What a great weekend spending with old friends and wonderful fellowship. So grateful for the time spent and being back to our old "home". It was a beautiful thing being surrounded by the people that know us, care for us, have concern for us, help us, guide us and love us. It was just what we needed. I'm blown away by the friendships that we still have even after a year a being moved away. Why did I doubt that. Some of which we haven't seen or talked to in months and it was the greatest feeling to just love on each other and pick right back up where we left.
Hard to leave? YES...but I found myself ready to go "home".
I loved every minute I had...and when I knew it was time to go home, I was ready to go and come back. I knew where my place in life was, and that was in the North woods. I love everyone so much but I realized this weekend that my heart is in a different place. My heart loves our friends and missing them and their families terribly, but I also know that God has me in the North woods for this time in our life and it was re-affirming this weekend that we are in the exact place we are called to be and I'm so grateful that I'm able to say that. I was fearful that I would find myself this weekend wishing I was still back "home" and with everyone. and yes, i do, but when it comes down to it, would I move if I had a choice RIGHT now....i don't think i would. O goodness, that is hard...but I think of the wonderful friendships we DO have down there and how refreshing it was to be back with them ALL. Why would I want to stay up here if I had a choice...because THIS is where God has CALLED us to and it makes it that much easier for me to say that. God has worked in my life in the past year and wow, I just don't understand what I did to have God change me so much and take that much in a year to change me, mold me, grow me. I"m blown away at how JUST a year ago, the person I was...and the person I am today. I'm blessed.
My life isn't there anymore and that was NOT a sad reality for me, I was excited for where God has and what He is doing in my life. yeah, I'm sad because it once was and do long for that time in my life I had, but if I wouldn't be where I am currently, I wouldn't be the person I am today that God is working on.
How cool is that?
And I look at where I am currently and the struggles I'm facing in life right now. I'm trying to look at those things the same way I'm looking at this past year. I know it will come to pass, but it's always a process. It won't be fixed in a day, or a week, or a month, or a year. And that is what I'm trying to focus on. God is once again, shaping me, molding, stretching me, guiding me and during it, loving me. As frustrated as I can me, I know I have a change of heart through my current situation and that change of heart happened through this weekend through a year of changes of heart. If that makes any sense what so ever. I know that if what I went through this past year, if I can go through those struggles and come out of it to say THANK YOU LORD, i know I can face these things in the same way and know that God's hand is with me, every step of the way.
Lord, I know that you are always here and always have been. I thank for such an amazing weekend with friends and family and the beautiful fellowship you've given us this past weekend. What a blessing. Thank you for showing us both so many things and guiding us. We know that your hands are with us during this time and that you will continue to reveal to us things, but only in your time. That is what keeps me going Lord Jesus, knowing its all in your hands. Take this weight off my shoulders Lord Jesus, take it off and let me breathe knowing that you will reveal things to us, in your time, not ours. Just like you did to us a year ago. What a cool year it has been and I'm excited for the coming years and what cool things you will work on in our lives as well.
You are changing my heart Lord, to so many things that I have been so scared to face. I pray that you continue to working my life and change my heart. I want a heart change and I want to feel your love, support, guidance and care. I know you do, but i want to truly understand that when I face these heart changes, that it's not scary...IT'S A BLESSING!
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