comes. We don't hide much emotional or anything. We want to share our life with others but many times sharing a life with others is a front." And we've struggled with this so much in the past 2 years. So our neighbors GOT IT and they just said that is why they like us so much because we are real and not fake and they could tell that from the beginning of meeting us!
Not only that, we share a lot of the same struggles in life right now. It's actually neat that we do! :)
The most interesting thing came when they both expressed how for 25 years they've lived here on the corner and not once did anyone reach out to them! They explained it a little more. But they said, no one really ever cared enough like you two have. I wanted to cry, but I was so thankful at the same time. It was in that moment that I knew exactly where God had us and WHY!
And we actually said that and talked about that with them. They know the house stories we had when we were looking to buy a house and somehow God placed us in this little house in the middle of town for some reason. At first, Ben and I were a little discouraged that those other house never worked out and even after buying this current house we were a little sad, but at the same time, we knew we loved this house and God was going to bless us for making the wiser decision that we did make.
And this weekend, to me, showed that. For 25 years NO ONE reached out to them or not only that, cared enough to talk to them like we have. I told my hubby later that night after they left, "ya know, we were the ones that outreached to them, and that is what they noticed. No one every did that with them, we would see them in the yard and talk all the time with them. and one thing after another led to another and we started sharing life together."
Hold on, the COOLEST part of the night came when us 4 were then talking about Faith and churches. B opened up about how they don't go to a church because of blah blah blah. (a lot of the reasons we struggle with it too). And we were able to share our thoughts on that and our struggles and it was just refreshing FOR THEM to hear our point of view. But not only that, ti was so cool to hear B open up about his faith and his struggles and how it matched up so much with ours as well!
We ended the night with a time of prayer and thanksgiving, holding hands and sharing that moment is something I will never forget!!
I weep with JOY knowing how God has used my husband and I to share and speak love and truth into their lives! I weep for Joy knowing that God placed us in this exact house for a reason! I know that God has US exactly where we are suppose to be and I'm so blessed and over joyed with those thoughts!
The last 2 years (it's been 2 years to this date that Ben accepted the job here in Rhinelander!) have been rough and I've questioned many times over what are we doing and I"ve had heart break after heart break of situations. I've had heart break of missing some dear friends back where we moved from and I've wondered if I'll EVER find that (those) again!! God showed me this weekend that no matter that heartbreak and the pain I"ve had the past 2 years, that MOMENT alone made everything so perfect! And in that moment and in the days to come, I know that place here is exactly where I'm suppose to be!! God has me where I'm suppose to be...but here is the thing...I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF IT AND HE USED ME BECAUSE OF I DID WHAT I WAS SUPPOSE TO DO! Are you taking advantage of where God has you? Or are you just sitting their waiting for something to happen?! Ya see, I had NO IDEA that God was actually using us in those times...but I didn't sit aside and let life happen, I happened to life! We gave life to our neighbors and we didn't even know it!
What does that show you? You NEVER know who you can touch or befriend. So don't miss those times...don't let life pass you by. Take those moments and be YOU...and no one else. BE YOU! When you are YOU...that is when life happens and when you can show who you are to many others. Don't put on a front or make you someone you aren't, that actually turns people away. It turned us away from some people...so don't let us be turned away, we all need each other as YOU.
I thank the Lord Jesus for where we are and what God has done in our lives the past 9 months of owning this house. Thank you for where you directed us and have us Jesus. Thank you for our wonderful blessing of neighbors we have. Thank you for their openness with us and the life we share with them. May we remember to me US and no one else. May we shine the light in the darkest of times and may we speak the truth of who we are and what you are!
Thank you for the joy we share because of this past weekend. Thank you for the blessings you have given us!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Heavy
An interesting thing happened to me yesterday.
First of all, I would have posted this last night, but we switched Internet modems or whatever you call those things, so our Internet didnt' work most of the night as we switched that and battled with the thing.
So yesterday was the start of my Spring Semester. One word: YIKES! hahah...bet you thought I'd say overwhelming...ya that would fit too. You'd think I would have learned from last semester NOT to freak out right away about everything, but nope, haven't learned yet...so I guess I need to keep doing this to myself until I do. :)
But what I have to say really has nothing to do with school, or maybe it does. I haven't figured that out yet.
