I am Held

...is something I have honestly felt a lot of lately. I have felt God work in my life more lately than I have in a long time. And it feels great! :)
I never thought I'd be able to say, that... through the storm, I am held. I have felt God closer to me, and it's all because I have let Him in to help me. I'm like most people and think that we can face things and take care of things on my own, "I've got this" type of attitude. Well, I knew I'd have to dig deep to really understand what God was doing in our lives. And boy, when you ask God and turn to him about ALL your emotions, watch out! I had NO idea what I was about to feel...in fact, I remember telling myself, there is no way my feelings will change on this matter. I must have said one to many prayers and helps to God, because wow, never before have I felt God be more clear to me about something than any time in my life before.
God has really done a number on my heart and it's all Him. I never thought I would be able to have a change of heart at something that is (or seems) so huge at this point in my life. I praise God how He has poured out onto me tons of joys and positives to help me through a storm in my life right now. I am truly held through this storm and I would not have been able to say that a month ago...let alone 3 weeks ago either.
I'm still scared and still uncertain, but I'm am actually OK with that.

I was having a BLUE day yesterday and was on the verge of tears all day. I was thankful for a half day of work to be able to go home and have some much needed me time (and time with our puppy dog!). :) I went and worked out later that evening, still having a "me" moment and just time to be alone (that is what I felt like, just being alone).
God allowed me to have an amazing workout last night (seems funny, but true). I had an incredible run last night. Those always make me feel good and to really think and talk to God. When I got done with my run and did some weights and it was then that i tuned into my ipod. I love it when the right song comes on just when you need it most. And that is just what happened. The song, "It is Well" came on, and that is one of my all time favorites. And that is where I get this from. God totally spoke to me last night saying...I've been holding you, dear child Kelly. I'm holding you. I stopped what i was doing and just sat there in awe! I had tears well up in my eyes thinking of how God has totally been here for me, even though things seems hard right now and they make me sick to my stomach, God is there and has been!
I'm sure people in the gym were like, "what is going on with her", but well, that has happened before...so at this point, i don't care! :) haha
I'm so thankful, that when I face a hard time or a storm (or a storm that someone else might not think is a big deal, but is to me), God doesn't just blow it off and think "suck it up Kelly". No, He is there to show you nothing my love and support and He is holding you!
Praise you Jesus!

Thank you for holding me and showing me all things you've shown me in the last month. I'm in awe of You.