retreat

I honestly can't even express how my feelings or thoughts have been the past week, or even then some. I've been encouraged and I've felt defeated. I've decided today that I need a retreat. Ha, a retreat from what? I'm not even sure...but part of me feels like a retreat from Communication! YIKES, right? I've realized that my feelings of being deflated have a common route, and that being communication. I'm frustrated with it.
So my solution, don't do it! haha, NO! Not that. But I feel like I need to take a step back and NOT make it a center part of my life. We are ALL guilty of taking too much time on certain things (Internet) and so on so forth. I'm not going to name and certain particular communication things, but I've realized that in my life, those things, or the one thing in particular is really getting me down.
I don't even know the stuff that I am being encouraged by as well as being defeated by, how to even go about it. I'm honestly a confused soul and a frustrated one. I know for a fact God is working in my life through this and I'm trying to listen to what He is showing/telling me. I just don't want to miss it!
But I've realized that when I use certain communication tools in my life, that is when I start to become defeated. The funny part, for me, is that I feel I don't even cause some of it to happen, its out of my control. But what is in my control?
I just feel like taking a retreat from it and not focusing so much on that stuff and focusing my time and energy on other matters in my life. I saw something today that talked about retreat and I thought, huh, I'd like to take one of those. And that is when it hit me. I don't have to physically go on a retreat, to get a retreat. I can do that myself in my own life right where I am. So that is what I am doing.
I pray that God will use this "retreat" in my life to enlighten me? (is that the word I'm looking for?). I pray that God will give me rest and peace in this time and understanding of some of what is going on in my life. I pray God takes away my defeated feelings. I don't like that feeling and I'm tried of having it. I get encouraged, and then it turns right into defeat. Why? O Lord Jesus, I don't want to be defeated by things that really mean nothing in this world. Please keep encouraging me and I ask a hedge of protection over me during this time. I'm excited for the things that are going on in my life, the good and the hard and the joy and the pain, because through them all, I'm learning and growing so much closer to you. I love that. I love what you are doing in my life. I just want the hurt that I feel, to subside. I want clarity to how I feel and why I feel it. I can't do this without. I can't get past these feelings without you taking the burden. I felt like I could figure this out on my own, but I can't. Please show me what it is that is going on, the deeper part of it. Whew, that's a hard one to ask, but I ask that it goes deeper, so i get it all out and understand where it all is coming from.
I pray you protect me during this time. And I'm thankful for it.