School was good yesterday and I thought I was holding up well. I went and worked out after school as I normally would have done, and came home and just crashed. I honestly feel like I probably would have gotten hit by a truck! Usually my workouts gain me energy and they carry me through the evening hours and I am usually rather productive. But instead, I felt like bricks, I couldn't move, I didn't want to move. I felt terrible, just not motivated at all. It bugged me to no end. Ben came home and he asked about my first day of classes and I just cried!!! O goodness, did that need to come out, I thought. But that wasn't what was bogging me down. I realized later that evening that it was because I drank Hot Chocolate! YEP...i realized I was having a CRASH! THAT is what was making me feel so HEAVY! I couldn't figure out what this heavy feeling was going on with me. I thought it was because of school, but the good cry I had didn't do anything to lighten that, it was a different heavy. And then it came to me...I had Hot Chocolate earlier that day and I was crashing from the sugar.
You see, I don't drink that sort of stuff at all, any of it. It's been 6 months of NO soda, hardly ANY juices, and no hot chocolates. The closest thing I've come to sugar drinks has been Gatorade, and I only grab one of those once a week usually. So when I thought having a hot chocolate on a bitter cold morning to start off my school semester was a good idea, it was the WORST idea ever! NEVER again will I do that. Honestly it proves to me that putting fake things into your body to give you "energy" actually give you LESS energy.
I've been doing nothing but water for 6 months and I've had more energy during this time then ever before. I rarely find myself "crashing" or feeling "heavy."
So what does this have to do with on my spiritual walk with God. Well, LOTS actually. Think about it! When you fill your life with unnecessary things, that don't HELP you, you find yourself getting bogged down, heavy. But when you cleanse yourself of those things you start to realize you were better off without. I haven't had a hot chocolate in awhile and as soon as I do, it bogged me down and made me feel heavy, like i was carrying a burden. For what reason? For a short stint of happiness. Was it worth it...NOT FOR ME IT WASN'T. Just like life, if I choose to walk without God or choose to fill my life with bad TV shows, or video games, INSTEAD of my time with God or looking to Him for guidance, I start to feel bogged down, heavy. Maybe you don't, but I sure do. Those "worldly things" way you down. When was the last time you watched the news? And how did it make you feel? HONESTLY? If it was anything I watched, you probably left watching the news feeling depressed, scared, anxious, and wondering what this World was coming to?! Did that HELP you at all? DOESN'T help me! It makes me feeling BOGGED DOWN AND HEAVY!
So why watch it?
I understand we need to know what is going on in this world. I understand we all want to watch some funny TV (I love certain shows), and I understand we all like to play some games to get our MIND of things. But at the same time, is it really helping to fill your mind with junk, to make you later feel heavy about it?
I don't know...
Just something I'm wondering about...
But all I know is...I'm not drinking Hot Chocolate anymore because it's NOT good for me. And just like I don't watch the NEWS because for ME, it is NOT GOOD for ME! It made me more anxious and stressed than it did good. So I don't do it. So I won't drink the stuff either! :) Just something to think about! I"m not saying don't watch the news...I'm saying watch what you spend your time on and is it really helping you or making you heavy inside just like hot chocolate made me feel heavy. Not a good feeling to have, trust me!
First of all, I would have posted this last night, but we switched Internet modems or whatever you call those things, so our Internet didnt' work most of the night as we switched that and battled with the thing.
So yesterday was the start of my Spring Semester. One word: YIKES! hahah...bet you thought I'd say overwhelming...ya that would fit too. You'd think I would have learned from last semester NOT to freak out right away about everything, but nope, haven't learned yet...so I guess I need to keep doing this to myself until I do. :)
But what I have to say really has nothing to do with school, or maybe it does. I haven't figured that out yet.
