Heavy

An interesting thing happened to me yesterday.

First of all, I would have posted this last night, but we switched Internet modems or whatever you call those things, so our Internet didnt' work most of the night as we switched that and battled with the thing.

So yesterday was the start of my Spring Semester. One word: YIKES! hahah...bet you thought I'd say overwhelming...ya that would fit too. You'd think I would have learned from last semester NOT to freak out right away about everything, but nope, haven't learned yet...so I guess I need to keep doing this to myself until I do. :)

But what I have to say really has nothing to do with school, or maybe it does. I haven't figured that out yet.

School was good yesterday and I thought I was holding up well. I went and worked out after school as I normally would have done, and came home and just crashed. I honestly feel like I probably would have gotten hit by a truck! Usually my workouts gain me energy and they carry me through the evening hours and I am usually rather productive. But instead, I felt like bricks, I couldn't move, I didn't want to move. I felt terrible, just not motivated at all. It bugged me to no end. Ben came home and he asked about my first day of classes and I just cried!!! O goodness, did that need to come out, I thought. But that wasn't what was bogging me down. I realized later that evening that it was because I drank Hot Chocolate! YEP...i realized I was having a CRASH! THAT is what was making me feel so HEAVY! I couldn't figure out what this heavy feeling was going on with me. I thought it was because of school, but the good cry I had didn't do anything to lighten that, it was a different heavy. And then it came to me...I had Hot Chocolate earlier that day and I was crashing from the sugar.

You see, I don't drink that sort of stuff at all, any of it. It's been 6 months of NO soda, hardly ANY juices, and no hot chocolates. The closest thing I've come to sugar drinks has been Gatorade, and I only grab one of those once a week usually. So when I thought having a hot chocolate on a bitter cold morning to start off my school semester was a good idea, it was the WORST idea ever! NEVER again will I do that. Honestly it proves to me that putting fake things into your body to give you "energy" actually give you LESS energy.
I've been doing nothing but water for 6 months and I've had more energy during this time then ever before. I rarely find myself "crashing" or feeling "heavy."

So what does this have to do with on my spiritual walk with God. Well, LOTS actually. Think about it! When you fill your life with unnecessary things, that don't HELP you, you find yourself getting bogged down, heavy. But when you cleanse yourself of those things you start to realize you were better off without. I haven't had a hot chocolate in awhile and as soon as I do, it bogged me down and made me feel heavy, like i was carrying a burden. For what reason? For a short stint of happiness. Was it worth it...NOT FOR ME IT WASN'T. Just like life, if I choose to walk without God or choose to fill my life with bad TV shows, or video games, INSTEAD of my time with God or looking to Him for guidance, I start to feel bogged down, heavy. Maybe you don't, but I sure do. Those "worldly things" way you down. When was the last time you watched the news? And how did it make you feel? HONESTLY? If it was anything I watched, you probably left watching the news feeling depressed, scared, anxious, and wondering what this World was coming to?! Did that HELP you at all? DOESN'T help me! It makes me feeling BOGGED DOWN AND HEAVY!
So why watch it?
I understand we need to know what is going on in this world. I understand we all want to watch some funny TV (I love certain shows), and I understand we all like to play some games to get our MIND of things. But at the same time, is it really helping to fill your mind with junk, to make you later feel heavy about it?
I don't know...
Just something I'm wondering about...

But all I know is...I'm not drinking Hot Chocolate anymore because it's NOT good for me. And just like I don't watch the NEWS because for ME, it is NOT GOOD for ME! It made me more anxious and stressed than it did good. So I don't do it. So I won't drink the stuff either! :) Just something to think about! I"m not saying don't watch the news...I'm saying watch what you spend your time on and is it really helping you or making you heavy inside just like hot chocolate made me feel heavy. Not a good feeling to have, trust me!