The last couple of days have been rather discouraging. There have been multiple things that have gotten me excited, anxious and now just down right discouraged. And they all come down to one common thing...trust and faith in God in what He is doing.
Situation #1. My hubby and I have been looking for houses now for about 2 or 3 months, seriously. And we've come close on about 2 of them on. The most recent one we saw on Saturday and it is everything we would love to have in a house. It's nothing special, it's actually rather plain and simple, but it fits us exactly for what we'd want someday. The kicker...the price. It's in our range, but on the high end. And we could afford what they want for the house, but it's those good ol' taxes that kick it for us. The taxes are the highest on this place than any place we've seen thus far. So the price is OK, the taxes is what puts it over the edge. Major bummer. So we decided to just sit on it and wait...which we have all the time in the world for at the moment. So we don't mind. Yes, we are a little anxious for this, but we know that if it is the house God wants us to have, the price will work out for us. If not, then there is something else out there that God has in mind. You would think that would be easy for us (me) to understand. right? Well, yes! As of Monday AM I was just fine with that and knew that was what God was showing us and telling us. Well, then about 2 hours later as I'm doing laundry, our washer decides to act up on us. Ya see, we have our washer sitting in the kitchen, because our washer and dryer don't fit downstairs because the stairway is TINY! So i was the clothes at home, and go to the mat to dry them. Hasn't been that bad, actually. Until yesterday. Its on an uneven floor and being we have extra tubing running from the washer to the hookups, it doesn't get its proper pressure. Anyways, so it wouldn't fix. I tried everything that we've done before when this happened and nothing would work. I was so BEYOND frustrated! It must have just been the combination of all of this and I just broke down.
I thought at that point, lets just buy that house already!!! I'm SO READY for a place to finally unpack everything and be able to do laundry NORMAL. My hubby came home, tried to fix it, and had it all fixed, but we still needed to dry the loads I had done (I still had 4 more to go that weren't even washed yet). So we took the ones done to the mat and finished them last night. I thought, we'll I'll just finished the other 4 tomorrow (which was today), since the machine seems to be better now.
Well, I was wrong. Started the wash this AM and 1/2 hr later, SAME THING. I was like "you've GOT to be kidding me!!!" I instantly just broke into tears because I thought, really?? Why can't it just work like always so I can get things done and move on!!
But NOOOOO.
Tried to figure it out all over again and nothing. I was so mad! I just loaded up my car and took it all the mat and just washed everything there and did it all. I was soooo discouraged.
As I sat in the mat waiting on my wash, I thought back to when we first moved here. We didn't have anything hooked up for a washer or dryer and I had no choice but to come to the mat to wash. And I remember when I would sit there and just take that time to organize things in my mind (on paper). And I did just that, all over again, and you know what? It felt great!
I feel like I didn't really figure a lot of things out, but at the same time, I feel like I got more done then, then I would have at home doing my laundry. It was weird.
I know God has these type of things happen for a reason, and I know there is a reason. I'm still not sure what that is just yet. But these past 2 days have been interesting. I've gone from content on waiting for the right house, to being completely anxious for a house at that very moment! I didn't like how I have felt these past 2 days. I"m still not sure how to figure this all out. All I know, still, is that God's timing is perfect. And that is what is holding me together in this. I know this is temporary, but how temporary it is, I'm not even sure. I hope it's short, but if it's still a year from now, will I be OK with that? That is something I've thought about all day today...if this isn't 4 months from now, how will I feel then?
My husband just said that someday, someday soon, we'll look back at this and laugh. I know I will. But mostly...I'm thankful for what God is doing. I'm thankful for where He has us, as hard as it is, at least we have a place to live with warmth and a roof over our head! It might not be ideal, but who said life was going to be ideal?
My biggest struggle today has been wondering what in the world God is doing and what He is trying to tell me or show me. So much of me just thinks and maybe hopes, that He has that perfect house out there for us soon, but then parts of me wonders if He wants us to go for something that isn't quite right either, as we would think, but it would be better than this. Its a bit complicated as what I"m trying to say. Anyways...