School was good yesterday and I thought I was holding up well. I went and worked out after school as I normally would have done, and came home and just crashed. I honestly feel like I probably would have gotten hit by a truck! Usually my workouts gain me energy and they carry me through the evening hours and I am usually rather productive. But instead, I felt like bricks, I couldn't move, I didn't want to move. I felt terrible, just not motivated at all. It bugged me to no end. Ben came home and he asked about my first day of classes and I just cried!!! O goodness, did that need to come out, I thought. But that wasn't what was bogging me down. I realized later that evening that it was because I drank Hot Chocolate! YEP...i realized I was having a CRASH! THAT is what was making me feel so HEAVY! I couldn't figure out what this heavy feeling was going on with me. I thought it was because of school, but the good cry I had didn't do anything to lighten that, it was a different heavy. And then it came to me...I had Hot Chocolate earlier that day and I was crashing from the sugar.
You see, I don't drink that sort of stuff at all, any of it. It's been 6 months of NO soda, hardly ANY juices, and no hot chocolates. The closest thing I've come to sugar drinks has been Gatorade, and I only grab one of those once a week usually. So when I thought having a hot chocolate on a bitter cold morning to start off my school semester was a good idea, it was the WORST idea ever! NEVER again will I do that. Honestly it proves to me that putting fake things into your body to give you "energy" actually give you LESS energy.
I've been doing nothing but water for 6 months and I've had more energy during this time then ever before. I rarely find myself "crashing" or feeling "heavy."
So what does this have to do with on my spiritual walk with God. Well, LOTS actually. Think about it! When you fill your life with unnecessary things, that don't HELP you, you find yourself getting bogged down, heavy. But when you cleanse yourself of those things you start to realize you were better off without. I haven't had a hot chocolate in awhile and as soon as I do, it bogged me down and made me feel heavy, like i was carrying a burden. For what reason? For a short stint of happiness. Was it worth it...NOT FOR ME IT WASN'T. Just like life, if I choose to walk without God or choose to fill my life with bad TV shows, or video games, INSTEAD of my time with God or looking to Him for guidance, I start to feel bogged down, heavy. Maybe you don't, but I sure do. Those "worldly things" way you down. When was the last time you watched the news? And how did it make you feel? HONESTLY? If it was anything I watched, you probably left watching the news feeling depressed, scared, anxious, and wondering what this World was coming to?! Did that HELP you at all? DOESN'T help me! It makes me feeling BOGGED DOWN AND HEAVY!
So why watch it?
I understand we need to know what is going on in this world. I understand we all want to watch some funny TV (I love certain shows), and I understand we all like to play some games to get our MIND of things. But at the same time, is it really helping to fill your mind with junk, to make you later feel heavy about it?
I don't know...
Just something I'm wondering about...
But all I know is...I'm not drinking Hot Chocolate anymore because it's NOT good for me. And just like I don't watch the NEWS because for ME, it is NOT GOOD for ME! It made me more anxious and stressed than it did good. So I don't do it. So I won't drink the stuff either! :) Just something to think about! I"m not saying don't watch the news...I'm saying watch what you spend your time on and is it really helping you or making you heavy inside just like hot chocolate made me feel heavy. Not a good feeling to have, trust me!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
A Challenge
Ok, OK...it's been like months since I've actually posted on here...October to be exact. I really didn't like that life (school) consumed my every being last semester. I've realized over the past couple of months, especially the past month, that no matter how busy I get, we get, if you MAKE the time for something, it will happen. I ONLY made time for school, nothing else. So what is more important? Apparently school was the most important thing to me last semester, and yeah, it was rather intense. But...where was my time with God? If you remember, I use this blog to challenge me in my walk with God to be able to see where God has been using me all day long. Well, I wasn't "finding" the time to do that towards the end there.
My new challenge, continue with my original plan and MAKE the time.
God has laid it heavy on my heart that I make time to put work, school, personal time, and my workouts into my daily life each day, so where is my time with God? You have to make it a part of your every day life, just like I make physical activity a constantly daily thing in my life! Ouch, I was hit hard with that one!
Here is something I've been pondering:
My new challenge, continue with my original plan and MAKE the time.
God has laid it heavy on my heart that I make time to put work, school, personal time, and my workouts into my daily life each day, so where is my time with God? You have to make it a part of your every day life, just like I make physical activity a constantly daily thing in my life! Ouch, I was hit hard with that one!
