Last night I went to the grocery store to grab a few quick things. My husband told me to make it quick because he had some stuff on the grill. My "quick" trip turned into 2 hours away.
I stopped to visit some friends at my old place of employment and then I went onto the grocery store. The grocery store was probably only going to take me 1/2 hour and turned into 1 1/2 hours! I was going about my business getting things off shelves and looking for things I needed. I was in the frozen foods section looking for some of those warm-up meals for work. As I closed a door, an older gentleman came scooting up to me. I smiled and said hi and kept looking at things. He just kept starring at me. Deep inside me, I was a little creeped out. Then he said, "well, maybe I should follow you around the store, you look like you know what you are doing." I just smiled and said o yeah.
He went on to talk to me about how he couldn't see things because he was blind in one I and had troubles with the other. So I thought, o OK. And I just said, "well, what are you looking for, I can find it for you." He just smiled and said, "O no really, I'm fine, but you sure are a sweetheart.". I just said thank you and thought, OK, that will be that. But he didn't leave and he was in my way of getting something out of the other door. So I stood there wondering what to do next. So he started to talking again and shared some of what he is going through. I thought to myself, OK...I'm here in this moment for a reason. I'll just take it all in....thinking to myself in the back of my head, my husband is going to be calling any minute now wondering where on earth I am and that dinner is done. But nope, that didn't happen. I ended up standing there with this fellow for 15 minutes. He shared about his eye and what happened with that and he shared how lonely he was and other things too about his living situation. The thing that struck me...as SAD as that story was for me...HE WAS DOING GREAT! He never stopped smiling and he kept saying, but you know, I could have life worse. I make it by each day with what I need.
And it struck me at that moment. I WASN'T there for him, he was there for me! I just stood there thinking, WOW. How does this guy have this attitude. I thought about my life and thought...geeez, why is it that I struggle with things right now, when my life could be like his, which to me is worse! But to him, could BE worse, but it's not. What an attitude to have. I loved that he kept smiling. Something I learned I need to do more of and that it might help me more too.
We parted ways and I just shook my head later thing, wow...did that just happen? Here I thought I was going to be helping him, when really, he touched me more.
I rushed through the store after that trying to get all my last things and headed for the checkout. I got in line and about 1 minute later, here he is again, standing behind me. My first thought was, O no...I just need to get home!
We ended up talking again for another 15 minutes. I was in front of him, and his carrier was heavy so he wanted to set it down on the belt. So I said go right ahead...and I told him "you know what, just go in front of me, I have more things than you do." He insisted not to, but I insisted he did. So he did. He said once again, "you sure are a sweetheart, not many out there like you!" I thought to myself, OK, now I'm getting a little creeped out. But yet, appreciated his comments. Something, yet, I needed to hear! Strange.
It took forever to get through the line it seemed and he went on to ask why I am so patient and sweet. I told him that I've learned to patient over the years because of my husband. He said, o so you are married. I said, yep, sure am. He told me to tell my husband that he is one lucky guy and that he should appreciate me. I said I would tell him. I then told him how I was patient with my husband and it was because of fishing all the time with him. You see, my husband just doesn't FISH, he FISHES! A "hey, lets go fishing this afternoon" actually means, "hey lets fish until its dark, and then actually head back to the boat landing, which by then it will be 9:30pm". hahaa.
The gentleman appreciated that I fished and fished with my husband. I said thank you.
The cashier by this time was up to him and it was a little hard for him to get through the checkout because he couldn't see what he was doing with his money. So we both helped. He was very appreciative and after 5 minutes finally got his bags and SLOWLY headed out the door.
He said goodbye again and once more said what a sweetheart I have been. I said its nothing, its just who I am.
The cashier just smiled at me and said, "you are too nice!" I just said, well you know...why wouldn't someone be?". I've checked out with her before and she remembered me and we talked about that some more. I told her I was getting a little creeped out at the end, but that it was a pleasure to help him too. She agreed and again just said, you are too nice though. I don't know if that was the case, but it's just what I did in the moment...or was it that in the moment, the moment got me?
I walked out to my car wondering what in the world just happened and why. Normally I would have been struggling and frustrated that it took me forever to get home and that dinner was probably cold! But I found myself smiling the whole way home and just kind of thinking that life isn't so bad when you take one day at a time, just like does. And why did I run into him and why did he find ME so sweet? The checkout lady was just as sweet as me, she helped him a lot with his bags and his money and figuring that out. But yet he kept saying I was sweet! Why?
Most people probably would have ignored the man or moved along or tried to get out of talking to him. I didn't. Why?
I'm still not sure about what all happened last night but I do know that I did learn a lot about myself and about my life currently.
I realized my life is far from frustrating or far from troubles. I've always know that, but for some reason it hit me in that moment. It hit me that no matter what you are going through, IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE! I realized that smiling is the best thing and it changes your hole attitude. I realized that I'm still the same person I've always been...still sensitive to others. I thought I've changed as a person with what I'm going through. And I realized that I'm still ME. :) And that made me really happy. It's a longer story probably of to why I feel that.
Anyways...I got home, after being gone 2 hours and the meal was still cooking on the grill. :) And Ben didn't even care. :) I told him all that happened and he just said, "yeah". hahaha.
Needless to say...I pray for this gentleman, who I don't even know his name. All I know is he is old, has a blind eye, lives alone and has two children married and don't want much to do with him because they have their own lives with their family now. I pray for him. I pray that in some way I was used last night...which I'm not even sure how, because I feel like I didn't really say much to him. I pray that he finds peace in his life and that somewhat of my testimony of my "sweetness" shines through in a way I can't even imagine. I pray for him, for his family, for his health. I pray his attitude never changes and that he is always as positive as I remember it. And if things get harder for him Lord, I pray he will remember what we shared and use that as encouragement in his life.
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