What all of this has shown me, is to have FAITH in God that He will bring us through this...as He has with everything else thus far! It's also just a matter of if we TRUST that He will bring that about. FAITH & TRUST?! I've got it!
Lord, help me to not be discouraged! I want to have the right attitude in all of this and I know I have failed the last couple of days. I know these things are happening at this specific time to show me something. I know it also is showing me not to just give into something...that you will see us through to the right place...and do we trust that? I sure do...just help me to remember that and not get discouraged in the little things. Sure those things aren't very convenient, but they aren't the worst!
Thank you Jesus for what you are doing and what you will continue to do! I'm so thankful for where we are and what you are doing. Thank you!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
It's a Heart Change
It’s amazing what can happen when you DECIDE to change your heart. Well, and not only that, you ASK God to help you change your heart and God changes it for you! I’m seeing God at work in so many things lately that I just want to fall on my knees in thankfulness to what God is doing and working in my life with.
The other day I was faced with a situation that was “sticky”. I wasn’t sure how to really handle it, so I just prayed to God that I would not think about it as what was going on with the situation, but do what I was known to do and leave it at that. And when the hour arrived that I was to be in this sticky situation, I was amazed at how my attitude was. I thought to myself, OK, I’ll do this, and I’ll do it because this is what I’m suppose to do and what I’m suppose to do for God. Whatever issue is on the other end of this with it, isn’t FOR ME to figure out or WORRY about it. Instead, I decide that what I was doing was for God and that is all I need to focus on and do. Because for whatever motive is on the other, isn’t my problem or my concern, that is between that and God. Once I made my mind change in that, I was able to do well in it and not have an attitude with it. I asked God to give me the patients in it. Sure enough, it went great…and I know it’s only because God changed my attitude and had me realize how to do that. Praise you Jesus and thank you for showing me that I only need to be concerned about what I’m doing for you and not what others are doing.
Help me to keep focused on that and keep learning how to lean on you and not my own will, but yours. Help me to not get wrapped up into so many situations that I try to figure things out. I don’t need to figure them out. I just need to do what I am suppose to do for you. Keep that in the for front of my daily walk each day.
This stuff is hard what you are showing me God and they are “sticky” situations, but I’m so thankful I am going through them because you are growing me stronger in my walk with you. Through these difficulties
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Status
I'm not even sure how to write this one. I've been noticing lately a lot of things having to do with "status". I've seen so many people lately wrapping themselves up into a status symbol. Where does their identity lie? Where does your identify lie?
I don't know what it is, but when I see someone focus so much on what they have or don't have or what they got to impress others, I just don't know what to say or think. I had a lady walk into work the other day (I work at a clothing store) and she walks in with her coffee "to go" cup from the nearby coffee shop. First of all, you are in a clothing store...how are you going to shop with a drink in your hand, and not only that, how do expect us to react when we see a drink in your hand and you are going to go through all our clothes and NOT spill? Really?
So I cringe at those things first. But then I thought...why is this person doing this? Could they really NOT sit at the coffee shop and drink the coffee? Or was in more that they wanted to walk in to a place full of people so that all could see that you have coffee. And not only that...what is it about coffee shops that are so "status symbol" related? And sure enough...this lady waved this coffee cup around like no ones business. She made it know they went to get the coffee shop and she kept the mug right in our faces too. We get it, you drink coffee, so? I drink H2O! I know I shouldn't care or I shouldn't JUDGE.
But I feel like this has been at the for-front of a lot of things to me lately. And what is it that, you God, are showing me through this? Is it more the fact that I don't want to be that person. That I don't want to be the person that finds their identity in an object, a status symbol? Or are you trying to show me how to love these people, and have them see what true identity in Christ is? That these people don't have to wrap themselves into a status of what people think of them because you go to coffee shops, or you have the latest of technology, or the newest car, or the executive corporate job, or whatever it might be; but more so that you can wrap yourself into the love of Jesus Christ and HE doesn't look at where you go, what you have, or how you use it, but more so how you treat people, love people, and can help and encourage people. Where is your status? Are you more focus on what others think of you or what God thinks of you? Where is my status? I sure hope my status is wrapped up in Jesus Christ and doing my best for him. Sure, I mess up, EVERY day, but I try my hardest do love on people and just help them. Lord Jesus, I just want my identity to be in YOU, no one else, no place, no object, nothing...Just you! Please help me daily to see that I keep focused on you and not on other things. How do I look past these thing and not let these people or things that I see bother me? Lord Jesus, help me to love on these things and not judge either. I don't want to look at a person because I'm feeling a "status" thing coming out from them. Again, who am I to judge. Help me to look past that Lord.