Here is something I've been pondering:
John 15:5,8
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ... This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Where are you at?
There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient.
When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.
When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Fighter
My life has been consumed with nothing, NOTHING, but school...studying that is. I honestly don't like that my life has completely changed. I knew this was going to be hard and I knew it would take a lot of work, but I didn't expect it to run my life.
I'm only 1 1/2 months into this semester and it seems to be going by so SLOW. Every day I go to class (Monday, Wednesday, Friday), I keep saying, is it December yet?
I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I didn't realize my life would be turned upside down.
I've learned to adjust, some days.
The other days I'm just a mess.
Have I wanted to quit, YES. But that would be too easy to do and I would NEVER let myself forget that I quit. That is just not an option for me...I'm not a quitter and those that know me best, know I go down with a fight! hahaha I hope to fuel those emotions to get through this semester.
The funny this is that I've started out really strong in one of my classes and really terrible in the other. How is that possible? I really don't have an answer. But what I've learned in the last month and half is how much I am capable of. I've honestly thought back to my high school days and thought, WOW, so this is what studying could have been like and wow, what would I have been like if I would have applied myself this much in high school?! It honestly makes me sad, but you can't re due the past, you have to just focus on what you have in front of you now. I wish I could re due high school, very much so. Because now I wonder that if I would have actually studied at night and read the chapters, instead of cramming every single night right before a test and really not getting it... I really think I would have been a much smarter person. hahaha...in theory. But again, that is the past.
I'm excited for what I've already learned and it's truly amazing how I've been able to do this. I am tired, I'm burnt out, I'm deprived. I love that I study like I do, but I don't like what it has done either. I am so tired, as I wake up, go to work, go workout, study study study. Repeat x5 days/week. On weekends I wake up, study study study, workout, study study study...MAYBE do a load of laundry as I can remember. I don't see anyone anymore or for that matter, talk to anyone...that is where I'm deprived. Our neighbors, the other day, saw me for the first time in 5 weeks and they were like "ooo you do still live here!" Because before, I was always outside or out and about with my husband constantly. Now all I do is sit inside and read and study.
Last weekend I had a little break down. I was so frustrated with the material, not necessarily because it's hard, it's just SO much you have to learn in SO little time. One chapter alone had over 100 terms I needed to memorize (in 1 weeks time), plus add 2 other chapters on top of that, who also have about 50 terms each to memorize. You get my picture, maybe. Plus on top of that, doing other charts and diagrams for this class too. But I was frustrated because I didn't understand how one person can memorize so much in so little time. And not only that, we had people that wanted to "hang out" with us on Saturday and on Sunday, different people for each days/nights. Ah, I had to tell my husband we couldn't and he completely understood, but I didn't like that it happened. Where was my life? And then on Sunday my husband, after hunting all day, decided to have our neighbors over to grill the ducks/birds they just go...which ended up being a 3 hour extravaganza! :( I was loving having people over, but as soon as they left, at 9:30pm, I FREAKED out and broke down and just was like, "I just wasted 3 hours of time to study!!!!" SERIOUSLY, THAT IS WHAT I SAID.
I wasn't happy with MYSELF that I even would say such a thing. I cried so much that night because I felt like everything has changed so much and I don't think I was ready for this to be this way. I basically made a huge sacrifice by committing to going back to school. I just didn't realize it would mean everything. :(
Here is the thing:
Just like my sacrifice for school and doing homework...I have made the same "sacrifice" to follow Jesus Christ...the difference, I don't see it as a sacrifice, plus I've been following Jesus Christ for 16 years now. I hope I make this point right.
When you, or I have, decided to follow Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and allowed Him into my life and to work in my life as He so desires, I made a sacrifice that my OLD self would DIE and my new self would come alive in Christ.
I died to old ways, ways of this world. I knew my life would be different. I knew I wouldn't be the person that many people out there are. I knew I would make decisions in a different way than many others look at decisions or make those decisions, because with everything in my life comes the same common thing...Jesus Christ. Everything I do, I live and breath Jesus Christ....or least I try to. We are all human and we all make mistakes, I AM NOT PERFECT, NO SINGLE PERSON IS...
