Crazy time

My life has rather been all over the place lately. I'm excited for this week to be over with for a host of reasons.
Tomorrow, my life changes once again. As excited I am about this, I'm going through too many emotions to really understand it at this point. Tomorrow, my husband I purchase our first home. Wow, and now that I actually wrote it out, it just hit me.
I honestly feel like crying right now. Why? I'm not sure. I don't know if its all the stress I've felt in the past month, all the anxiety, all the frustrations, all the JOY. ? But when I wrote "purchase our first home" my face was brought to a smile.

I was packing up some of our things last night, particularly some books. Amongst those books was some journals I had written in, never really complete. One of them, stopped me from everything I was doing, and I just sat down and looked/read through it. I think it's exactly what I needed this week and it is now making this week that much better and tomorrow, that more exciting.
I started a little journal/scrapbook type thing for my hubby when we first "liked" each other (even before we technically told each other that). I smiled all night long looking back to 2005 and what an amazing story my life was then. Ya see, I have felt at time, that the story has ended, but that isn't true. The story is ALWAYS going. And that is what I realized last night by reading this.

What I had written was my feelings I had towards my future hubby, how God was working in our lives during that entire thing. And re-reading it, I was amazed at how our relationship was at that very point. And I look to us today, and I see SO MUCH growth, obviously in our own relationship, but more so, in our walk with God. I read about each of our struggles with our walk with God, I read about how we came to "like" each other, how we did so much stuff and explored each other (that "new" relationship feel), I read about the first kiss, the first time we "loved" each other and even then, that we knew we'd be together forever. I was blown away about it all. Part of me had forgotten about it all and how quickly we fell for each other. I forgot that, because it seems like we had been together forever before he finally proposed marriage to me. :)
And I even look at that, and I'm so thankful for Gods hand in our entire relationship. And I look at us today, and that we've been married almost 4 years already...and what all has happened in 4 short years. It honestly feels like 2 years ago we were married, not 4.

And here we are, purchasing our first home together, something we dreamed of for so long...so long ago, back in 2005 when we first "dreamed" of forever with each other. HOW CRAZY is it that God is providing this for us and making this dream come true?

I feel blessed...FOR ONE, for an amazing husband that I truly fall in love with every single day. I couldn't be happier in life with him by my side. He is my best friend, my supporter, my encourager, my rock, my accountability, the head of our house! He truly becoming an amazing man of God and courage! Thank you Lord for who HE is and what HE is to me in my life. I feel I don't deserve such an amazing person in my life that is so understand of who this crazy lady is of me! And second, I'm so blessed that God is providing us with a house, a home that we can now make our own. What an adventure! I've dreamed of this day, just like I dreamed of the day back then with my future hubby. And now, here we are, actually having the dream. :)

I didn't think of it that way until yesterday, because all week, all month it has been nothing but phone call after phone call after phone call of what is going on with the closing of the house. All the planning and not planning and this and that...that you forget about the true joy it is...and the true blessing it is. I know tomorrow will be crazy, and I'm so ready for it. I pray that my nerves will calm and my anxiety be at a minimal during it all, because this is a HUGE CRAZY time in our lives TOGETHER.
I wouldn't want it with anyone else!

Thank you Jesus for this amazing, crazy opportunity that my hubby and I get to share tomorrow, together. I pray we can find joy in it tomorrow and not frustrating. I pray that everything can come together how it is suppose to be Lord. I'm trusting in you that you will take care of us, in our new little home! Thank you so much for our little home we can make our own! We so appreciate what you've provided us with and now providing us with this opportunity in our lives! I am so grateful Lord Jesus for what you are doing!
Thank you!