I don't know what it is, but when I see someone focus so much on what they have or don't have or what they got to impress others, I just don't know what to say or think. I had a lady walk into work the other day (I work at a clothing store) and she walks in with her coffee "to go" cup from the nearby coffee shop. First of all, you are in a clothing store...how are you going to shop with a drink in your hand, and not only that, how do expect us to react when we see a drink in your hand and you are going to go through all our clothes and NOT spill? Really?
So I cringe at those things first. But then I thought...why is this person doing this? Could they really NOT sit at the coffee shop and drink the coffee? Or was in more that they wanted to walk in to a place full of people so that all could see that you have coffee. And not only that...what is it about coffee shops that are so "status symbol" related? And sure enough...this lady waved this coffee cup around like no ones business. She made it know they went to get the coffee shop and she kept the mug right in our faces too. We get it, you drink coffee, so? I drink H2O! I know I shouldn't care or I shouldn't JUDGE.
But I feel like this has been at the for-front of a lot of things to me lately. And what is it that, you God, are showing me through this? Is it more the fact that I don't want to be that person. That I don't want to be the person that finds their identity in an object, a status symbol? Or are you trying to show me how to love these people, and have them see what true identity in Christ is? That these people don't have to wrap themselves into a status of what people think of them because you go to coffee shops, or you have the latest of technology, or the newest car, or the executive corporate job, or whatever it might be; but more so that you can wrap yourself into the love of Jesus Christ and HE doesn't look at where you go, what you have, or how you use it, but more so how you treat people, love people, and can help and encourage people. Where is your status? Are you more focus on what others think of you or what God thinks of you? Where is my status? I sure hope my status is wrapped up in Jesus Christ and doing my best for him. Sure, I mess up, EVERY day, but I try my hardest do love on people and just help them. Lord Jesus, I just want my identity to be in YOU, no one else, no place, no object, nothing...Just you! Please help me daily to see that I keep focused on you and not on other things. How do I look past these thing and not let these people or things that I see bother me? Lord Jesus, help me to love on these things and not judge either. I don't want to look at a person because I'm feeling a "status" thing coming out from them. Again, who am I to judge. Help me to look past that Lord.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Never done learning
I know, I know...it's been like 6 months since I've written. And believe me, nothing shy of God not moving or working in my life. I have no excuses...
I really thought about it the other day and really am upset with myself that I have documented all that God has been doing and things I've been learning. So that brings me back to this! :)
On the 6 months note...we've now been in the Northwoods for over 6 months, actually it will be 7 on Oct. 31st that we drove away from all my husband and I knew together. That is where we met, where we grew together, were we started our life together, where we went to school, where I had my dream job (yes, i still believe that is what it is/was), had amazing friends, a wonderful church family...and the list could go on and on.
It's hard to believe that it's been that long since we drove away from that place. I honestly feel like it was just last week that we pulled into our driveway at our new place with the Uhaul and I walked into the doors of our new "home" and I saw an empty, SMALL house ready to be filled (to the brim).
And here we are, almost 7 months later, and I see how much God has changed me. I feel so blessed to be where I am at. Not just physically in the Northwoods, as that is also true, but so blessed for how God has worked in my life for the past 7 months.