This whole back to school thing made me realize what a life changing thing this is, you have to conform to a new way of living. You have to say No to things that aren't good for you. You have to focus and learn what the Bible says (in my school case, what the Human Body says). You read it, you learn it, you MAKE it apart of your daily life. You have "tests". However, I don't really like the word "test" when it comes to "God testing you". I believe he allows things to happen and you have a choice...and no matter what choice you make, God will be with you. But God still puts things in front of you to see how you will react or what path you will choose. Same with school, I have tests. If I don't study, I will probably not be going down a good path. If I don't study the Bible, I probably will make poor decisions and go down a wrong a path. It is VERY important in both cases to study your material and be prepared for what may fall at you.
So this whole school thing...and me freaking out. Yeah, hasn't been fun. But thing of it is, it was MY choice and my choice alone. I am the one that goes to school each day I need to, I'm the one that comprehends the material, I am the one that seeks out the help. No one made me do it, no one is doing it for me. My Faith in Jesus Christ...I MADE the decision to follow Jesus Christ, and I alone came to that decision that I needed Him in my life and believed I will go to Heaven someday because of my faith and trust in Jesus Christ. No one has forced me to make that decision. You will always have people in your life that will encourage you and help you and help you understand what it all means (just like with school, I have a great support system who are my cheerleaders!) :) BUT, on both sides of that, I have people who bring you down. There will be people in your life that make fun of you for your Christian Faith, who say you are "religious" (which, don't get me started on "religious", your faith isn't a religion, it's a relationship!!!) or who mock you or tear you down. I have those same in school who say "just quit if its too hard, or yeah see, you can't do it". But who do I choose to listen to? I CHOOSE to get those people OUT of my life and focus on what I know I can do. I know school is fine, and I also know that those people in my life, that mock my Faith, aren't helping me or encouraging me, so I just pray that God is working in their lives. I will not shun them, but I simple choose to seek different encouragement in my life. I don't need that negativity!
Anyways...times gets rough, but how strong are you to pull through? How strong are you in your Faith? Nothing is meant to be easy...nothing. Not even the Christian Faith, but at least you have someone on your side fighting for you and encouraging you!!! :)
I'm only 1 1/2 months into this semester and it seems to be going by so SLOW. Every day I go to class (Monday, Wednesday, Friday), I keep saying, is it December yet?
I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I didn't realize my life would be turned upside down.
I've learned to adjust, some days.
The other days I'm just a mess.
Have I wanted to quit, YES. But that would be too easy to do and I would NEVER let myself forget that I quit. That is just not an option for me...I'm not a quitter and those that know me best, know I go down with a fight! hahaha I hope to fuel those emotions to get through this semester.
The funny this is that I've started out really strong in one of my classes and really terrible in the other. How is that possible? I really don't have an answer. But what I've learned in the last month and half is how much I am capable of. I've honestly thought back to my high school days and thought, WOW, so this is what studying could have been like and wow, what would I have been like if I would have applied myself this much in high school?! It honestly makes me sad, but you can't re due the past, you have to just focus on what you have in front of you now. I wish I could re due high school, very much so. Because now I wonder that if I would have actually studied at night and read the chapters, instead of cramming every single night right before a test and really not getting it... I really think I would have been a much smarter person. hahaha...in theory. But again, that is the past.
I'm excited for what I've already learned and it's truly amazing how I've been able to do this. I am tired, I'm burnt out, I'm deprived. I love that I study like I do, but I don't like what it has done either. I am so tired, as I wake up, go to work, go workout, study study study. Repeat x5 days/week. On weekends I wake up, study study study, workout, study study study...MAYBE do a load of laundry as I can remember. I don't see anyone anymore or for that matter, talk to anyone...that is where I'm deprived. Our neighbors, the other day, saw me for the first time in 5 weeks and they were like "ooo you do still live here!" Because before, I was always outside or out and about with my husband constantly. Now all I do is sit inside and read and study.
