Who Are You?

Today was a whirlwind of emotions. It actually hit me today that I'm 2 weeks away from many things. It's a great feeling, but an incredibly scary thing. In two weeks I begin clinicals, and in two weeks I won't have my main job anymore. It's all so bittersweet. 

Today I witnessed something that was real, normal, people. It's what is everyday, but at the same time, in my face. Today I witnessed my classmates and I out in the work force getting schmoozed by a potential employer. Well, that's at least how some people put it. I put it as "a pitch" for them to tell us about them. Awesome. 
What I expected, but at the same time didn't expect, was to see how my classmates schmoozed at them. Again, its real, normal people. How was I not prepared for that? For some reason I was disturbed to see certain classmates act one way to them and yet when we are all in class and see each other on an every day thing, its different. It frustrated me to see how people can be so consistent in one way for the majority of the time you know them and then all of a sudden, you see them act and look another way. And the funny thing, WHEN IT MATTERS most. 
So here is what I realized...
Why is it that we act one way with our every day people (friends, family...) but the minute you know someone important is watching you, you turn into this amazing person that all of a sudden has it all together? 
Interesting? Nope! It's normal. 
You see, what dawned on me is that is how we always act! I'm guilty, we all are. How many times do we act one way, but the minute we are among our fellow Christ-believing friends, our Pastor, or even more soooo...when we come to God for things...why is it then that we change? Why is it then that we put on that good, awesome, amazing front? Why do we dress our best then? Why do we all of sudden act all sweet and amazing then? And like everything you have to offer, is the best?
Why isn't your best, all the time...or at least try? Why is it that when it matters and everything is on the line, why then? 
Isn't our life on the line all the time? Am I living my life for that of Christ? Am I living my life that is consistent with that of what I would want Christ to see ALL THE TIME? or just when it matters the most? But isn't when it matters most...all the time?

What are we waiting for? When it matters most....is daily! Not only for Christ, but for everyone else. Those around me should be seeing that, but am I showing it? Or am I just showing it when it matters to me to show it? 

I was so disgusted to see what I saw today, but at the same time I did a major heart check and I'm disgusted with myself! For my daily walk is not that of what matters most. Right now, so much more things matter most...and it shouldn't be that way. 
It was a hard day for me, mostly because I saw what it looks like and its what I too, looked like.