Mute

God showed me some last night as I laid in bed frustrated. There was a reason I was frustrated, but as soon as I prayed about the situation I was dealing with, God had me realize that the same thing I was frustrated with, was the same thing I (we) do to HIM. I wept in the thought of the frustration and pain God goes through with us! How could I be so selfish to want something resolved, when I am just as guilty of a person for doing this to someone else (God, himself).

Sometimes I feel like my husband and I live in different houses together. Ever hear that saying? :) ha...
Well, it's not as terrible as it might sound. My husband is a rather quiet soul. He has few words. I've grown to learn how my husband is and how to understand his silent ways, but sometimes when you NEED that someone to say something, when you need it most, you'd like it, and you just aren't getting it. Well, that was me the past couple of days, yes DAYS. I finally gave up and thought fine, you don't talk to me, i won't talk to you! Terrible!!!!!!!! I know!!!!

And that is where I started this story, with then going to bed last night thinking, ah, really? And now today (Monday), we go a WHOLE day without seeing each other and even speaking a single word to each other (or if you count text, speaking, then we did that way. But even that was minimal). But like I said, as soon as I laid in bed frustrated with what to do and giving it all up God to help change my attitude with this whole thing, God immediately had me thinking of how it is like when we don't talk to God for hours or DAYS or in some cases, WEEKS or MONTHS. I wept! I can't stand that this is going on with me with someone I live with for just A DAY...I can't imagine the patients and the sorrow God feels when we ignore Him and don't talk to Him.

I feel terrible, but I feel so wonderful to know what God must go through and THEN SOME. I can't imagine. But at the same time, He is so quick to forgive and move on. Me, not so much, I'm still holding this in so tight.

I ask for forgiveness Lord Jesus...I am so sorry I forget you and don't talk to you about every day life things like you want to hear...JUST like I want to hear them as well. I thank you so much for showing me this last night and having me realize how important communication not only is in a marriage, but in our relationship as well! You are my bridegroom and I need to be doing more communicating with you than I do with anyone else!
Lord Jesus I ask that you give me the ways and understanding on how to do this more often and daily with you. That it becomes more of a natural thing than a "o, I better do this...".
I am so blessed to have you in my Life Lord Jesus...I want to keep our relationship strong and beautiful! Thank you for what you daily show me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!