Needless to say, I have countless ways that God has showed me things and blessed me. He has changed my heart to really appreciate where I am at and what He is doing in our lives. I have grown to love the Northwoods, the weather (well, I haven't gone through a winter here yet, so we'll see), the people, the lifestyle, and our relationship with each other (my hubby and I AND how God and I are as well). I feel like my relationship with God took a different, new level. I can't even explain how it happened or how it has felt or what it feels like now. My relationship with my husband has grown and that is completely from God as well. All we have had was each other, and God used that to really lean on each other and on God. I had nothing when we first move here, no friends, no family, no job...all I had was time with God, time in general, and time with my hubby. It was hard for me to RELAX in that, but I did. And I am thankful I had that time. I wasn't at first, but I am thankful I had that. There are times when I actually wish I had that back! And I knew I'd feel that way and that is why 6 months ago, in my last post, God kept tell me "enjoy this time"...I was, but now i wish I could again. I know He was telling me and I knew that sometime down the road I'd be wishing for that time back...and here I am, wishing for that time back!
But you know...I know where God has me know and I am thankful for what I am doing. I am thankful for what He is showing me and teaching me through where I am at now in life. And I know that will always be the case! I just need to learn that God is always in control, we aren't!
I'm still learning...and God is sure showing me more...
I really thought about it the other day and really am upset with myself that I have documented all that God has been doing and things I've been learning. So that brings me back to this! :)
On the 6 months note...we've now been in the Northwoods for over 6 months, actually it will be 7 on Oct. 31st that we drove away from all my husband and I knew together. That is where we met, where we grew together, were we started our life together, where we went to school, where I had my dream job (yes, i still believe that is what it is/was), had amazing friends, a wonderful church family...and the list could go on and on.
It's hard to believe that it's been that long since we drove away from that place. I honestly feel like it was just last week that we pulled into our driveway at our new place with the Uhaul and I walked into the doors of our new "home" and I saw an empty, SMALL house ready to be filled (to the brim).
And here we are, almost 7 months later, and I see how much God has changed me. I feel so blessed to be where I am at. Not just physically in the Northwoods, as that is also true, but so blessed for how God has worked in my life for the past 7 months.
Needless to say, I have countless ways that God has showed me things and blessed me. He has changed my heart to really appreciate where I am at and what He is doing in our lives. I have grown to love the Northwoods, the weather (well, I haven't gone through a winter here yet, so we'll see), the people, the lifestyle, and our relationship with each other (my hubby and I AND how God and I are as well). I feel like my relationship with God took a different, new level. I can't even explain how it happened or how it has felt or what it feels like now. My relationship with my husband has grown and that is completely from God as well. All we have had was each other, and God used that to really lean on each other and on God. I had nothing when we first move here, no friends, no family, no job...all I had was time with God, time in general, and time with my hubby. It was hard for me to RELAX in that, but I did. And I am thankful I had that time. I wasn't at first, but I am thankful I had that. There are times when I actually wish I had that back! And I knew I'd feel that way and that is why 6 months ago, in my last post, God kept tell me "enjoy this time"...I was, but now i wish I could again. I know He was telling me and I knew that sometime down the road I'd be wishing for that time back...and here I am, wishing for that time back!
But you know...I know where God has me know and I am thankful for what I am doing. I am thankful for what He is showing me and teaching me through where I am at now in life. And I know that will always be the case! I just need to learn that God is always in control, we aren't!
I'm still learning...and God is sure showing me more...
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Strange Day
God has hit me in numerous ways today...at the angle of "This, too, shall pass" and "Be Positive". I feel I've been VERY blessed today, when I could have easily had a rather poor/discouraging day.
I know its been a super long time since I've posted anything on here and it seems as though, I could make the excuse of "no time"...but well, if you know anything about what is or has gone in my life the last month, well you know I can't say that...I've got nothing BUT time these days! :)
Today I was blessed to really have a great talk and day just reflecting LIFE with GOD. And He made me do it! :)
The day started out not so great...a few things going wrong...well one just being bored and wondering, hm...what should I do today. And then getting the mail only to realize some discouraging news. For a brief moment it made me feel very incapable and like I didn't matter. But soon God took a hold of me and had a great friend call me, that helped me see things that God was trying to say to me all along.
