I have a feeling this is going to be a rather confusing blog, for you to read, as well as for me to write. I know what I want to write, but really need to think all my thoughts through very wisely.
Thanksgiving was this past week/end. My husband and I spent that time with his family up in the Twin Cities (where he is from). It was a great time all being together, its been since August! And not all of us were even there. :(
I did some shopping with my husband family over the weekend. They took me to a few places I've never been to in the cities. It was a bit eye opening to me, for MANY reason. I always see of things on TV of "upper class" if that is what I should call it. But never actually stepped foot in that time of atmosphere, until then. Again, probably not a real "upper class, top notch" type of place, but close. Either way, it was something I never experienced before. Not a bad thing.
I sure realized some things about myself through it, though. I realized that lifestyle, isn't me (good or bad, however you choose to take it). I realized how self-centered some people can get, and just how sad it was to see. There was a guy in his 50's probably, who got his hair done at this fancy place...when I heard him cash out, the lady said "that will be $70 please". I'm thinking..."say what?????????!!! $70 for a MEN'S hair cut? What did he do to his hair". Then he just shrugged it off and was like "eh put $15 on for a tip". I'm thinking, gee, maybe I should work here. hahaha.
I was a bit in a culture shock at that point! That is where I realized I was not in my culture anymore...or the normal culture? or?? I WAS in a culture shock to say the least. I didn't know how to act. I felt everyone around me was "acting" as if they had all the power in the world and all the money in the world. It was rather hard for me to be in that crowd (literally a crowd).
I've been thinking about this experiencing ever since and really wondering about how people do it? Even if I had the money to spend on this type of stuff ($90 sweater). Would I really actually buy it? Would I really "higher" myself to a new level? To me, would I really become that shallow of a person? I am sorry if i offend anyone who spends $90 on a sweater...that is not what I am trying to do. I'm just trying to figure out in my head the difference...the difference between that and me. ?
I told you this blog was going to be confusing. Don't say I didn't warn you.
I grew up in small town, in a low-key family. I'm not sure if my family life or my life situation even now makes me who I am, or if it is simply a conviction of Jesus Christ that is making me quench at some of this. I wonder if having a better paying job for both my husband and I and bringing in more money would actually change my ways of how I shop? I am having a hard time seeing or thinking that I would possible ever spend $30 on shampoo or $80 on a blanket or $20 on a glass vase or $1500 on a chest. Maybe my life situation would change that...but I have a hard time justifying spending that kind of money on things when a lot of people in this world are in debt or even poor. We are still paying of loans from school...I feel its probably a better, wiser choose to pay off greater than what you are suppose to on those, than to rack up CC debt by spending $90 on a sweater. Again, maybe it's just me and my life situation...
But why o God am I struggling with this and why o God do I care so much about peoples attitudes with their carelessness and "higher" class attitudes? Am I simply just jealous or just that sickened by the foolish that it is?
And how Lord Jesus do I even BEGIN to help reach these people or even understand these people? I can't simply remove myself from it (easy to do because I don't live it that area), but at the same time, it's NOT just that area I was in, this is EVERY where. We just don't see it heavily. I don't want to ignore these feelings, but I want to understand them better. I want to understand how people do this or I want to understand how I can relate to them without relating to them. I want to know how to talk to them and give them advise when I don't have much to offer.
Lord break their hearts for pure understanding. Break my heart for understanding.
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