Last weekend I had a little break down. I was so frustrated with the material, not necessarily because it's hard, it's just SO much you have to learn in SO little time. One chapter alone had over 100 terms I needed to memorize (in 1 weeks time), plus add 2 other chapters on top of that, who also have about 50 terms each to memorize. You get my picture, maybe. Plus on top of that, doing other charts and diagrams for this class too. But I was frustrated because I didn't understand how one person can memorize so much in so little time. And not only that, we had people that wanted to "hang out" with us on Saturday and on Sunday, different people for each days/nights. Ah, I had to tell my husband we couldn't and he completely understood, but I didn't like that it happened. Where was my life? And then on Sunday my husband, after hunting all day, decided to have our neighbors over to grill the ducks/birds they just go...which ended up being a 3 hour extravaganza! :( I was loving having people over, but as soon as they left, at 9:30pm, I FREAKED out and broke down and just was like, "I just wasted 3 hours of time to study!!!!" SERIOUSLY, THAT IS WHAT I SAID.
I wasn't happy with MYSELF that I even would say such a thing. I cried so much that night because I felt like everything has changed so much and I don't think I was ready for this to be this way. I basically made a huge sacrifice by committing to going back to school. I just didn't realize it would mean everything. :(
Here is the thing:
Just like my sacrifice for school and doing homework...I have made the same "sacrifice" to follow Jesus Christ...the difference, I don't see it as a sacrifice, plus I've been following Jesus Christ for 16 years now. I hope I make this point right.
When you, or I have, decided to follow Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and allowed Him into my life and to work in my life as He so desires, I made a sacrifice that my OLD self would DIE and my new self would come alive in Christ.
I died to old ways, ways of this world. I knew my life would be different. I knew I wouldn't be the person that many people out there are. I knew I would make decisions in a different way than many others look at decisions or make those decisions, because with everything in my life comes the same common thing...Jesus Christ. Everything I do, I live and breath Jesus Christ....or least I try to. We are all human and we all make mistakes, I AM NOT PERFECT, NO SINGLE PERSON IS...
This whole back to school thing made me realize what a life changing thing this is, you have to conform to a new way of living. You have to say No to things that aren't good for you. You have to focus and learn what the Bible says (in my school case, what the Human Body says). You read it, you learn it, you MAKE it apart of your daily life. You have "tests". However, I don't really like the word "test" when it comes to "God testing you". I believe he allows things to happen and you have a choice...and no matter what choice you make, God will be with you. But God still puts things in front of you to see how you will react or what path you will choose. Same with school, I have tests. If I don't study, I will probably not be going down a good path. If I don't study the Bible, I probably will make poor decisions and go down a wrong a path. It is VERY important in both cases to study your material and be prepared for what may fall at you.
So this whole school thing...and me freaking out. Yeah, hasn't been fun. But thing of it is, it was MY choice and my choice alone. I am the one that goes to school each day I need to, I'm the one that comprehends the material, I am the one that seeks out the help. No one made me do it, no one is doing it for me. My Faith in Jesus Christ...I MADE the decision to follow Jesus Christ, and I alone came to that decision that I needed Him in my life and believed I will go to Heaven someday because of my faith and trust in Jesus Christ. No one has forced me to make that decision. You will always have people in your life that will encourage you and help you and help you understand what it all means (just like with school, I have a great support system who are my cheerleaders!) :) BUT, on both sides of that, I have people who bring you down. There will be people in your life that make fun of you for your Christian Faith, who say you are "religious" (which, don't get me started on "religious", your faith isn't a religion, it's a relationship!!!) or who mock you or tear you down. I have those same in school who say "just quit if its too hard, or yeah see, you can't do it". But who do I choose to listen to? I CHOOSE to get those people OUT of my life and focus on what I know I can do. I know school is fine, and I also know that those people in my life, that mock my Faith, aren't helping me or encouraging me, so I just pray that God is working in their lives. I will not shun them, but I simple choose to seek different encouragement in my life. I don't need that negativity!
Anyways...times gets rough, but how strong are you to pull through? How strong are you in your Faith? Nothing is meant to be easy...nothing. Not even the Christian Faith, but at least you have someone on your side fighting for you and encouraging you!!! :)
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