Then, something very important that I need isn't work and I immediately tense up and start to freak...only to have God impress feelings on me of "it'll get fixed, let it go"...so I did.
Then I kept trying to get motivated to as to what I was suppose to do with today. Anything I tried to just wasn't working for me. So finally, I looked at my sweet puppy dog and looked outside (let me remind you, it's 40 degrees and slightly snowing and wet) and say "ah, this will be fun". And I grab my dog and get on some running clothes and shoes and GO.
It was what God wanted me to do be doing along today, at least that is what I think. :) Whenever I go for walks/runs with or without my puppy dog, I use that time as time to be with God, just Him and I, thanking Him for what He is doing in my life, friends lives, family. And I use it for those times to cry out to Him. And that is what I did and needed. I needed my one and one time with God, and He knew it. :) Don't ya love it.
I've been struggling lately with just this new place in life He has me. And wondering when the next part will happen. I'm so glad and so happy with where God has brought us (my family). Now I just wonder when things will happen for me, again. So I cried out to Him...and I just felt Him saying...look where you are, look at what you are doing...this is where I want you...will you Trust me?
I got back from one of the most beautiful, enjoyable runs of my life. I was running in a beautiful snowfall (without it sticking to the ground). I was wet...and loving the beauty around me. As I returned I thought to turn on the TV and go to the computer to go to the Internet. But I stopped and just was like, no I need silence... so I picked up my devotional a dear friend gave me just before we moved. And I love it when this happens, how when just that day, it seems it was meant just for you, and that is what it was...
"This, Too, Shall Pass" was the title...
It talked about how things in life are temporary, everything in life is temporary...so no matter what you are going through...it will pass and God will direct you a new way, in His time. He was telling me that I need to trust Him and realize that this is temporary and in His time, He will direct me where He wants me. Until then, I need to enjoy where He has me NOW....with this waiting, I need rest in Him and enjoy it! So that is what I will do....TRUST Him that this time will pass, but I will enjoy this time.
Then I was reading one of my books and it talked about negativity and having a positive outlook in your life. I just have to laugh, because I easily could be making this entire thing so negative...but I choose NOT to be negative and have God just deliver me from this...and I thank God that I am becoming a positive person and not becoming negative through this.
I pray to God that I will continue to let my heart realize where He has me right now and that I just learn to let go and Trust and wait on Him, truly. God you have shown me so much in this beautiful wet day that I am so blessed by. Thank you. Please continue to show me daily what it is to Trust You and Honor You and let you take control. Please help me to stay positive and to enjoy this time in my life that you have me in.
Thank You Jesus for this time in my life...
I know its been a super long time since I've posted anything on here and it seems as though, I could make the excuse of "no time"...but well, if you know anything about what is or has gone in my life the last month, well you know I can't say that...I've got nothing BUT time these days! :)
Today I was blessed to really have a great talk and day just reflecting LIFE with GOD. And He made me do it! :)
The day started out not so great...a few things going wrong...well one just being bored and wondering, hm...what should I do today. And then getting the mail only to realize some discouraging news. For a brief moment it made me feel very incapable and like I didn't matter. But soon God took a hold of me and had a great friend call me, that helped me see things that God was trying to say to me all along.
Then, something very important that I need isn't work and I immediately tense up and start to freak...only to have God impress feelings on me of "it'll get fixed, let it go"...so I did.
Then I kept trying to get motivated to as to what I was suppose to do with today. Anything I tried to just wasn't working for me. So finally, I looked at my sweet puppy dog and looked outside (let me remind you, it's 40 degrees and slightly snowing and wet) and say "ah, this will be fun". And I grab my dog and get on some running clothes and shoes and GO.
It was what God wanted me to do be doing along today, at least that is what I think. :) Whenever I go for walks/runs with or without my puppy dog, I use that time as time to be with God, just Him and I, thanking Him for what He is doing in my life, friends lives, family. And I use it for those times to cry out to Him. And that is what I did and needed. I needed my one and one time with God, and He knew it. :) Don't ya love it.
I've been struggling lately with just this new place in life He has me. And wondering when the next part will happen. I'm so glad and so happy with where God has brought us (my family). Now I just wonder when things will happen for me, again. So I cried out to Him...and I just felt Him saying...look where you are, look at what you are doing...this is where I want you...will you Trust me?
I got back from one of the most beautiful, enjoyable runs of my life. I was running in a beautiful snowfall (without it sticking to the ground). I was wet...and loving the beauty around me. As I returned I thought to turn on the TV and go to the computer to go to the Internet. But I stopped and just was like, no I need silence... so I picked up my devotional a dear friend gave me just before we moved. And I love it when this happens, how when just that day, it seems it was meant just for you, and that is what it was...
"This, Too, Shall Pass" was the title...
It talked about how things in life are temporary, everything in life is temporary...so no matter what you are going through...it will pass and God will direct you a new way, in His time. He was telling me that I need to trust Him and realize that this is temporary and in His time, He will direct me where He wants me. Until then, I need to enjoy where He has me NOW....with this waiting, I need rest in Him and enjoy it! So that is what I will do....TRUST Him that this time will pass, but I will enjoy this time.
Then I was reading one of my books and it talked about negativity and having a positive outlook in your life. I just have to laugh, because I easily could be making this entire thing so negative...but I choose NOT to be negative and have God just deliver me from this...and I thank God that I am becoming a positive person and not becoming negative through this.
I pray to God that I will continue to let my heart realize where He has me right now and that I just learn to let go and Trust and wait on Him, truly. God you have shown me so much in this beautiful wet day that I am so blessed by. Thank you. Please continue to show me daily what it is to Trust You and Honor You and let you take control. Please help me to stay positive and to enjoy this time in my life that you have me in.
Thank You Jesus for this time in my life...
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
You Never Said It Would Be Easy!
...and you said I'll never go it Alone! All of these trials are bringing me closer to You. And I'm so thankful to know that it's because of You Lord Jesus that I have these trails because you care THAT much about me to help me on this journey in life to make me and mold me and refine me into the person you want me to become.
I'm clinging to the promise that you're not through with me yet.
So when the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself, I'll remember that You paid a much higher price and dealt with the same things at a much higher way than I hope to ever see. I'll know you did it all for me and I want to be able to do the same, by enduring through my own fires (big or small, to some). And I know you are there even in the darkness, you will guide me.
You never said this life was going to be easy. And I'm OK with that. Because life would honestly be boring if we all lived perfect lives and didn't have a challenge to face each day. So I praise you today, for the challenges you are giving me to face. As hard as that is to say and praise you for, I know it's because you care THAT much about me that you would want me to have a better life in the long run.
Thank you Jesus and thank you for being there for me when all else fails and turns away! You are always constant and that is just so amazing.
I'm clinging to the promise that you're not through with me yet.
So when the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself, I'll remember that You paid a much higher price and dealt with the same things at a much higher way than I hope to ever see. I'll know you did it all for me and I want to be able to do the same, by enduring through my own fires (big or small, to some). And I know you are there even in the darkness, you will guide me.
You never said this life was going to be easy. And I'm OK with that. Because life would honestly be boring if we all lived perfect lives and didn't have a challenge to face each day. So I praise you today, for the challenges you are giving me to face. As hard as that is to say and praise you for, I know it's because you care THAT much about me that you would want me to have a better life in the long run.
Thank you Jesus and thank you for being there for me when all else fails and turns away! You are always constant and that is just so amazing.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I am Held
...is something I have honestly felt a lot of lately. I have felt God work in my life more lately than I have in a long time. And it feels great! :)
I never thought I'd be able to say, that... through the storm, I am held. I have felt God closer to me, and it's all because I have let Him in to help me. I'm like most people and think that we can face things and take care of things on my own, "I've got this" type of attitude. Well, I knew I'd have to dig deep to really understand what God was doing in our lives. And boy, when you ask God and turn to him about ALL your emotions, watch out! I had NO idea what I was about to feel...in fact, I remember telling myself, there is no way my feelings will change on this matter. I must have said one to many prayers and helps to God, because wow, never before have I felt God be more clear to me about something than any time in my life before.
God has really done a number on my heart and it's all Him. I never thought I would be able to have a change of heart at something that is (or seems) so huge at this point in my life. I praise God how He has poured out onto me tons of joys and positives to help me through a storm in my life right now. I am truly held through this storm and I would not have been able to say that a month ago...let alone 3 weeks ago either.
I'm still scared and still uncertain, but I'm am actually OK with that.
I was having a BLUE day yesterday and was on the verge of tears all day. I was thankful for a half day of work to be able to go home and have some much needed me time (and time with our puppy dog!). :) I went and worked out later that evening, still having a "me" moment and just time to be alone (that is what I felt like, just being alone).
God allowed me to have an amazing workout last night (seems funny, but true). I had an incredible run last night. Those always make me feel good and to really think and talk to God. When I got done with my run and did some weights and it was then that i tuned into my ipod. I love it when the right song comes on just when you need it most. And that is just what happened. The song, "It is Well" came on, and that is one of my all time favorites. And that is where I get this from. God totally spoke to me last night saying...I've been holding you, dear child Kelly. I'm holding you. I stopped what i was doing and just sat there in awe! I had tears well up in my eyes thinking of how God has totally been here for me, even though things seems hard right now and they make me sick to my stomach, God is there and has been!
I'm sure people in the gym were like, "what is going on with her", but well, that has happened before...so at this point, i don't care! :) haha
I'm so thankful, that when I face a hard time or a storm (or a storm that someone else might not think is a big deal, but is to me), God doesn't just blow it off and think "suck it up Kelly". No, He is there to show you nothing my love and support and He is holding you!
Praise you Jesus!
Thank you for holding me and showing me all things you've shown me in the last month. I'm in awe of You.
I never thought I'd be able to say, that... through the storm, I am held. I have felt God closer to me, and it's all because I have let Him in to help me. I'm like most people and think that we can face things and take care of things on my own, "I've got this" type of attitude. Well, I knew I'd have to dig deep to really understand what God was doing in our lives. And boy, when you ask God and turn to him about ALL your emotions, watch out! I had NO idea what I was about to feel...in fact, I remember telling myself, there is no way my feelings will change on this matter. I must have said one to many prayers and helps to God, because wow, never before have I felt God be more clear to me about something than any time in my life before.
God has really done a number on my heart and it's all Him. I never thought I would be able to have a change of heart at something that is (or seems) so huge at this point in my life. I praise God how He has poured out onto me tons of joys and positives to help me through a storm in my life right now. I am truly held through this storm and I would not have been able to say that a month ago...let alone 3 weeks ago either.
I'm still scared and still uncertain, but I'm am actually OK with that.
I was having a BLUE day yesterday and was on the verge of tears all day. I was thankful for a half day of work to be able to go home and have some much needed me time (and time with our puppy dog!). :) I went and worked out later that evening, still having a "me" moment and just time to be alone (that is what I felt like, just being alone).
God allowed me to have an amazing workout last night (seems funny, but true). I had an incredible run last night. Those always make me feel good and to really think and talk to God. When I got done with my run and did some weights and it was then that i tuned into my ipod. I love it when the right song comes on just when you need it most. And that is just what happened. The song, "It is Well" came on, and that is one of my all time favorites. And that is where I get this from. God totally spoke to me last night saying...I've been holding you, dear child Kelly. I'm holding you. I stopped what i was doing and just sat there in awe! I had tears well up in my eyes thinking of how God has totally been here for me, even though things seems hard right now and they make me sick to my stomach, God is there and has been!
I'm sure people in the gym were like, "what is going on with her", but well, that has happened before...so at this point, i don't care! :) haha
I'm so thankful, that when I face a hard time or a storm (or a storm that someone else might not think is a big deal, but is to me), God doesn't just blow it off and think "suck it up Kelly". No, He is there to show you nothing my love and support and He is holding you!
Praise you Jesus!
Thank you for holding me and showing me all things you've shown me in the last month. I'm in awe of You.
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